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[static]
>> I don't know what to expect. [laughs]
Goddamn it.
This is one of those weird things,
it's like you know a surprise party is planned,
but you don't know what it is.
I know that Jason has good handwriting,
I didn't know it was this good.
Hold on.
Okay, so we got what looks like coordinates.
We've got a lock pick, which gives a clue into it, so.
This is the collection that the LockPickingLawyer gave us.
And by the way, everyone who wants to know where they can
buy it, it's a secret.
It was a gift, from the LockPickingLawyer,
whose face we've seen.
So I'm allowed to use my phone for whatever this is, right?
>> JOHN (off screen): You're going to have to.
>> Oh, that's part of it?
I don't think I've ever put in coordinates before.
I'm just putting the top line, comma, the bottom line.
97, oops.
I probably shouldn't say all this out loud.
Now they know what meridian I'm on!
[gasps] Here we are!
Oh, oh, it's close!
Okay, I guess we'll walk over there.
If I were Jason, I'd put something in the murder pit,
and that looks like we're headed to the murder pit.
Maybe I'll turn on satellite mode?
Oh, it looks like the murder pit!
[suspenseful music]
Oh, it's not.
Oh, it is!
Okay, good!
All right, all right, all right.
We got the number two.
And of course that's why I have the lock picks, goddamn it!
[suspenseful music]
Let's at least do this in the shade. [laughs]
[suspenseful music]
This is the part where I wonder.
I probably should pick it just on principle,
but also I want to get me a peek at a workaround.
Because he picked a lock with a very long arm on it.
[gasps]
Oh, it looks like there's a physical object in there
that I need, and there's definitely a code.
Oh, this is the part where everybody in production thinks,
"Please be good at lock picking, Brian, please."
Okay, so as we learned several times.
Hold on, this is kind of unfortunately,
here we go.
We know that there's a bunch of pins down here,
and that essentially if you get all of the pins up
at the same moment the tension on the tension wrench
will pull it open, and it takes a very, very fine hand.
So you want to hold it really delicately,
and you can actually see that first pin there.
Now the thing is, the only locks that I've picked
have been like door locks.
So there's a couple of different ways
that we were taught to lock pick.
One is raking, or it's similar to a bump key,
the idea is you just sort of jam everything,
and at some point, all the pins go up at the same moment
and then the tension is enough to open it.
But I've never been super great at the finesse
of individually grabbing each pin.
The biggest thing seems to be that you want to have
a mental map--
[Gasps] Oh, I felt it.
You want to create a mental map of how many pins there are,
and sort of get a sense of which ones are stuck where.
The moment you release the tension,
you can feel all the pins kind of clack down.
It helps barely a little bit to kind of be able
to look down, but mainly it's all done by feel.
Reminds me a bit of in the original Marvel "Daredevil" movie
the way he would see the world is by, you know, kind of
creating a map from sound.
Only this one's with feel.
Okay, so I'm going to let go and I'm going to count how many
of the pins I can feel releasing.
One.
Two.
Hm, so it feels like I got two or three.
>> JOHN (off screen): Is that a Master Lock?
>> It doesn't say the word "master" on it,
so I'm going to guess it's not.
So it's even crappier than a Master Lock.
If such a thing is possible!
I think we're at the part where I got to do them
out of order, which is a pain.
I could try just raking.
Yeah!
Rake for the win!
Oh, that's great, all right!
Oh, that felt good.
Okay, so this is definitely a one-time pad,
which I'm going to have to remember for how that goes.
I don't know what's in here, and none of these are labeled
in any particular order.
So we got to bunch of unlabeled packages.
I guess I'll start with the big one first.
Holy cow!
Jason went all out!
Oh!
It's a nice, Royal Navy telescope, London 1950.
Is this an authentic artifact?
I'm waiting for it to have like a hilarious gag in it
or something.
It's funny how just this being nicer than I expected
sort of changes my understanding of the game we're playing.
Okay.
[Gasps] A compass!
There's obviously a compass app on the phone,
and I had to use the phone to even make it to here,
so I don't know if this is a signal mirror thing or--
I hope I don't have to chop down a tree!
That's one of the things we learned you can do
with a compass, is use that!
Huh, if I had opened this first I would think
it's like a arcade coin or some kind of chintzy relic,
but it looks like it's actual Latin.
And because the spyglass is so genuinely an old artifact,
it makes me wonder if this is either a replica
or possibly even, I mean I guess on eBay you could buy
old coins.
