Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier, and welcome to Jump Doper™.
Now, this isn't your average game of jump rope.
I know you've got scores and bookshelves full of jump rope style simulator games on your gaming bookshelf.
But NO.
This one's different.
For it is DEADLY.
And BLOODY!
And if you don't jump correc- I-I can't- WHY CAN'T I JUMP?!
I was pushing the button...
And then I DIED!
But that's this game.
It's the most intense.
You can go just shove all those games you got on your shelf into the TRASH bin.
Cause it's not the same as thiiis... and I can- again, with the NOT LETTING ME JUMP!!!
Ah! Ohhhh! Heyyy! OH GOD!
I'm so... AAHAA! OOHOO!
WHOA!
OH MY GOD!
LEAVE ME ALONE!
Ow :(
i'm ded
That's a bloody cactus....
It doesn't wanna jump correctly all the time.
Oh f-.... frick... oh my GOD!
oh... fuck...
That is... that is a ROUGH way to go.
Okay, let's see if I can change characters.
Oh no! Is that the only character I have?
okay :(
Ha. Ho. Hee. Ho. Ah, can't jump. There we go.
Oh. [slice] Ow. Ow. Oho. Ohohohohohoooo....
There's no winning in Jump Doper™!
There's no WAY I can win-wan!
Cause it- OH my god.
It... it doesn't let you jump until-
WHOAHOHOHOHOHOOOO MY GOHOHOHOOOOD
It doesn't let you jump until you're already...
Landed... perfectly softly down on the-
Oh my GOD ohmygod ohmygod
AAAH
AAAAAAAAH!
Ho!
Heeheeheeheeee...
Oh my god it's so hard ;-;
Ih! Eugh! Guhhh! Goo!
Goo! (x2)
Goo! (x3)
Goo! (x4)
GO! I think I got it!
The winning strategem!
OH MY GOD! I'm the BEST!
Oh my god
Oh my god (x2)
Oh my god (x3)
It's getting faster!
It's getting faster?
Or is it? I can't tell.
oh.... ohahh... ohhAHHH it is!
It is getting faster! Oh my god.
Oh my god. (x2)
Oh my god... (x3)
Oh my god... (x4)
[incoherent yelling]
FUCK ME, MAN!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?! Oh... fuck....
CCCCAAAARRRR unlocked?
CAAAAAR?
My CAR's unlocked guys, I gotta go!
I gotta get OUTTA here man!
Peace guys!
Suhhhhhhhh doooood
Like my joke? You like my funny jokes? My jokes are funny, guys.
OhHOOOOOO that's a good car
Huhhhh [chop]
Ohhhhohoh... fuck... that's not a good car....
That car DIED!
Really quickly!
Guh.
Goo. Okay.
Whoo. Guh. Goier.
A little too GIRTHY for this ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I don't like using the term "GIRTHY for this" because... I don't wanna imagine anything I don't want getting sliced apart getting sliced apart in here.
Ow my butt.
My delicious car butt.
Oh yeah, THAT'S the way you wanna stand...
Oh god no....
I gunna make it. Immuna make it. I'm gonna get the high score.
Nyeh (joey?)
Uh
[blubbering]
OHHH god
uh eh eh ah ih oh ah
OHHHHH D:
I've been BISECTED!
Nice and easy. I could use- I could use a little off the top, I don't need all that.
I'm gonna try to unlock at least one more character before I fall to pieces around here.
uh... oh god i'm not as nimble as i would like...
YEE! (2)
How did they make this? Is it like a light- [dies]
i d i d n t j u m p . . . ; - ;
[liek if u cri evrytim]
[random sound] (x32)
Oh god getting fast
[more random sounds]
ow... OHHH WHY
MY ASS D:
STOP SHAVING MY ASS ;-;
thank you
[Alvinplier makes some more sounds]
WHY?!
WHIM-WHAM WHY?!
[alliterateplier]
WAFFLE-FRIES
Uh oh... (x8)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU DIIIIIDN'T JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMP
I gotta like- like, the trick that I'm doing to get this is I'm pressing as many buttons as possible every time I need to jump.
That's the only way that I can like, almost predictably get it to jump.
Because this is rigoddamndiculous.
I hate you. (x5)
No. Stop. Jiggling. [more sounds]
That's fun. This is great.
Great. (x4)
That's- why did you do that?
Why? (x4)
Why that way? (x2)
NO you're just gonna get yourself kilt!
No-
(sounds)
Yes! Breakdance! :D
Breakdance baby!
Okay- Now lie flat- yeah, that's-
AAAHH This is not good
ooOOOOHHH My gawd
Oh my god (x7)
Oh- (SLICE)
NNNNNNNOOOOOO
Whyyyy
You fucking ASSHOOOOLLLLE
(sigh) ONE more try. If this doesn't work, it's not gonna work.
Ever.
Oh mah gawd (x2)
(Words are not happening)
Oh yes (x6)
I can't- see it-
I CAN'T- SEE IT-
IT'S
THE WRONG DIRECTION FOR THIS
GOD, I GOT IT- SO- GOOD
YES- PLEASE- NO- GOD
OH- DON'T. STOP. ME. NOW!
I'M. NOT. DEAD. YET!
There I go...
(sigh)
I unlocked the bottle...(x2)
Oh GOOD
Okay, that's gonna work (hopefully)
Let's just-
Let's just do this, am I gonna SPEW liquid out the top of me once I get sliced?
Nooope
I don't- I don't, but at least I'm a smaller target.
Oooohhh fuck, here I go again
With the BOTTLE
(sounds)
Can't see, again!
Just gotta like-
It's- when it goes this direction, I can't see ANYTHING
So I gotta go by pure instinct ALONE!
Oh god! Bottle gonna die! Bottle gonna diiieee...
Bottle- gonna- die- flippin- like- crazy!
Oh my GOD! You are outta your- goddamn- mind!
IF YOU THINK THAT I AM BAD AT THIS
Okay- here we go!
How- OOOkay
There we are!
I'M- NOT- GONNA- MAKE IT (slice)
Oh GAWD!
Urrghh...
I didn't unlock ANYTHING?
Alright, FINE- that's enough of that.
That's my score! And that's what you guys gotta try to beeeaaat!
So I'm gonna leave it at that so
WITH THE OMINOUS BLADES OF WHIPPING AND WHAPPING OVER IN THE DISTANCE THERE
Thank you everybody so much for watching and let me know how I did in the comments down below!
And let me know if you can beat my highscore...
As well, I put a link for the game in the description
So thanks again everybody for watching!
And as always, I will see you...
IN THE NEXT VIDEO!
Buh-bye!