Howdy partner!
We've got another rootin’-tootin’ Halloween video for y'all!
Flip my tits and call me Tootie.
Son of a biscuit bullfrog!
I don't know, I'm from Silicon Valley.
This video is dedicated to one of my patrons from over on Patreon.
Lorena Fraser, who is a sparkling gem of a human being, as well as a kickin’ cowgirl.
Yee-ha!
I'm bad at this.
Lorena wanted to know a bit more about writing with mental illness, and this is something
I get asked about a lot.
Specifically how to navigate the writing process if you suffer from depression or anxiety.
If this is a problem you have then you've come to the right place.
I just so happened to be diagnosed with both depression and anxiety.
Cuz I'm that lucky.
On top of that today is World Mental Health Day, so it seems like a perfect time to tackle this issue.
I'm answering the most common questions I receive about writing while dealing with mental illness.
Before we get started, please in mind, I am not a doctor.
I am just one person with a whole massive mental illness shedding light based on my
personal experiences.
If you are feeling extremely depressed or suicidal, please call 911 or whatever emergency
number is available in your country.
There are also suicide hotlines available to you. Take advantage of them. You are not alone.
And please keep in mind that mental illness is a legitimate health issue that should be
taken seriously.
Which means consulting a professional.
I am NOT a professional. I'm an author dressed as a cowgirl, and this video does NOT serve
as a replacement for seeking help.
On to the questions.
“How do you experience depression and anxiety?”
A lot of people think depression is sadness, like being upset over a breakup or a bad grade.
But it's not.
Depression can be linked to feelings of dejection, it can also be linked to feelings of inadequacy or guilt
And oftentimes, there's no explanation for it.
You're just feeling this way for no apparent reason.
When I'm depressed.
I basically feel useless. I have no energy, I can't sleep, I'm lethargic as fuck, my body
feels like it weighs a thousand pounds.
And it takes every ounce of strength just for me to get out of bed.
And I don't really feel sad, I just kind of feel like: what's the point, nothing I do matters.
As for anxiety.
It's almost the exact opposite feeling.
I'm so filled with energy that I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of explosion.
My chest gets very tight, my breathing becomes labored, and I am generating so many thoughts
that I struggle to concentrate on anything because there's just so much noise in my brain.
Please keep in mind that mental illness is different for everyone.
What I just described may not be someone else's experience, but that doesn't delegitimize it in any way.
“How do you handle your depression and anxiety?”
I medicate.
There tends to be a stigma not only around mental illness, but also around treating mental illness.
And I don't get it.
If you have a cold or an infection, you treat it, don't you?
Mental illness is the same.
It's an illness, and if you wanna get better, you have to do something about it.
Sometimes the answer is therapy.
Sit down with a licensed professional and talk about your issue.
I have undergone both in person as well as online therapy through Better Help, and I've had amazing results.
As for those scary pills we all hear horror stories about, I take those too.
I've been taking a low dose antidepressant for a couple of years now, and I can't even
begin to explain how much it has improved my life.
I went from having an anxiety attack at least once a week, to having an anxiety attack maybe once a year.
As far as side effects go, I have trippy dreams, that's it.
But I also had trippy dreams before I was medicated, due to my depression.
Now my dreams are less horrific and mostly just very detailed, and very odd.
Like the time I dreamt about a a mermaid kingdom, that was fun.
And no, meds did not change my personality, they just made me functional, which I appreciate.
People love to talk shit about meds, but honestly they've been life changing for me in the best way.
“Doesn't medication stunt creativity?”
There's this misconception that creatives must suffer for their art.
And not only is this a pile of shit, it's extremely unhealthy.
Yes, a lot of artists suffer from mental illness, but if you track the progress of some of the
greatest creators of all time, you'll see that some of their most acclaimed pieces were
created while they were in treatment.
Creativity and depression do not need to go hand in hand.
I put off getting medicated for years because I was so afraid that I wouldn't be able to write anymore.
But now that I am medicated, I'm way more creative than I was back when I was anxious and depressed.
I have so much more energy! Energy that I can use to write as opposed to, oh, I don't know,
contemplating the futility of my existence.
My mind is also clearer, which makes room for stories as opposed to morbid musings of my death.
Depression and anxiety did not make me a better writer, they made me unproductive and miserable.
