- [Narrator] Narcissism is a buzzword
used quite a lot in modern day.
It's possible that we have all known or been involved
with somebody who has narcissistic traits,
at some point in our lives.
It's even possible that some of you
may have had an narcissist as a romantic partner.
If you have, then you may resonate
with some of the points highlighted in this video.
For those who don't know much about narcissism
then this video will hopefully provide some insight.
Here are 11 things narcissists never do.
(upbeat music) Number one,
they will never apologize to you or admit they were wrong.
Since the narcissist never takes responsibility
for their actions, words, or feelings,
what is there to apologize for?
Some of you may feel like you have had an apology,
but you'll never get a real apology from an narcissist.
You might hear something along the lines of,
"I'm sorry that you feel that way,"
which puts the responsibility back onto you.
It's more likely that the, "I'm sorry,"
relates to them being sorry that they got caught
and that this is more of an issue for them,
than actually being sorry for whatever it is they did.
Any apology will be rushed, and the conversation changed,
so that the incident is brushed under the rug.
Number two, they'll never tell the truth.
There are two different types of truth
when it comes to a narcissist.
Telling the truth, which they seldom do,
and their truth, which is their version of the truth.
Narcissist need to convince themselves of certain things
and can get easily offended when they get knocked off
their pedestal that exists in their dream world.
They will proclaim that they are so loved,
so important and so special.
So when a piece of reality reminds them of the real truth
this can be quite devastating for them.
They'll always have their own version of events.
Number three, they'll never forgive or make peace.
For the same reason the narcissist does not apologize,
they also never forgive.
Any kind of hurt is a cause for retaliation and revenge.
The narcissist is always fighting for their survival,
as life is a battle zone in their eyes,
where everybody is potentially out to attack them.
If someone apologizes to them,
narcissists see it as proof of their superiority.
(upbeat music ends) Genuine forgiveness
is not a part of the narcissists emotional lexicon,
fundamentally because the narcissist
cannot forgive themselves.
Needless to say, they will never win the Nobel Peace Prize
in relationships.
They thrive on constant, chronic chaos.
Number four, they will not listen to you.
Ever feel like you're not being listened to
when you're talking about your day,
or when you're in an argument?
Chances are you're probably right.
Narcissists tend to prefer the sound of their own voices,
so they don't hear,
and probably won't want to hear you either.
They know that this will make you agitated
and eventually wear you down.
Be mindful of circular conversations
that you have with them, as this will indicate
that they have not listened
to previous conversations with you.
Number five, they will not take responsibility.
Ever heard, "It's not my fault, you made me do this,"
and, "I would never do that."
Narcissists are particularly sensitive
to shame, blame, and their identities are built
against feelings of invalidation.
Accepting responsibility of any kind
triggers the narcissists threat of exposure to criticism.
Narcissists prefer to play the victim
and will instead project responsibilities onto others
within their sphere of power, such as a partner,
or their children.
Number six, they will not seek help or professional support.
Have you ever worried about whether you're a narcissist?
Fret not.
If you worry about this question, the answer is probably no.
Self reflection and introspection
are something a narcissist wouldn't do.
Why?
Well, it's possible that there is a little child
hidden within them who is damaged
and experiences feelings of inadequacy.
This is where the narcissist overcompensates for them.
They need this side of them in order to survive.
For the narcissist, self-reflection is a dangerous territory
to be avoided at all costs,
because it represents vulnerability.
Seeking any kind of support
suggests that they have a problem,
which is something they do not believe they have.
Number seven, they don't address the difficulties they have
with emotional stability and manipulation.
There is no denying that they are clever,
particularly at manipulating people
and spotting their vulnerabilities.
They tend to engage primarily in black and white thinking.
They tend to either idealize or devalue others.
This can lead to a pattern of codependency,
especially within romantic relationships.
They're not concerned with the emotional consequences
of others, due to impaired empathic traits.
Emotionally healthy beings will experience emotions
on a daily basis.
Whereas this is lost to the narcissist,
who is often trapped in their own lonely,
self-protective construction of reality.
Number eight, they will not act selflessly.
Selflessness is the antithesis of narcissism.
This is due to their lacking sense of empathy
and inflated sense of entitlement.
Narcissists, by definition, are locked in an inward spiral,
where they experience a grandiose sense of self,
putting themselves at the top of the emotional food chain.
They will do things, which from the outset,
look like they're doing a good deed,
but they create the admiration that is attached
to doing that good deed.
They wanna be congratulated
as this feeds their need for validation.
So they won't do things that don't offer them something
in return.
Number nine, they will not provide you
with any sense of safety.
"It's me and you against the world,"
said a narcissist, never.
This is not how a narcissist operates.
They need you scared and insecure
at the prospect of losing them.
They'll also be using a lot of gas lighting to confuse you
and make you question yourself.
They may convince us that we cannot leave,
or that we cannot find anybody better.
You won't feel safe. And frankly, you're not.
Number 10, they will not let you go.
They will never stop thinking that they own you,
until you're replaced.
A narcissist will not be done with you
until you have served a purpose,
it doesn't matter if you feel like you're done with them.
The narcissist needs you as a planet, circling their sun,
to feel good about themselves.
And number 11, they won't change.
Change is possible for anybody. If they really want it.
This is where it's difficult for the narcissist.
Unless they're willing to accept that there is a problem
with their behavior, they're never going to address it.
Simple as that. There has to be a genuine want to change.
So, did this video explain a bit more about narcissists?
If you've been affected by any of the points
discussed in this video and feel comfortable sharing,
please leave a comment or confide in somebody you trust.
It's also important to remember that narcissist traits
can also be linked to personality disorders,
which may go undiagnosed for a long time.
So make sure not to make assumptions.
(waves crashing)
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Thank you so much for watching and we'll see.
(waves crashing)