Uhhh - well, listen in.
Because this one is going to be a very, very tough one - and we’re going to have to circumvent
all of the conventional rules of LBQ - as well as utilising the maximum power level
of the English lexicon to even get close to scratching the surface of this particular
SCP in question.
It’s difficult, isn’t it?
But imagine, for a moment - that there was an anomalous creature in existence, of such
incomprehensible mystery - that even uttering it’s name would alert it, triggering its
cosmic awareness, to then travel through the very fabric of time and space - emerge from
a mysterious, anomalous portal - and seize all spoken, or written information relating
to its existence.
Yeah, you can see why this one is going to be difficult.
Hello internet - and welcome back to the most inquisitive channel on YouTube - Life’s
Biggest Questions.
As per usual, I’ll be your disembodied floating voice Jack Finch - as today, we try our utmost
to juggle the acknowledgement of an all-powerful anomalous entity - and curiously attempt to
answer the question, What If SCP-2521 Was Real?
Oh, for crying out loud.
I did it already, didn’t I. *Sigh*
Just roll the clip.
Alright, so - to get around this glaringly obvious problem, we’re going to have to
get a little bit creative.
So instead of outlying the pictographic information that surrounds this particular entity in question,
we’re going to tell you all a little story.
Imagine, if you will, that within the infinite complexities of the multiverse, a creature
was spat forth from the very bowels of cosmic dissonance - a creature that unlike us, wasn’t
bound by the physical laws that dictate our existence - but instead - operated within
its own fluid boundaries of what can, and what cannot be.
Let’s say that this creatures name is -- oh, I don’t know -- Bruce.
Yeah, Bruce will do.
Whenever it was that Bruce came into existence - because, due to his nature, we may never
know - he very quickly and very sadly became a very lonely dude.
You see, because Bruce was bound by a different, special natural law - and there was no other
creature like him, he couldn’t exactly roll over to his buddies house on a random Friday,
park up on his couch and watch reruns of Seinfeld until the earlier hours of the morning.
Instead, he was eternally tasked to float around in the cosmic void of loneliness - emotionally
clawing through stock-footage walls in a desperate effort to grasp the life that he’d never
have.
Like that guy at the end of It’s A Wonderful Life - just without Christmas - and every
day - and even sadder.
But then one day, someone caught a glimpse of Bruce as he listlessly trudged through
the very fabric of our physical plane - and as chance would have it, that person informed
the SCP Foundation of Bruce's existence - and perhaps finally, just maybe, he was one step
closer to being acknowledged for the long arm, gooey producing nice guy that he really
is.
All Bruce wanted was a chance, and it appeared that he may finally have it.
But when the Foundation tasked their researchers to produce a document pertaining to Bruce’s
existence, the first draft produced some very unexpected results.
When the Foundation researcher penned Bruce’s real name onto a document - it somehow, in
his classic anomalous fashion, alerted Bruce that someone, somewhere knew who he was - and
within an alien heartbeat, Bruce floated through the void and appeared right at the Foundation
researchers desk.
Obviously, the researcher was pretty terrified - as you would be - but Bruce was so incredibly
excited that someone knew who he was, that he snatched the piece of paper off of the
researchers desk - and floated back to his void-apartment to pin his new found prize
on his void-like-fridge.
Someone knew who Bruce was, and not only that - they even took the time to write his name
on a piece of paper.
It was perhaps the greatest day of Bruce’s life.
But - it would only get better, because the next day - after recovering from the existential
shock of witnessing an anomalous entity apparating into existence - the Foundation researcher
felt compelled to inform his commanding officer all about the incident.
But when he said his name out loud, Bruce couldn’t quite believe his tendril-like-ears.
Not only had someone written his name down on a piece of paper - but now, someone was
SPEAKING about him.
What a time to be alive - or in Bruce’s case - eternal.
Quicker than a flash, Bruce rematerialised in front of the two researchers, and he was
so overwhelmed with love - that he grabbed the name-spouting researcher with both hands,
wrapped him up in his long, tendril like fingers - and took him away, back to his void-apartment
so that they could be best friends forever.
But - yeah, as you can see.
This quickly proved to be a very, very difficult problem for the Foundation.
Bruce’s excitement aside, because I’m sure that we all want him to be happy - but
the Foundation couldn’t exactly operate to their fullest capacity, whilst maintaining
their directive to Secure Contain and Protect and keep things with a very firm lid on, by
having their researchers and D-Class personnel whisked off to Bruce’s apartment every time
they wanted to make a documented record of his existence.
So, to combat this - the Foundation decided to employ a more tactful, tactical approach.
They very quickly found that Bruce was only alerted to written documents, or a vocalisation
of his name - but they eventually discovered that Bruce was unaware of more covert methods
of documenting information.
Such as morse code - and believe it or not - infographic pictures.
Their solution was apparent, and it was very quickly employed.
We’ve got him.
Just never, ever say Bruce’s name, follow the documented containment procedure - and
everything should be just fine.
As you can see though, we were still left with a problem.
Bruce’s only motivation was that he didn’t want to be lonely, and now - the only people
that knew of his existence had sworn to inform others never to speak or write about him again.
Once again, Bruce was the loneliest dude in existence - and he was very sad.
Well questioneers, if Bruce was real - would YOU want him to be the loneliest dude in existence?
I know I wouldn’t, poor guy ---- What if SCP-2521 Was Real … - well, I guess we’re
about to find out.
*Cattawhumps*
Ahhh - I’m just kidding guys.
I’m back.
Or am I?
Yeah, I’m back really - Bruce is a great guy, we played some foosball and ate some
pizza.
Why don’t you let us know how you’d party with Bruce in the comment section down below,
I’ll be sure to let him know about all the nice things you guys have to say about him.
Before we depart though, we’ve got one very important question that needs to be answered
from our last video.
Ryan Wolyniec says -- You know what’s super weird?
There being two Jack Finchs.
There is a disembodied floating voice and there is one with a person with a body.
He is on the channel called top FIVE scary.
Can someone explain?
--
Well Ryan, I could explain that to you, and I’d firstly like to say that your observational
skills are second to none - but there are some things that the human mind just isn’t
able to comprehend.
If I explained to you how a disembodied floating voice can also be a physical person with a
body - then I fear all of our minds would explode.
So, let’s better left it unsolved, yeah?
Well LBQ fans, unfortunately on that note, that’s all we’ve got time for in today’s
video.
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As per usual, I’ve been your disembodied floating voice Jack Finch - you’ve been
watching Life’s Biggest Questions - and until next time, you take it easy.