I'm creative because of who I am as a person.
I don't need mental illness to unlock that.
“What if I can't afford therapy or don't have time for it?”
First of all, if you don't have time for it, I implore you to consider that your health
is far more important than whatever the fuck you got going on.
That said, I myself don't have time for regular therapy appointments, so I'm a big fat hypocrite.
Second, if you can't afford therapy, I hear you, it's super expensive, and oftentimes
it's not covered by insurance.
If you're struggling with either of these issues, I recommend betterhelp.com which is
a private online counseling service that I personally use.
Their counselors are fully licensed.
They're LGBTQ+ friendly. You can request a religious counselor. You can request a non-religious
counselor. You can get couples counseling—whatever.
Right when you join they'll have you take a quick survey that will help them match you
to a counselor who's best suited for your needs.
Speaking exclusively from personal experience, I had great results with in person counseling.
However, I don't particularly like talking to people face to face because I'm an awkward
recluse who hates people.
Better Help gives you options for video appointments, phone appointments, or just messaging a counselor
back and forth.
I chose the latter option, because it was the most convenient for me.
You can also change your counselor if you're not vibing with the person they selected for you.
However, I really love the counselor they picked for me, like a lot!
When I first signed up I was going through a really hard time.
Cliff’s neuropathy was intense, I was super overwhelmed, and she gave me so many great
tools for handling my anxiety.
She listened to me bitch, she listened to me vent, she's a goddamn angel.
Obviously it's definitely preferred that you meet with a professional in person, and if
you need medication, that's something you'll have to schedule with a doctor.
That said, if you're like me and you want to address your mental health while still
managing a tight schedule, this is a great option.
Plus if you can't yet afford an in person counselor, Better Help is pretty damn cheap in comparison.
A single session with an in person therapist can be $150 to $250, but at Better Help it's
as low as $35, depending on the session.
I've got a link to them listed below.
If this sounds like something that would benefit you, definitely check them out.
I use them, and I like 'em.
“What if my doctor or therapist is a dick?”
At some point you might bite the bullet and seek out professional help, and you may end
up meeting with someone who's an absolute piece of shit.
I’m speaking from experience.
I once met with a psychiatrist, and he was the worst.
He was dismissive, he was condescending, at one point he even laughed at me.
It was everything I had feared going into the appointment.
I felt so humiliated, and I even considered not going back into treatment ever again.
But a couple of months later, I mustered up the courage and made an appointment with someone else.
And this new person was the complete polar opposite of the douche-magoo I had seen before.
The point I'm making is you may take the plunge and get burned, it happens.
That doesn't mean you should stop your path toward wellness.
People are flawed, and there's a chance that the person you meet with might not be a good
fit for you, or won't be specialized in your issue, or maybe they're just an asshole.
But there are good doctors and counselors out there.
And it may take a few tries before finding the right one.
“How do you write or accomplish anything during a depressive episode?”
Keep in mind that the advice I'm about to give is on top of seeing a counselor or getting medicated.
None of this serves as a replacement for seeking professional help.
That said, if I'm depressed the first thing I do is acknowledge that yes,
I am in fact depressed. This is happening.
Second, I remind myself that nothing bad is going on.
The world is not ending, my brain is just being a fuck weasel and it will pass.
This is comforting for me because quite often depression feels like an endless pit of despair,
and reminding myself that this is not the case and it will go away in time, takes some of the pressure off.
After that and just try. I try to get out of bed, I try to wash my face, I try to write.
While I'm doing this I'm as easy on myself as possible, because everything feels a million
times harder to do when you're depressed.
There's a chance that I'll only be able to write one paragraph, and if that's the case, so be it.
It's hard to write when you got the flu, right?
This is the same thing!
Writing when you feel like shit is tough.
“How do you write or accomplish anything during an anxious episode?”
For me anxiety is a bitch to navigate, because my brain is so filled with noise that I just can't concentrate.
That said, I do find it helpful to create a list of techniques that help calm me down.
These techniques will vary from from person to person.
Not everyone is calmed by the same stuff.
For example, I really like the feeling of fingertips lightly grazing my skin.
So if I'm feeling anxious Cliff usually offers to scratch my back.
I also learned some amazing mindful breathing exercises from my Better Help counselor.
