I'd say one of the most common questions I get is... where do you approach women?
I know I've covered this topic before on the podcast, on my YouTube channel,
on TikTok – I've talked about this. But I think it really... and I'm sure I'll talk about it again,
but it really begs to be talked about a few times because I think guys should understand
where to approach women. And I don't mean a specific place like you need to go to
a yoga studio or the cute girls at your gym or make sure you go to a raging club.
Forget about the specificity of the type of place it is and I would focus on quantity... quantity.
What does this mean? Quantity means you need to be thinking about where are the places where you
can do a lot of approaches? Volume is the most important thing. Right now in 2021 and 2022
and even if you're listening to this in the year 2030, I'm sure it's not going to have changed...
the name of the game is volume. You need to be approaching a lot of women. If you're doing
online dating, you need to be swiping on a lot of women. You need to do a lot of volume, for
the reasons that there is a lot of competition out there. A lot of people are doing a lot of dating
and have a lot of opportunities to meet a lot of people. You need to be doing the same thing. Also,
with your 3 non-negotiables, you need to be making sure that you're finding a girl who's good for you
and what you want, whether it be casual or a serious relationship, you need to be finding
a woman who wants the same things that you do and is on the same path as you and just whatever the
non-negotiables are. And it might not be easy to find that if you're talking to two women a month.
The odds are you will not find a person who's going to meet your non-negotiables
or someone who's going to be good for what you're looking for dating wise if your volume
is low. That's my argument, so to speak, for high volume. That means that you need to go to places
that have high volume. You might think off the top of your head, "you know, there's that one coffee
shop where there's always one or two cute girls, I need to go there and do that." That's fine.
If you want to do that, that's fine. But I also think that a coffee shop might be a tough place
to get a lot of volume. You're probably only going to get one approach out of a coffee shop. Because
when you go there, you can't just go around and talk to every single girl and hit on them. That's
going to be strange, it's not going to work that well. You got maybe one, maybe two approaches out
of a coffee shop. Maybe that's not the best place. Now again, you might live in, I don't know, Europe
or Asia where sometimes some of those coffee shops are very big. There's even Starbucks in some major
cities that are very big. Well, that's a different story. Starbucks connected to a Barnes and Noble,
if that's even still around, then maybe there's more approaches there. But again,
I'm not trying to tell you specific places, more so think about the places where you can do
(and here's the tip today. Here's the rule to follow) where you can do a minimum of 5
approaches. If there's a place you know that you want to meet women, or you want to practice the
art of approaching and meeting women in person, and you think of a place to go to, if the number
in your head is, there's probably not going to be more than 5 women to approach there,
it's not going to be a good place. I want to be careful when I say this too.
I'm not saying you should never approach at a coffee shop, or a yoga studio, or a place
where there's only a few approaches. That's fine. All the approaching that you're doing and all the
approaching that I'm trying to coach you through here on this podcast and in the coaching program
as well prepares you for those moments. The idea is get a lot of volume so you can get
really good at approaching so in that moment when you're going to the coffee shop or going to yoga,
going to the gym, or going wherever and you see that one girl that's really cute, you're going
to be prepared and know how to do it. But a lot of guys start off with major approach anxiety,
or maybe they don't have approach anxiety at all, they just don't know how to flirt and
be charismatic and talk to women, you're not going to have those skill sets. You need to
start out with a lot of volume. That's why you need to be thinking of the places where
there are a lot of women that you can talk to. Now be reasonable here. You might say, well,
I could go to a Target or Whole Foods, but I never really see that many cute girls there. Well, okay.
But you do know that when you go there, there's going to be a minimum of 5 approaches. Where can
you go where the opportunity can present more than 5 approaches? We'll go over a couple of examples.
That might be a department store, Target, Whole Foods, a grocery store, a shopping mall. It
could be a downtown area or a park where people are walking around. More than 5 opportunities
because you don't want to be bouncing around to six different coffee shops to get one approach.
You want to try to be efficient with your time. If you're spending, let's say an hour or two hours a
week on doing approaches, where are those places that you can go where you can get that volume
so you're not walking around.... again, if you have really bad approach anxiety and you go to
a place and there's only one person to approach because it's a low volume place and your approach
anxiety gets the best of you and you don't do it, then you're totally screwed. Now you have zero
because you got to count for that. Sometimes you're going to go to places and you're going
to get in your head and you're going to skip a couple of approaches and that's normal.
You need to be in a place where there are more opportunities to present itself for you to be
able to do that approach. That's what I want you to think. Where are the places in your town?
Some of you might be like, I live in a small town, what am I supposed to do? The answer that I give
guys (especially in the coaching program, guys who I coach who live in small towns) the answer is,
what is the nearest town? And I would say, anywhere from about 30 minutes to an hour away,
I think you have the time to get in your car and drive if it calls for it. What's that nearest town
that has a bigger population where you can get that volume, where you have that opportunity.
If you live in a suburb, maybe you're going to have to drive down to the city. I used to live
in LA and I remember I had to drive all the way to Hollywood because for a period of time when I was
learning this stuff I was in the suburbs. I was in the suburbs of LA and there wasn't that much
volume so I had to drive sometimes a little over an hour to get to Santa Monica to do approaches.
You got to do what you got to do. If you live in that small town, get to the nearest city
where you can get that volume, very important. Here's the super, the most short answer I could
give you – where's the best place to meet a lot of women? Wherever a lot of women
are. There you go. That's your filter. That's what I want you to be thinking about.