That's the question that was posed to us
at The Marriage Foundation. I'm Paul
Friedman, I founded The Marriage
Foundation
and you could take advantage of this
free service we have.
Go to themarriagefoundation.org, click
on "Ask a Counselor" it's free
and there's a lot of
commonly asked questions.
You could look at those. You could look
at our videos. You could read articles
but this particular question
hits at the heart of one of the greatest
misconceptions that's floating around
out there
that is that it takes two to tango in
marriage.
So it takes two to fix your marriage
and it doesn't, it's not true. Now
oftentimes, I use a metaphor
to explain about a bridge. You could
build a bridge.
The other person doesn't have to build a
bridge as long as you have a bridge
you can meet on it but I'm going to go
deeper.
I'm going to hit it from a different
point of view today.
By the way, you should subscribe to this
channel so you could see
how beautiful our philosophy is
about,
how marriage works because
marriage is amazing. And even in your
case
where you're thinking, "My husband doesn't
care,"
you're here your marriage is so fixable.
I mean thousands of people use
our course for women and
most of them are in the same boat you're
in where their husband doesn't care.
So let's take a look at your husband's
point of view just for a minute
first, and let's ask, why doesn't he care?
Well, you know what? Sometimes when
you're trying to do something but you
don't know
how to do it, you give up.
I can attest to that when I wanted to
learn how to play golf.
I had a friend who was a golf instructor.
He said, "Paul, come on out. Hit a few."
I said, "Okay. Man, I could not hit that
ball."
I do have a problem with my eyesight
but finally, I just said,
"You know what, golf is not for me."
I gave up and it was legitimate
because I didn't have the capacity
physically to hit that ball properly.
But in marriage, everyone has the
capacity
to be successful in marriage
but we give up because we don't know how.
We keep trying but we try the wrong
things and let's say that's what your
husband did. Now maybe he
never said to you, "I'm trying this, I'm
trying that,"
maybe you are oblivious to his attempts.
Maybe you were so caught up in your own
attempts that you didn't notice that he
was trying to.
Here's the good news. The good news
is that, and we've proven this over and
over and over again,
that if just you, just the wife
really gets into the right way
to fix her marriage, it won't
just be fixed. You'll have an
extraordinary marriage
because you will learn how to have a
marriage.
All right. Let me give a sexist
example. Sexist because
because I'm old school and women tend to
be the ones in the kitchen who know how
to cook and are interested in it.
So you've never learned how to cook, you
never took a course. Your mom didn't show
you.
You never watched a YouTube video on
cooking and
bam, here's all the ingredients, the flour
the sugar, the honey, the
vanilla. I like to cook by the way, not as
good as my wife though
not even close. And I go here
prepare something, you don't even know
where to begin
but you acknowledge you don't even know
where to begin.
The problem is with marriage is we see
everyone being married
and even though there's a 50% plus
divorce rate,
we'll think, "Well, I can do that because
we watch on TV
all people do, we watch in the movies.
Some of us learn from our parents." Yeah,
right
and the fact is that even the ones who
are supposed to know how to be married
don't. We're living in an evolutionary
time
and honestly, we're on the front of the
wave
with what I've discovered about marriage.
And so people, don't know how to be
married but now you could learn how to
be married
and you're not going to end up cooking a
monstrosity that no one's going to
want to eat because that's what you have
right now. There's two of you
in a marriage, nobody's happy. One of you
has to take the bull by the horns. Both
of you
don't, just you. Trust me on this.
Read our reviews on this. You
learn, you take our course for women and
you will have a marriage
that is unbeatable that is just
delivering what marriage is supposed to
deliver,
happiness and love.
God bless! Thank you! Like this video,