The breathing exercise that I've had the most success with is the four-seven-eight-method:
which is where you breathe in through your nose for four seconds, you hold it for seven
seconds, and then you breathe out through your mouth for eight seconds.
If this is something you wanna try out, please be sure to research it first because believe
it or not, breathing is complicated and you don't wanna mess it up.
“Isn’t mental illness all in your head?”
Yes, it is.
Just like asthma is all in my lungs.
And neuropathy is all in Cliff’s spine.
Mental illness is an illness, it exists in the brain.
The brain is an organ, and a complicated one at that.
When I have a depressive episode, I know that the way I'm feeling is all because of my fucked up brain
But that doesn't change the fact that I'm experiencing significant debilitating symptoms.
When you get sick you know that it's just a virus that's making you feel that way.
But you don't sit there and say, "Oh it's all in the virus. No big deal."
You treat it.
So anytime someone tells you that your mental illness is all in your head, just say to them:
"No shit, dumbass!" That's literally the definition of an illness. It exists in the body or mind.
“My partner has mental illness. How can I properly support them?”
For this question, we're gonna mosey on over to our Cliff notes segment.
(Cliff) Dun-da-da-dun.Da-da-dun Da-da dun Dun-da-da-dun. (Jenna) It's between your legs—what are you doing?
All right Cliff, from your expertise, how does one behave as a good partner to someone who has mental illness?
(Cliff) As a cowboy, first of all, don't be a dick.
Number two, don't be an asshole either.
Nobody likes dicks or assholes.
(Jenna) That's not true.
(Cliff) But on a serious note, just because you can't see what they're going through, doesn't men it isn't real.
The most important thing to do is just try and listen.
Try to put yourself in their shoes, try and understand what's going on.
And don't be too quick to jump to conclusions.
Also make sure to educate yourself, it's important.
(Jenna) Yeah, I mean, if you don't know anything about mental illness, look it up.
Do some research.
There's tons of stuff online.
Educate yourself so that you know what this person is going through.
And I think it's also important to keep in mind that you are not this person’s therapist.
You're not here to fix the person.
That's a ton of pressure.
(Cliff) Mm-hmm. (Jenna) That's like way too much pressure to put on your partner.
You're just there to support, you are there to be their best friend.
And you should be empathetic to their problems, but you don't need to fix them.
And I think the last important point to remember is, take care of YOU, okay.
Take care of Cliff.
(Cliff) Yes.
(Jenna) Horse kisses!
Just because your person suffers from mental illness, does not mean that they have a free
pass to treat you like shit.
Our relationship does not revolve around me and my problems.
It's about both of us.
And that was this video’s cliff note segment.
Get it?
Cuz his name is Cliff, and it's a writing channel.
We're clever. So that's all I got for you today!
If you struggle with mental illness, you're not alone.
I'm right there with you, along with a billion other people.
It's not easy to write a book when your brain is rebelling against you.
It's not easy to do anything when your brain is rebelling against you.
But there are definitely steps that you can take to make things a little bit easier for yourself.
Talk to a professional, consider medication or therapy if you're able, and if your schedule
is a mess or your finances are tight, I definitely recommend Better Help.
They're what I use, I got ‘em linked below.
A huge thank you to Lorena for requesting this topic, it was a great one.
If you'd like the chance to have a video dedicated to you, or if you want access to tons of other
rewards, check me out on Patreon.
You can gain access to my exclusive writing group over on Discord.
You can see all of my videos early, you can participate in a monthly live stream with me.
You got tons of options!
Check it out, it's linked below.
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The Savior's Champion is available in ebook and hardback, as well as signed hardback.
I've got a bazillion links listed below.
This guy is available everywhere, so you have no excuse.
You should buy the book, you should read the book, and you'll love the book.
And be sure to follow me on social media. I'm on Instagram, Tumblr, Facebook.
And of course you can tweet me @JennaMoreci! Bye!
(Cliff) Dun-dun-dun-dun-da-da. Dun-dun-dun-dun-da-da. (Jenna laughing) Oh Cliff! (Jenna laughing)
(Cliff) Cobwebs caught it. (Jenna laughing) (Cliff) Cobwebs caught it!
(Jenna laughing) (Cliff) Looks like I need some more practice on my horsey.