It seems like in current society we are excessively concerned with our self-image.
But, even though we might think we’ve figured ourselves out, is this really the case?
Or are we just showing the world - and ourselves - a mere reflection who we truly are?
Could it be that we are repressing certain parts of ourselves and that below the surface
there hides a monster that might awaken someday?
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And thank you Edward, Sai Sai and Alexander for supporting me on Patreon.
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Now, let’s dive in.
No matter where we go: we constantly define and redefine who we really are, and at the
same time we judge other people’s behaviors.
In society we are expected to behave in certain ways that are socially acceptable.
How many codes of conduct and systems of ethics do we have as a society, in workplaces,
at home, in nightlife, in a restaurant, at dinner parties, et cetera?
The consequence is that we wear a number of masks.
These are sets of behaviors as well as beliefs about ourselves and how we relate to the world.
Such a mask is called the persona; which is where the word ‘person’ comes from.
A problem with the persona is that many people present themselves in certain ways, while
keeping many undesirable traits hidden the dark places of their minds.
This happens consciously as well as unconsciously.
Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung called theses dark places the shadow.
What’s so tragic about the shadow is that many people don’t really know that they have it.
Especially those with a very strong attachment to their persona, who believe that they are
their persona and that there possibly cannot be something else about them lurking in the dark.
Yes, they might experience some thoughts and desires that are quite inconvenient, so they
quickly repress them.
But they more they do, the larger and uglier the shadow becomes.
I quote Jung:
Unfortunately there can be no doubt that man is, on the whole, less good than he imagines
himself or wants to be.
Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious
life, the blacker and denser it is.
End quote.
An example of this, are the abuse scandals within religious or spiritual communities.
Certain positions, like those of a priest, monk, holy man, and so on, often require behavior
that is contra-natural to their own, along with the social expectation that they behave
in certain ways that are, you know, ‘holy’.
Many walk this path successfully, but there are some who haven’t been able to integrate
their undesirable traits.
After a while these bubbles of repressed desires start to burst, and the shadow that they’ve
repressed for years or even decades comes to the surface.
And not in a friendly way.
People with dense shadows are often extremely judgemental.
They repress their flaws, and are often quick to judge others for exactly those flaws.
In reality, they see in others what they try to hide themselves.
By projecting our own darkness onto others, we at least don’t have to look into the
abyss of our own minds.
But the mere agitation of seeing our own dark sides in other people, is a sign that we might
have work to do.
Even though we ought to behave as decent citizens, that smile at the neighbours, go to work,
abide the societal rules; somewhere deep inside, there lurks an immense capacity for evil.
World War II is a great example of how innocent, regular people can turn into bloodthirsty killers.
Because of a series of unfortunate events, a monster arose from the German collective
unconsciousness and mustered its forces.
Its malice awakened other shadows all over the world, that has led to one of the largest
massacres in the history of mankind.
As Jung stated:
The change of character brought about by the uprush of collective forces is amazing.
A gentle and reasonable being can be transformed into a maniac or a savage beast.
One is always inclined to lay the blame on external circumstances, but nothing could
explode in us if it had not been there.
End quote.
We still have trouble comprehending this today; probably because we have difficulties accepting
our dark side, and rather see the horrific crimes committed as an evil that isn’t human.
In some religions, they blame outside forces like spirits or the devil.
But if the war breaks out tomorrow: are you certain that you won’t become a monster?
War is an extreme example, I know.
So, let’s get a bit closer to home.
If you think of yourself as a good, or even great person, maybe even some sort of a sage;
a person that can teach others how to live, who radiates goodness, who’s always there
for their loved ones, gives money away to charities, is celebrated by his or her environment
for being such a wonderful person: have you ever entertained the possibility that below
the surface you might actually be an enormous jerk?
That behind the mask, there’s an ugliness that you’ve been hiding for so long, and
you’re not even aware of it?
Or perhaps you are, but you refuse to see it?
Could that be the reason that it seems to take so much effort to be that fantastic person
- day in and day out - and the more you try, the more internal conflict you seem to feel?
Could it be that the priest is actually a control freak?
That the billionaire philanthropist is only doing it for the fame?
And that your favorite spiritual guru is only in it for the money?
Whatever we pursue, and the reasons we tell people why we pursue what we pursue, we most
likely have hidden intentions that we don’t want to look at, and if they come to the surface
we’ll immediately push them back down.
The Germans call these intentions ‘hintergedanken’.
Philosopher Alan Watts spoke about this often.
I quote:
A hintergedanken is a thought way, way, way in the back of your mind.
Something that you know deep down but can’t admit.
End quote.
The thing is that by being aware of our hintergedanken, we see that there’s something inside us
that we do not show to the world, but heavily influences our actions.
Also, by looking close at certain strong judgements about other people, we might identify the
exact things we keep hidden in the shadow.
Carl Jung believed that if we become aware of our shadow, and find a way to integrate
it in our personality, we’re less likely to lose control over it.
Carl Jung calls this process ‘individuation’, which is the reconciliation of all aspects
of our personality, including the darker ones so we become who we truly are.
Thus, to mitigate our dark side we shouldn’t repress it.
What we we should do, is making the unconscious conscious.
The shadow doesn’t always contain negative things.
During the years, you may have repressed certain aspects of yourself like creativity or sexual
interests that society sees as taboo; things that can be addressed only if we acknowledge them.
When we’re brave enough to shed light onto the darkness, and look beyond the persona
that we present to the world everyday, we can begin to work with the shadow, and even
benefit from its power and see the beauty in our imperfections.
As psychologist Marion Woodman said: night is as precious as is day.
Thank you for watching.