Hi there, it's Kati again, thanks for checking back.
Today's topic is something that can sound a little grim.
A little.. ugh...
But, I want us to have a lot of fun with it,
because it's a topic that people can really think badly about,
okay, we're on the edge of our seats, or maybe not, but, what are we talking about?
I'm talking about anger.
You're thinking, "ugh, that's uncomfortable, nobody likes to feel angry."
Ugh, you know that feeling? It starts in your stomach,
works its way up till you... ugh..
You swallow hard, right? We clench our fists, we tighten,
maybe grind our teeth, tighten our jaws.
That horrible feeling, right? That's why usually, we run away.
Bah! I don't wanna feel it, I don't wanna deal with it,
I don't wanna confront that person,
I don't wanna talk about it, I'm just gonna swallow hard,
I'm gonna push it down, and gonna hope for the best.
That they never bring it up again. And if they do? Boof! We explode.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" Blah blah, we just lose it.
For the smallest thing. It could be,
I'm in the car with my mom, "Hey mom, I'm almost out of shampoo,
can we swing by the store?" "Honey, we don't really have time."
"YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT ME, YOU NEVER PUT ME FIRST!"
We lose it.
Right? And your mom's thinking, "... what the heck?"
So that's why we're talking about it.
Still not quite understanding?
We're talking about anger because the sooner we can get a little more
comfortable being angry, the sooner we will be able to deal with it, cope with it
instead of pushing it down and exploding later.
Does that make sense?
Hopefully it does. So how are we gonna do it?
Well the first thing that I'd like to do, and this is where it gets a little fun, for me,
hopefully for you as well but maybe not,
is we're gonna get into kind of a craft project of sorts.
Now this can be really helpful for some people, and it
can be really difficult for others, so be patient with yourself, it's okay,
we're gonna grab some paper. Whether it's construction paper, printer paper,
whatever you have on hand, you don't have to run to the craft store or Target
or anything and get a bunch of, you know, "craft" stuff,
but just take what you have.
So we're gonna grab a piece of paper,
we're gonna take a red... usually crayons are probably the easiest,
and the ones that I usually use the most when I'm doing this, a red crayon,
and you peel back the paper a bit, really get ready, and we're gonna colour
that entire paper red. And I don't mean just colour like, "la di da", I mean color like,
angrily colour. We're gonna really colour it. Alright?
We're mad. We're getting mad.
We're expressing anger. That's what the whole sheet is gonna be about.
Okay, so the paper's all red, right?
Now, grab a magazine, grab a pen or marker,
write words that make you angry, things that have happened,
maybe people who make you angry, cut out clippings of things that are frustrating,
things that you find make you angry at yourself,
that's kinda what we're trying to get at.
Usually an Eating Disorder is anger, that should be put out,
is actually directed in.
Does that make sense? So instead of me telling my brother,
"You hurt my feelings, all through growing up you called me 'Fatso' and you told me that
I was no good and that I'm a retard, and you said all those hurtful things."
Instead of saying that to somebody,
we're directing it in on ourselves.
And saying, "yeah, I am that. That's true. I'm not worthy."
"I'm a bad person. I'm a horrible human being."
We say all these bad things, right?
When actually the anger needs to be put out. Does that make sense?
Okay, so why are we making this weird, ugly collage?
Well, by putting things down and doing it through art, it can be an easy way to
begin to get comfortable with that feeling of anger.
That's kind of why I start with the crayon and all that roughly colouring,
because just that expression, thinking about things that have made you angry
and exerting it that way, can be one healthy way of getting rid of the anger
if we're not ready to confront someone. Okay?
That's one thing we can do.
Art is a great way to express an emotion without having to tell anybody about it.
I have some clients who have whole workbooks filled with different collages
about fear, shame, anger, guilt, whatever they feel gives them that emotion,
they're expressing it, and it can kind of help, it's kind of cathartic to help you get it out there,
right? So that's one way. Another way,
I would say physical activity, but I don't mean it in the way that your Eating Disorder
thinks I mean it. I mean it in the way of, exerting that feeling.
So sometimes you can take like, a basketball, and you bounce it against the wall.
I'm just standing here, and I'm bouncing it against the wall. I can bounce it...
Hopefully, you're outside, and it's a cement wall, I should preface this,
so your mom, your dad, your whoever, dorm-mates don't get mad at me: Go outside.
Throw a ball around. There's something about just that feeling of releasing the anger,
can make us feel so much better. I used to do that when I was stressed out in college,
I had a tennis racket, I used to hit this ball,
and just hit it from the ground to the wall, back to me, ground to the wall, back to me,
you know what I'm talking about? Over and over and over, til I felt some relief.
So that's an option.
Another safe option, especially if you live at home,
and you don't really have anywhere you can go, and they're gonna wonder
why you're outside kicking a ball around like a crazy person, grab a pillow.
You can scream in a pillow, squeeze a pillow, throw a pillow safely without hurting anything,
a lot of people have little stuffed animals there are a lot of ways to
exert that feeling, that anger. Does that help a little bit?
Even writing angry journal entries, you can listen to angry music,
really loud on your headphones, really get in the mood.
Write a nasty letter to somebody who hurt you.
"You son of a gun. I can't believe you did this. What the heck were you thinking.
You're such a terrible person."
Whatever. Right? Go on and on. Go crazy. Put as much information as you want.
Because the more comfortable we get feeling the anger for a little bit and expressing it,
the closer we're getting to actually talking to someone about something that hurt us.
A confrontation. I know that word just makes people cringe.
"I don't like that. I'd rather run away. Ah! Run away!" My friends and I
used to joke about that. "Run away! I don't wanna deal with it!"
But that's why we start turning it inward. Instead of confronting a person for
something they said, we believe what they said. And that's almost worse.
Don't you think? So give these few things a try.
One, the collaging. The scribbling with the markers, the crayons, right? That's one way.
Second way, like bouncing the ball, exerting the energy,
And that way: I don't mean run. I don't mean exercise.
I'm talking about anger distribution. Right? Throwing a ball, hitting with a
tennis racket, things like that, screaming into a pillow, is another option,
throwing a stuffed animal, and listening to angry music. So there's quite a few options
that you can do. So that we can start to feel a little okay with that angry feeling.
Right? It's okay to have anger, people do things that are hurtful,
and usually our first reaction to protect ourselves is anger.
So, our body's response is normal. It's okay to feel angry.
But we need to find a way to do it constructively, so this is just the beginning.
I hope that's clear.
And like I always say, don't forget to subscribe to my channel.
So as we go over this more, and I give you other tips and ways and places and things
you can do to deal with different emotions, you'll hear about it right away.
And also don't forget to comment below.
"Hey that really helped, I tried that, and that really made it better", or
"Hey that didn't work at all, do you have anything else? I've tried all of them
and I'm still just steaming with anger." Right? Let me know. I love the feedback.
And don't forget to follow me on Twitter, or check out my website, www.katimorton.com,
cause they're great, healthy communities to post information & journal & maybe vent.
"I was really angry today, I got doing this, and blah!" Right? I'd love to hear about it.
So we can continue creating an environment of support towards recovery.
So keep checking back, and keep working with me,
as we work towards a healthy mind, and a healthy body.
Subtitles by the Amara.org community