Please welcome back to the show
our friend, Keegan-Michael Key, everybody!
-♪ ♪ -(cheering, applause)
Hey!
-Yeah! -(loud cheering)
Hello!
-(cheering, whooping, applause) -Ah! Ah!
(whooping with audience)
What's that? Yeah!
They're saying "who." They're saying "who."
They're saying "who"? Keegan-Michael Key.
They don't know who. They don't know who.
-That's all it means.
I was amazed-- it was a blast from the past. Whoo! Whoo!
-Who? Welcome back. -Where's my dog pound?!
-Welcome back, my friend. -I just say it like...
I thought... here was what was funny to me--
at the beginning of the show, you guys-- it was so sweet--
you got so excited, you said, "From one of my favorite shows,
"ladies and gentlemen, from Key & Peele, ladies and gentlemen,
welcome Keegan-Michael Peele...!"
-Well, that's... -And so excited, was so excited,
-was so sweet of you to be that flattering. -'Cause I miss you.
-I miss you, too, buddy.
-I know, I know. -(cheering, applause)
We, uh... we just, uh, I mean, Jordan and I
have been cooking up new stuff, and, uh,
-Have you? -cooking up new stuff together. Yeah.
And, uh... but the show... the show, for us,
came to a natural end-- we wanted to be...
um, we just wanted to be so very British about the whole thing.
Which was like... five seasons-- let's get the hell out.
You know what I mean? And, um, and...
You'll thank us now, because if we'd gone seven or eight seasons
you would have said, "Remember when they were funny
in the fifth season? Remember when Key & Peele was still..."
That is a very British thing.
-Five seasons, you get out. -Last time we were here, though,
you... we didn't really have the
-No. -because that was on election night.
-That was on election night. -Yes, and, uh, Donald Trump won.
Yes, he did. And that night was, uh...
Yeah, every cup I drank out of that night
-did not have water in it. -(laughter)
What was funny is I got... I got Keegan a bottle
of whiskey backstage just to say thank you
for coming on election night, and then the bottle...
-he didn't leave with it. -(laughter)
There was no need. Well, I did, I actually I did leave with it.
It makes a very beautiful vase in my house. It's...
Let's, uh, let's talk a little bit about the, I guess,
the feeling post-show, because the reason you're here
is very special-- you're not here for an interview,
you're here to give us a gift, which I'm really grateful for,
every single person who's a huge fan of your show,
that was inspired by the election.
Yes, we, um, uh, Jordan and I got an e-mail a few weeks ago
from one of our executive producers,
a really lovely, lovely, talented guy
by the name of Jay Martel, and he was a writer
and executive producer on the show.
And for his catharsis, he had written
a brand-new Obama/Luther, which we thought would be...
probably be the last Obama/Luther sketch,
and asked if we wanted to do it.
We both screamed "yes," as much as you can scream.
I mean, you can't... like, there's caps,
and then you try to make the caps bigger
by changing the font on your phone,
but I don't have that phone yet. So... so we...
and so we decided to make a final Obama/Luther.
-So we made a final Obama/Luther sketch... -(cheering, whooping)
and, um...
we thought it only apropos, and, uh, and everybody on Twitter
was like, "What are you doing? You got to do something!
You got to do something!" So we're doing it.
So it's-it's happening...
right... now.
("Hail to the Chief" playing)
(cheering, applause)
Good evening, my fellow Americans.
You remember my anger translator, Luther.
Why, hello.
Now, I've told Luther that he can join me
for this last address,
but that his being on his very best behavior is crucial
to healing the divide in this country.
Keep in chill, Luther.
Go against every natural instinct
in your body.
Since we last spoke,
the country has voted for a new president.
Trump!
Here we go.
Oh, man. Come on, come on.
Really? It's all about the Trump.
How did this happen, man?
Get the (bleep) out.
Y'all gonna vote for the dude
that's gonna make America hate again?
Don't you understand?
This is how the
-Now, it's true, we all have to accept... -Damn.
...that we're gonna have someone else calling the shots.
Vladimir Putin, y'all.
We got a naked Russki on horseback
gonna be running the show.
Spasibo,
It was a close election, but the people have spoken.
Yeah. They voted for Hillary Clinton,
but then, this outdated electoral college mumbo-jumbo
voodoo bull(bleep) got in there.
-It's more imperative than ever, -(in distance): Come on!
that we move on as a country united.
United in the fact that we can't (bleep) stand each other.
Even as the country adopts new policies, uh,
on trade, immigration...
New policy: The only good immigrant,
is a smokin' hot white one.
Who plagiarizes speeches.
Ooh.
I said bitch.
I have greatly enjoyed my time as your president.
Except, when, um, you know, um,
um, let me think about it, let me think.
When the Republicans wouldn't let me do (bleep),
and then that one dude said I wasn't born here,
and then y'all elected him.
So you know what? Didn't love that part so much.
So pretty much the beginning, middle and end sucked.
It sucked.
I have met with President-elect Trump
and have pledged my support in his transition.
He doesn't even want the job, y'all.
I saw it in his eyes.
The dude was shook.
The only reason he ran
is because his factory in China
made too many red hats.
(high-pitched voice): That's the only reason.
I assure you,
that if he succeeds, we all succeed.
Unless he succeeds with all that (bleep)
he promises to succeed with.
In that case, we're (bleep).
And now a time-cherished tradition,
is that the outgoing president...
Dude, don't say "outgoing", don't say "outgoing".
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
Mama Sah Mu Maku Sah.
...that's me, leaves the incoming president
a little note in the desk of the Oval Office.
Of course, it's completely confidential.
Go (bleep) yourself.
Until now.
Oh. That's my bad.
(cheering and applause)
To all of you out there
who are afraid that your way of life is under attack,
remember that progress isn't always a straight line.
No. 'Cause sometimes it's a line that goes like this.
It goes... (sputtering)
And then just goes straight down for 4,000 years.
Stay strong.
And never stop standing up for what you believe in.
Uh, yes. I would like to book a four-year-stay
for five at the Icehotel in Sweden, please.
Sorry, five?
For Beau. I mean, y'all are gonna take Bo.
Make it six.
In summation,
Thanks, America, it's been real.
It's been good.
But it ain't been real good.
Apparently, orange is the new black.
Good luck with your healthcare, assholes.
-I'm out. -Peace.
("Hail to the Chief" plays)
(music stops)
I got my eye on you, pussy-grabber.
(music starts again)
(cheering and applause)
(whooping)
-Thank you so much. -Thank you, brother.
Thank you for the comedy, thank you for the laughs,
thank you for your talent, thank you to you.
Thank you to Jordan.
Keegan-Michael Key, everybody.