(groovy music)
- It's check-in time for our master of disguises!
Wait, has anyone seen Dwayne? (door opens)
- Would you like some chamomile, love?
For your nerves?
- Thank you, Grandma Rose. (slurps)
Wait a minute, Grandma Rose is dead!
Trampled to death 10 black Fridays ago!
- Relax booboo, it's me!
Check-in day realness, bitch.
I mean boss. But also, bitch!
'cause I love you, bitch.
- Twink, (laughs) that was amazing!
And very triggering.
(burlesque music)
- It was my 11 o'clock show
and I was doing something
groundbreaking with my hair.
Red!
All of a sudden, a man in the audience caught my eye.
The first thing I noticed is that he'd covered up some
pretty nasty bruises on his face and neck with makeup,
and let's just say,
he's no me with the concealer (chuckles).
And I saw a metal briefcase cuffed to his wrist,
and tattoos on his chest written in Kazakh.
I'm a little rusty, but I'm pretty sure they said
"Anarchy will grow from the blood of the uninitiated."
But I could be wrong.
- Ariana Grande ought to cause
quite a stir in the abbey.
The gays love me, and I love them!
Shout out to my gay brother Frankie,
who is gay!
- Deb, fire up the Mirrormobile.
- This is gonna blow his freaking-- (gasps)
- Oh Mary, I thought you'd be--
- Twink? Well I'm not Twink.
But I do want to talk to you about Twink.
- I can't believe you made me
spend the whole day with him, he's so ridiculous.
You should fire him.
He's actually the best master of disguises
I've ever met, and I've met Sia.
- Oh please, no one believes his little disguises.
He can put on a skirt and a wig,
but he could never pass for a real spy like us.
- Really?
Funny you should say that,
'cause I've got news for you, Miss Bucky, I--
(old-world music plays) (face pops on)
I don't actually fucking care what you think.
I see it so clearly now, you're just
a French Canadian figment of my imagination.
- What are you talking about?
I'm from Philadelphia.
- Of course you are.
Anyway, it doesn't matter if
Twink's many talents are lost on you,
that's your problem, not his.
You have no right to treat him like shit.
Grow up. That's an order.
- You can't give me orders.
- So funny you should say that,
because I literally (snaps) just did.
- Uh... Okay?
- It is okay.
It's not right, but it's okay.
Thunderpuss remix.
- Today was almost a disaster, but it wasn't!
Thank you, Jackae. (smooches picture)
Cute outfit Twink. - Oh my gosh, thanks!
You too.
Welcome to Twink Air, where the only thing
thinner than the air is me!
Can I offer anyone in inflight magazine?
Jenna Elfman's on the cover!
- The most famous reporter of all time.
Erin Brockovich, from the movie Erin Brockovich.
- I don't think that's what Erin Brockovich is about.
- Ya-huh, Erin Brockovich is a reporter
and then she talked to the people,
and then she wins the movie.
- It's one of my top five favorite movies
about hexavalent chromium.
- Your team's idea of doing surveillance
is dressing up and putting on a little play?
- Have you ever tried putting on a play?
The little ones are the hardest.
- Look, they can't just sit around and do nothing.
- I'm alive! (music sting)
You guys, JK, it's Twink! (giggles)
I'm here to absolutely save the day!
That's called an entrance by the way.
- (sighs) Twink, you almost gave me a heart attack.
Your disguise is excellent as always.
- I told you, this is my time to shine!
Boot me in coach, or whatever the jocks say.
- Thank God for you Drag Queen.
- Thank God for every Drag Queen!
But not actually, obviously.
(communicator beeps) - Hello?
- [Mira] Hi, sexy secret agent!
It's Mira Papadopoulos.
- The princess of Gyernorvya?
- That's what it says on my DUI!
I'm coming to Los Angeles for the weekend, and
call me Kylie Minogue, because
I just can't get you out of my head!
We have to hang.
- Fuck yeah!
It's actually a really good time,
I'm done dominating my colleagues for the day.
Also, I-I miss you.
- Mm, hot!
See you soon bitch.
- The game's afoot.
We'll show Buck that if you mess with Q Force,
there will be repercussions.
He's gonna feel like such an idiot
when the princess stands his ass up.
- Getting stood up is so humiliating.
I assume.
Never experienced it.
- This prank is the most punk thing
I've ever seen you do, Deb.
And that's including the time
I dared you to eat 200 Fig Newtons and you ate 250.
(knocks on door) (door opens)
- Yes?
- Hi, are you the famous Dr. Hammond?
So sorry to distribute you at your home,
but I am just struggling so much with my feet!
- Feet? Uh...
I'm sorry, you'll have to schedule an appointment
with my secretary in the morning.
- Oh please?
My feet are so tiny and beautiful,
they're actually causing me physical pain!
(thrilling music)
Ow, my feet hurt!
Ow! darn! - That doesn't sound good.
I mean, I'm-I'm definitely a podiatrist,
but let me just grab a book or two
to jog my memory about how to fix feet,
- Wait, look!
The Girl Hamburger Mary's float!
WeHo's 29 Sister club.
I can get a vantage point from up there!
Fear not, fellow Drag Queens!
I come in tucked-back penis.
Can I hitch a ride on you guys's float?
Hoo-woo!
Thanks girls!