God, I totally have to reassess the level of game
Jason's playing here.
I showed up ready to play, you know, dominoes,
and he's got four-dimensional chess.
Okay, so I'm going to guess there's info in there.
[camera clicking]
Okay, so I'm going to guess that this is what I'm supposed
to use to decode using the one-time pad.
But the only way that'll work is if I know the code word,
which maybe there's a hint on whatever's in there.
I'm going to guess this is a sinister,
maniacal TMZCOBRA speech.
"Press and hold"?
[Gasps] This is a radio.
Did he set up like a transmitter around here?
Is there an awesome pirate signal?
I'm going to start with this.
It's tuned to 88.9, which is one of the safer frequencies
to broadcast on.
A random puppy just showed up.
Is this part of it, too?
Is he that good?
Okay.
I can almost hear something on here.
[Gasps] Jason Murphy is Tejano star!
[buried deep in static] ♪ I'm only human, after all ♪
He's only human, we knew it!
Okay, so I'm going to guess we haven't gotten
to whatever this is.
All right, let's watch whatever's on the card.
Son of a [bleep], it's a TMZ Cobra adventure!
Oh, this is amazing, that logo's amazing!
Yes, the pants, oh my god!
[muffled] >> GRANDPANTS: Hello, Mr. Brushwood!
Oh, you think magic is your ally?
But you merely adopted it.
I was born--
>> WOMAN (off screen): Hey, take off the mask.
>> What?
>> WOMAN: No one can understand you,
you've got to take off your mask.
>> I'm trying to--
>> WOMAN: Yeah, I know what you're trying to do,
but you've got to take the mask off.
>> All right.
>> Oh, this is so good!
>> Greetings, Mr. Brushwood!
Did you think me gone?
>> Yes, I did!
>> Did you think me cowed?
Oh, not so!
I have no fear of you and your new changeling allies!
Traitor!
You've betrayed the human race,
and for that you will be punished.
You thought me defeated, but I have returned!
For I now have... the dossier!
>> Oh, sweet, the MacGuffin!
>> The dossier that will destroy your wretched
presidential candidate, Madam Kardashian!
>> Oh, no, she won't.
She's going to law school! >> Once this has leaked
into the world, she will be ruined.
Unless you can pass the trials I have set before you!
You have received a box of implements, clues if you will!
Will they be of use to you in what is sure to be
your last adventure?
>> We don't even have a name for my nemesis!
But those pants are dope!
[coughing] [laughing]
Okay, so this is it, man.
I guess I have everything.
I was hoping for more direction,
but I'm not the least bit sad.
That was amazing.
I guess at this point if we're done with the computer,
put that aside.
All right.
So I'm going to guess that this is the one-time pad
that we use to decode it.
This is the message, in fact I'm going to write that down.
You match it up with, okay, so E, E, E, and E is I.
So I, question mark?
So A,
and H.
Nope, this can't be right, god!
Am I going to have to go back and watch that episode?
I am.
I was given a cellphone for a reason.
Who would've thought that my best resource would be
Modern Rogue?
Oh, I get it, I get it.
So since we have this grid, that's A through 9,
and this grid that's A through 9, and this is all laid out.
My guess is we combine what you send me with what I know.
>> Exactly!
You got to start from the right side
and the right direction, right?
So here, you're going to start with D.
Because your first one here on your first message is D.
>> BRIAN: Got it.
So you begin with the one-time pad.
>> JASON: So you've got your D here, and then go over to J
here actually.
>> BRIAN: Oh, that's not what I thought at all!
Ah, that's okay!
Wow, I was wondering why I kept ended up stuck on the A's.
Okay, so, I want to go down to E, and then I want to go
until I see E.
Oh, so it just goes back to A.
So A.
And then I go to A, and I go until I see eight,
but then that's still eight.
Am I in the same thing?
I'm still not doing it right I don't think.
>> JASON: Correct,.
>> BRIAN (on phone): Okay, there you go, to I.
>> Yeah, okay, all right, so go down to B,
then over until I see eight, and then up seven.
E, eight, seven.
[Gasps] East, eight, seven, maybe?
These could be coordinates.
And then up to three.
[Beeping] It's numbers, isn't it?
Under column E, go over until I see N.
Under B, I go over to seven, and I go up and I get a six.
Boy, this is feeling farther and farther from right.
And now I repeat, I guess?
Because that's one, two, three, four, five.
One, two, three, four, five.
So that's 10.
I guess we repeat.
>> The one-time pad key will look something like this,
where we have a bunch of different messages.
