correct manners this book is huge and it's gilded with gold this is incredible
this makes me seem so professional and so cool when it's on my bookshelf at
home in the living room it makes me seem like I should know my manners and my
etiquette and I definitely don't I definitely do rude things all the time
without even realising so I think it's gonna be really interesting to see what
the correct British way is to introduce yourself British style correct form and
modern manners so let's delve straight into this and see if we can learn
anything today. Doubt it.
hey guys welcome back today's video - I mean my channel is all over the place
isn't it? I've done a fitness video I did about why I shaved my head I've done all
sorts and now this title British manners and etiquette basically I just want to
dump everything that's in my mind onto this channel and the first thing that
came to mind when I was sat down on the sofa going "what shall I film?" was British
manners and etiquette I got this book a while ago
it's the Debrett's handbook for British style correct form and modern manners
basically this is the go-to book if you want to learn everything about how to do
things correctly the British Way so this has all the information about how you
should address the Queen how to write formal letters what you should do if
you're attending a funeral a wedding how you should greet people it's hilarious
it's very traditional and it's by no means correct that's probably going to
trigger a lot of people because I know lots of people out there view there to
be a correct way to do things and I definitely don't think there's any
correct way this is just the formal traditional way but I just think it's
really funny that there are some people that think that this is correct and
everything else isn't and it just baffles me but anyway I thought I'd do a
video on it and we can have a little laugh and learn how to do things the
British way in terms of introductions and manners obviously I thought it was a
little bit boring if I was to tell you the correct way to attend a funeral I
mean if you want to see that let me know in the comments below because I've got
all the info here but to save you from buying the book
let's go through on how you should greet people when you first meet them so the
first thing it says is the hierarchy of introductions and it says respect is
given by whoever's name comes first in the sentence so if I'm introducing a
young person to an older person I would address the older person first and it
gives the example saying Charlotte may I introduce John Brett so it would be
really insulting to introduce like to say the younger person's name first so
to go John this is Charlotte that's a big no-no apparently the people that
command the most respect should be female, older or more distinguished but
what happens if you're a more distinguished male? Then does the female
get introduced first or like which one comes first female or more
distinguished it doesn't say but I thought that was really funny you guys
know that British culture is very class-based it's less class-based now
than it used to be like all of this stuff is very outdated but it is still
very ruled by a class system so yeah introducing someone of lower esteem
first is seen as incorrect. This is interesting so it says if you are in a
purely social environment you must never give out your business card upon meeting
someone only when you're saying goodbye and even then that's only if you've
established rapport with the person so it's a big no-no to meet someone give
them your card straight away in a purely social situation which I thought was
strange because I've never heard sort of business card etiquette I'm really bad
at giving out business cards and introducing myself in a professional
manner I prefer to like make friends with someone and also I feel like
business cards are really outdated now no one does it anymore, like it
seems to be only the older generation I think its another thing that's gonna die
out maybe because it's just a faff to carry them also waste it's just like
who keeps business cards you get it you chuck it away so yeah I don't know I
don't know look at this shadow this is not good lighting. This is very British
so it says about if you forget names it says if you dry up and suddenly cannot
remember someones name and you're with two people who are
clearly expecting you to make an introduction the best thing to do is act
swiftly and blame yourself perhaps making a charmingly self-deprecating
remark about your failing memory. That couldn't be more British if you tried it's
telling you to be self-deprecating so if anyone out there is wondering why Brits
are so self-deprecating like oh my gosh I'm so stupid I'm so this oh my gosh so
sorry it's because that's the correct way to do things we're taught from such
a young age to be self-deprecating even if it's in a funny or charming way and
it puts those two in the same sentence charmingly self-deprecating so we're
taught that to be self-deprecating is really charming so yeah maybe that's
where it comes from whereas Americans i feel are less
self-deprecating they would never be taught to be self-deprecating they'd be
like if an American forgot a name would they blame themselves and go oh my gosh i'm
so stupid, sorry my memory is terrible what is your name I feel like
an American would just go I'm really sorry I forgot your name what is it like
I feel like they'd be more direct whereas Brits are like blame yourself
make yourself sort of lower than the other person and be like I'm so sorry my
memory is terrible it also says about making introductions saying in days gone
by when people moved in smaller social circles it was considered rude to make
introductions as it could imply a person was an outsider so I get questions all
the time about Brits saying why don't you talk to strangers
why don't you introduce yourself maybe it comes from these old old old rule
books that are basically saying that you shouldn't introduce yourself to someone
because it makes you look like an outsider and you don't know what's what
so basically it's better to pretend that you know exactly who everyone is you
don't need to introduce yourself you just pretend and fight your way through
it that doesn't make any sense but maybe that's the British Way but it does say
that nowadays it's perfectly acceptable for you to introduce yourself and it
says it's an essential skill as well in the business world or professional world
it says that introductions are usually followed by a handshake and the words
"how do you do?" to which the response should be "how do you do?" that's so funny
I've never met a Brit that's said how do you do and in response you go how do you
do it's no wonder people make fun of
British culture because it's so formal how do you do how do you do with younger
people and in more informal settings you may prefer hello or even hi. well thanks
for teaching us how to say hi to someone but resist adding pleased to meet you
that's interesting why? it doesn't say why, why shouldn't you say pleased to
meet you? that's really weird and then it says
never assume how do you do means how are you
if genuinely asked how you are the answer is very well thank you
how are you do not give a true account of your state of health. I love this
so much firstly firstly because I think the modern-day version of how do you do
is alright and Americans all the time say what does alright mean are you
asking if I am alright do I say yeah I'm good and the answer is no you just go
alright, you just respond alright alright like that's it and it's the same
with how do you do and secondly the correct answer is very well thank you
not good loads of young people respond with good and I do myself as well but I
was taught at RADA that you must never say good it's very well not good don't
know why someone tell me in the comments below and I love that it says do not
give a true account of your state of health I know too many people that when
you ask them like how are you they go into a massive spiel about their life
and how they you know they're terrible right now and I'm like woah you're just
supposed to say I'm fine thank you or very well thank you and move on unless
you're really close friends and then you can just spill the beans
it says here about shaking hands that offering to shake hands is never rude
whereas not offering your hand may be seen as standoffish that's what I do I
never offer my hand to shake someone's maybe because I have sweaty palms my palms
are so sweaty and clammy I get so embarrassed if someone wants to shake my
hand so more often than not I'll make my hands busy doing something else when I
meet someone so if you see me and you want to shake my hand and I don't extend
my hand it's because I'm embarrassed because they're sweaty sometimes I just
have to suck it up and do it but it's just gross and I just feel so
embarrassed I need Botox in my hands apparently that
gets rid of it anyway I'm gonna stop for the moment because my camera battery
is flashing it's about to die let me know if you enjoyed this video I mean
it's quite a short one but I thought it's a really interesting subject and
I've read this myself but I haven't ever sort of talked about it or made a
video about it and I thought you guys might be interested so let me know if
you want to hear more from the Debrett's handbook because I can delve into it a
bit more and do a longer video next time but this is just to test the waters
see how you feel come back next time I post videos every single week click the
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guys thanks for joining sorry about my messy room i still need
to sort it out see you soon, bye!