- My biggest fear in life besides maybe getting shanked
because that means they stabbed you
multiple times on purpose.
There's like a proximity and intention
behind getting shanked.
Unlike gunshots in which you can get shot on accident
and really you don't even have to be at close range
to shoot somebody and cause bodily harm
but don't nobody shank nobody on accident.
You know what I'm saying? But anyway--
After that, my biggest fear
is getting dragged by Black Twitter.
Just strewn from one end of the worldwide web
to the other.
Just grab my edges and drag
my body down your timeline.
Hey YouTube World. It's me, Evelyn.
The way I use social media now
and Twitter specifically is a lot different
than maybe like five or six years ago.
I would just like speak out to the void
just nonsense, posting every nonsense,
narrating my life, don't nobody see,
don't nobody care, okay?
Just talking reckless,
but now, I wouldn't do that because with the advent
of Black Twitter, and the swiftness
with which they will just
snatch your whole name like take the wind out your chest
not only would my dragging be hilarious, alright,
to add insult to injury. It would probably make the news
because that's just the velocity
with which the black constituency
operates on that particular social media platform.
Black Twitter got the vocabulary,
the deepest pop cultural frame of reference
that I've seen on the planet.
Black Twitter got the spirit of improvisation
and ingenuity and inventiveness just in they genetic makeup.
Every member of Black Twitter types 275 words a minute
and has the strongest WiFi and or unlimited data plan
and my hairline cannot withstand the damage.
(stutters) I don't think I could take it.
I wouldn't make it.
I used to participate frequently in public draggings.
It's a sport.
Keeps the mind sharp.
(blows out)
You know what I'm saying?
Create some warm sense of community.
You know that feeling when we band together
and rally around something idiotic
or violently offensive that someone tweeted
and just destroy and shame someone into
either apologizing, which who can even really say
whether the apology will ever be genuine
when you're shamed into an apology.
Or they put their profile on private,
or even better, they delete their Twitter.
(blows out)
Gone.
What a rush.
And the weird thing is, even though I'm not a beacon
of wokeness, you know what I'm saying?
I didn't go to nobody's grad school,
I don't know the authors and theories
and the vocabularies.
It never dawned on me that one day
in all my ignorance, I might say something stupid enough
to catch the gleaming eye of Black Twitter.
I've watched people I know
get dragged by Black Twitter.
I have watched two popular black people
on Twitter, drag each other, thus inciting
a duo, double time simultaneous
Twitter dragging.
There's hashtags.
There's memes.
There's headlines.
There's broken dreams.
Somebody gotta lose they job.
We will not stop until you lose your job.
If you ever see my lifeless Twitter body
just dragging across your timeline newsfeed
dashboard, remember this video.
(Kenyan accent) Remember me.
If I ever say something to offend you,
if I ever say something hurtful,
you don't have to associate with me.
I understand the concept of impact
versus intent.
I understand, really I do, really I do understand.
I get - I'm just saying remember me
when you see my body.
But to be clear, just because I try
operative word, try.
Just because I try not to participate in public draggings
on social media, whether they deserve it or not,
don't mean I don't like to watch.
(laughs)
(Kenyan accent) I'm not perfect.
I never said I was perfect.
Thank you so much for dedicating your senses to consume
this particular piece of online content.
This video is brought to you by Audible.
They have a massive selection of audio books and actually
this video is inspired by the one I'm reading right now,
So You've Been Publicly Shamed,
by Jon Ronson.
This has been on my reading list since
I first heard his interview on NPR
in like, 2015 and I'm just now getting to it.
Visit Audible.com/Evelyn to download
my recommendation or pick something out for yourself.
You can choose whatever book you want.
It's completely free along with a 30-day
free trial membership.
And whatever book you do choose is yours to keep
even if you don't continue using the service
because Audible is not trifling.
In the comments below let me know what your
biggest social media fear is
on some Black Mirror.
Okay?
And I'll see you on the internet somewhere, bye.