The biggest mistake to avoid with a toxic ex! Stick around to the end of this video, as I'll
reveal the single biggest mistake you need to avoid with a toxic EX of any kind! Welcome to The
SCG Show! This video is officially sponsored by BetterHelp, but more on them later in this video!
The following statements are from those who end up going back to a toxic EX = "I don't get how it
happened... I don't understand, it one moment we were broke up, the next we're back together.... Why did this
happen, I thought we were through, yet here I am, I'm so upset... I didn't expect for this to happen..."
What exactly is the biggest mistake to avoid with a toxic EX, especially after perhaps you've
walked away or you've officially split up? Never going no contact! I've got first-hand
experience in this, AKA splitting up with the toxic EX and stupidly never going no contact,
and even though I insisted and said "we're over" somehow in some way I was hoovered back in and
went on to waste more years of my precious life with the wrong person. You'll never be good enough
for the wrong person. What is the no contact rule, the no contact rule is where you don't call, text
or messaging an EX in any way after a breakup. I had a rough idea of that rule at the time, but I did
not do it and therefore I had to punish myself as a result. A breakup with a toxic person is unlike
a separation from a normal healthy partnership, there is no closure, there is no growth, there is no
communication. It can and will typically and abruptly end suddenly, dramatically and may be awfully,
and you the empaths are there hurting broken, trying to heal and recover after
possibly years of abuse, neglect, negativity.... You must go no contact with a toxic EX!
Avoid this and it will only result in one scenario = that is you ending up in a toxic
relationship with them. Over again and over again. Let me explain step by step how this happens =
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Don't forget I've been here I know how the story pans out, and I'm drawing from personal first-hand
experience. Doubt always creeps in after a breakup... even the most hostile and toxic relationships... one
of both people will still feel insecurity and anxiety. They'll say "Am I doing the right thing
here breaking up? Being single is the worst! I still miss them believe it or not... What if I'm
alone for the rest of my life... I can't handle this it's too much...." I split exactly a year into my first
toxic relationship, it was January and I saw too many red flags, and we were arguing too much, and I
was tipped over the edge. "That's it!" I screamed on the phone, as we were arguing and I hung up.
That was it, temporarily. I announced our break up wanted to move on and never see her again...
there were desperate attempts from her to rekindle things, but I ignored it all, and exactly two weeks
after the dust settled, after I was entirely on my own, after I heard no more from her... doubt crept in
At the time I was very young and naive. I had no idea what a narcissist was, and even though I was
in a toxic relationship, I was so confused. "I could have been better" I said to myself
"I should have done things differently... I should have been a better boyfriend... I shouldn't have
said this... I shouldn't have said that... I should have tried this... I should have tried that..." As an empath
I turned the attention all on myself, doubting every move, every decision, everything about me.
Toxic people are like sharks, they can sniff blood from a mile away...
even though we were not talking, even though I was a very private person... the toxic ex could sense the
doubt was happening on my side on my end. Doubt will creep in which is natural in all breakups.
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Once the shark has sniffed the blood, the predator has seen its prey, once the toxic
person can almost telepathically feel the doubt on your end... they're ready to pounce... ready to attack
they're ready to reach out. They may send the following messages either via text, DM, email,
WhatsApp, Etc = "Hey... Hey stranger... Hello you... I miss you.... I still love you... I can't live without you....
I can't get over you...." And amazingly almost by pure coincidence, it just so happens
to be when you are at your most vulnerable, when you are full of doubt, fear and anxiety,
and you see that message... and your heart skips a beat. "It's them" you think... you don't know what to do,
feel almost privileged and lucky that despite your wallowing in self-pity, despite your
catastrophizing in your head... that they still want to talk to you... they still want to contact you...
and in a moment of weakness and perhaps sheer madness you respond back with "Hey..."
which leads to the odd message here and there, the odd phone call, full-on conversation, confessions,
more and more... it snowballs and spirals... almost into some sort of twisted honeymoon period.
"We should meet up" they say "Let's go for a walk in the park? A coffee? You can come to
my place? Whatever you want?" "I think we should you" say in agreement, leading to the next stage...
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Let's recap - after the doubt and insecurity has consumed you, after they've reached out
and foolishly you've responded back after regular chats, that have rekindled some form of contact,
comes meeting up. This could be anywhere, a coffee, shop, a parking lot, a movie theater, a shopping mall,
a house. When this stage happened to me I was ashamed and humiliated to meet up with the toxic
ex, especially since I made a big song and dance about how I was walking away for good and never
going back to all my friends and family. So I kept it a secret... it was winter and what I would do was
drive and collect her and we'd just go to places where we wouldn't be spotted, where no one would
see us together... it was exactly what she wanted, is what I thought was the right thing to do. It began
every couple of days and weeks, then it became once a month, then once a week and several times a week.
I honestly hand on my heart, I have no idea how but I was pretty much seeing this EX full on again...
it was crazy. A toxic person cannot manipulate you good just over the phone or via text etc
They are their most dangerous face to face... they'll look attractive, talk to you differently, slightly
treat you a little bit better and again at your most vulnerable... you'll smile and say "wow they've
really changed! I was stupid to think otherwise. I was dumb to let them go." No you're a fool for
meeting up with them, and so once the meetups are more regular and you're in regular contacts and
seeing them like the old days... comes the final stage... the most dangerous stage of them all...
Yes you are now officially back together from the very toxic person you broke up with or
walked away with from entirely. The same person who abused you, who disrespected you, who took
advantage of you, who hurt you badly, regularly, who wasted your time, who lied to you constantly,
who betrayed you, who cheated on you... it's a gradual process, but hey it does happen,
and when it does eventually you're officially on autopilot. They took you down... defeated you,
took advantage Etc, and got you exactly where they wanted you... back in a relationship or dating again.
It was all a game, a ploy, a plot to get their way and they succeeded. I remember going to a
family event and people saying to me shocked "you two are back together again?!" "Yes" I said, and so by
returning to the toxic relationship comes all the problems again, all the unresolved issues, and the
fake promises they had of changing... but that falls on deaf ears very quickly. Trust me they're going
to be much worse the second time around, nothing will be positive or happy... it is a complete and
utter waste of your time. You'll never be good enough for the wrong person especially a toxic EX
You're better off blocking and going no contact, to avoid going down this awful road like I have
and many others have as well. It's only going to end in more misery and more pain!