You're only going to use one of these.
And you're only going to use it once.
When someone out in the field sends you a message,
you're going to use your first key.
>> Okay.
>> And then once you've decoded that message
that they sent you, you burn this.
>> E over to two.
It's going to be a Y.
Two Y's in a row?
This can't be right.
So, so far I've got E, eight, seven, three, one, J, six,
T, I, U, M, U, G, R, Y, Y.
You know what, I made the immediate assumption
that this had to be the keyword.
I wonder if there are other keywords to try.
So we could do telescope,
or maybe that coin?
On the one side it says nine, or eleven.
It's got to be nine, because I think--
Oh, I never realized.
Do you think that's why they put laurel wreaths
at the bottom?
So that you could know whether it's nine or eleven?
You know what, I'm allowed to use my phone,
I'm going to find out if there's a Latin translation for this.
This vecinctus?
Latin detected.
It looks like V-E-C-I-N-C-T-U-S.
It doesn't have a translation,
but maybe that's the,
let me treat it as the keyword.
Under V to E.
I'm going to say this is probably garbage as well.
The keyword.
Would he give me a scrambled keyword?
Anagram finder.
Six letter words, "Bahaha!" [laughs]
Five letter words, beach, beech, acha, abaca.
Okay, so I'm going to guess that this is not
a scrambled word.
No, they can't even be like hexadecimals or something.
So they're 10 letters, but for the life of me,
I don't know what that means outside of it does line up
nicely with the five by five on this code.
Things that there are ten of, not musical,
because that would be eights.
Not pentatonic, that'd be fives.
Ten, maybe binary, but that doesn't really get me anywhere.
Fingers on hands.
We have a mixture of vowels and consonants.
We also have a mixture of straight lines and curves.
We also have some of these can be flipped upside down.
Sometimes you'll do a code where you'll invert everything
upside down.
Couldn't be something backwards,
because the C is going the wrong direction.
And we noticed that there's a lot of repeating on them.
If they were numbers, what would they be?
They'd be five, one, two--
[Gasps] That's a phone number,
that's an Austin phone number!
[Beeping] This is a phone number, isn't it?
Five, one, two, you mother! [Beeping]
Goddamn it, goddamn it,
and you even told me I needed my phone.
Oh my god.
Call five, one, two, eight, one, five,
two, one, eight, three!
>> SIRI: Calling now.
[distorted] >> JASON: 8.8824.
Negative 97.3306.
30.8824.
Negative 97.3306.
>> Oh my god, I got sunscreen in my eyes,
so it looks like I'm crying with joy!
Let's just say I'm crying with joy!
All right, all right, so, so, obviously more coordinates!
I think we're about to move!
All right, I got the coordinates in there.
It's again on property, but this time it looks like
it's just over there.
Okay.
[robot voice] >> ANNOUNCER: Next time.
>> Okay, so how does that get broken up?
I guess in the same way.
Maybe this is alphanumeric translation.
[Sniffing] Goddamn, whoa, that was a crafty one!
Wait, that's it, that's all I get?
I realized the other day that I've been using Squarespace
for nearly a decade now.
Ever since my little magic show touring blog
all the way up to our new big, fat, gigantic
themodernrogue.com complete with new articles
every single week!
>> You can go from a small little website that only
Jason reads to--
>> Yeah, which, by the way, thank you very much
for reading it!
>> You're welcome.
I mostly just did it to post snarky comments,
but that's neither here nor there!
Squarespace has immaculate support 24/7 365 days a year.
It's so scalable, and one of my favorite things
is there are new plug-ins, no updates, no patches ever!
That's huge!
>> Yeah, and the scalability matters, too,
because when you become an overnight success,
you don't want to get a phone call from an ISB
saying, "Yes, you have to buy more bandwidth."
They have distributed virtual service
so this thing goes huge and global overnight!
>> And it's so easy to use.
You don't have to know any code.
You just drag and drop,
and make gorgeous, professional looking websites
at the drop of a hat.
>> Yeah, we even did that live on our show.
We made our first version of the Modern Rogue!
>> That's right!
If you got squarespace.com forward slash rogue,
and get 10% off your first purchase and a free trial!
>> And keep us in business.
Be along on this journey, man.
>> Yeah, we're going to keep scaling.
We're doing it!
>> You know, people just don't seem to be tied
to anything on this computer. [laughs]
Install when VLC.
>> BRANDT (off screen): Your first challenge!
>> [Laughs] Remove the malware on Cory's PC!