MY NEXT GUEST STARS IN "SILICON VALLEY," WHICH JUST STARTED ITS
SIXTH AND FINAL SEASON.
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH!
( APPLAUSE )
>> MAN.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S UP, TOM.
>> YO.
WHO WAS THAT?
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW.
SHE SEEMED VERY NICE.
>> YEAH, SHE WAS GREAT.
>> Stephen: ANYBODY CALL YOU TOM?
>> TOM, TOMMY, TIM BELLS.
>> Stephen: DOES ANYBODY CALL YOU THOMAS OR IS IT STRICTLY
PROFESSIONAL?
>> PEOPLE CALL ME ALL THE VARIETIES OF THOMAS AND TOM.
>> Stephen: TO YOUR FAMILY WHAT ARE YOU?
>> TOM.
"HELLO, TOM."
>> Stephen: ARE YOU ENGLISH?
>> I'M NOT, BUT THEY ARE.
MY IMPRESSIONS OF MY FATHER EYE HAVE ABOUT ONLY A COUPLE OF
THINGS I CAN GET RIGHT.
ONE, WHEN HE'S MAD.
HE'LL BE LIKE TRYING TO GET A PHOTO, AND HE'LL JUST SAY LIKE,
"PUT ON A PROPER SMILE, TOM!" BECAUSE I'LL BE LIKE... YOU
KNOW?
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE OTHER.
>> WHEN I HAVEN'T DONE THAT, HE'LL JUST SAY "OH, SOD IT!"
AND THE LAST ONE IS, "HANDS OFF YOUR PENIS, TOM!"
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: YOU'RE LIKE, "I'M TRYING TO GIVE YOU A PROPER
SMILE."
YEAH.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS )
>> Stephen: SIXTH AND FINAL SEASON OF "SILICON VALLEY."
HERE WE ARE.
YOU GUYS HAVE ALREADY-- YOU ALREADY FINISHED, RIGHT?
YOU FINISHED THE DAMN THING.
>> WE SHOT THE DAMN THING.
>> Stephen: WHAT DOES THAT FEEL LIKE, BY THE WAY, GOING
INTO THE SEASON, "THIS IS IT.
I BETTER ACT PRESSEY HARD THIS YEAR."
>> "I BETTER ACT THE STUFFING OUT OF THIS THING."
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> HONESTLY, I DON'T WANT TO GET TOO CHEESY, BUT IT'S BEEN A SHOW
THAT'S TOTALLY CHANGED MY LIFE, AND I'VE LOVED TELLING THE
STORY.
SO IT WAS KIND OF-- IT WAS SAD TO SAY GOODBYE TO IT.
WE LITERALLY ENDED THE NIGHT OF SHOOTING WITH A GROUP HUG OF
CAST AND CREW, EVERYBODY, LIKE, ARM IN ARM SHEDDING A TEAR.
>> Stephen: THAT'S LOVELY.
>> IT WAS REALLY SWEET.
IT WAS A SPECIAL EXPERIENCE, REALLY.
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU GONE HOLLYWOOD IN ANY WAY?
>> I MEAN, OTHER THAN MY 40-FOOT YACHT AND MY EAGLE THAT I RIDE
TO WORK.
( LAUGHTER )
>> YEAH.
BUT THE EAGLE'S, LIKE, SMALL.
IT'S ME, "GO!" IT'S-- IT'S A REGULAR-SIZED
BIRD.
>> Stephen: WOW, SURE, SURE.
>> BUT SHE HAULS.
SHE HAULS.
NO, I'M KIND OF EMBARRASSED TO SAY, BUT WE'VE ALREADY
PREARRANGED TO SAY IT.
( LAUGHTER )
THIS.
OKAY, AND TALKING ABOUT MY TEETH.
>> Stephen: ANYTHING NEW?
>> YEAH, WHEN I FIRST GOT TO L.A., I GOT THIS NEW DENTIST.
AND SHE'S RUSSIAN.
AND SHE LOOKED AT MY MOUTH, AND SHE SAID, "UHM, HAVE YOU EVER
THOUGHT ABOUT HAVING VENEERS."
AND I WAS LIKE, "NO, NOT REALLY."
SHE WAS LIKE, "YOU MIGHT WANT TO CONSIDER IT.
YOUR TEETH ARE SO WILD AT THE BOTTOM AND NARROW AT THE TOP, IT
LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE A CONDITION."
AND I WAS LIKE... "TELL IT TO ME STRAIGHT, DOC!"
AND EVENTUALLY, YEAH, WE FIGURE OUT THAT, YOU KNOW, OKAY LET'S
DO SOME VENEERS ON MY TOP TWO FRONT WEEK.
>> Stephen: THOSE ARE APPLICATIONS-- THE APPLIQUES
THAT GO ON THE FRONT OF YOUR TEETH, RIGHT?
>> YOU BE, IT WASN'T FULLY EXPLAINED TO ME.
IN HINDSIGHT I KNOW WHAT THEY ARE NOW, BUT GOING INTO IT, I
JUST ASSUMED THEY KIND OF SHAPE IT AND PUT SOME CAPS ON.
OH, THEY SHAPE IT.
THEY SHAPE IT DOWN TO, LIKE, TRIANGLES.
IF YOU HAVE NEVER HAD VENEERS, A CAUTIONARY TALE.
I MEAN, THEY LOOK GREAT.
THEY LOOK GREAT RIGHT NOW.
SUPER PROUD OF THEM.
>> Stephen: THEY LOOK BEAUTIFUL AND REAL.
( LAUGHTER )
THEY TURN THEM INTO SHARK TEETH?
>> THEY NUMB THEM UP, AND THEY FILE THEM-- HERE I AM I'M
THINKING, WOW, THEY'RE REALLY TAKING THEIR TIME MAKING SURE
THEY'RE PERFECTLY IN SHAPE ."
THEY TAKE A BREAK AT ONE POINT AND THE GUY IT'S GUY WHO WOULD
NOT STOP TELLING ME ABOUT HIS WEB SERIES.
"HEY, MAN, DON'T LOOK IN THE MIRROR," AND THEN HE LEFT.
I WAS LIKE, "WHAT?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SIR!" AND I DIDN'T.
I TOOK HIS ADVICE.
BECAUSE I WAS LIKE, "OH, NO, THAT MEANS SOMETHING BAD."
BUT THEN I SORT OF GLINCHERLY LIKE-- LIKE TOUCHED MY TEETH
WITH MY TONGUE.
AND SURE ENOUGH I HAD BEEN TURNED INTO SNAKE MAN.
I WAS TEMPORARILY DRACULE.
AND -- >> Stephen: YOU NEEDED A CAPE
>> AND FOR A SECOND, I GOT SO SAD.
AND I STARTED CRYING.
I'M A GROWN MAN CRYING IN THE DENTIST CHAIR.
AND SHE CAME BACK IN, THE DENTIST, "WHAT'S WRONG?"
"NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING."
AND IN MY MIND, THIS IS WHAT MADE ME CRY.
OKAY, CUT TO, YOU KNOW, 30 YEARS FROM NOW IT'S A "MAD MAX"
APOCALYPSE SCENARIO, I'M DRIVING AROUND IN MY DIRT BIKE BEING MAD
MAX.
>> AND BAIL AND BASH MY VENEERS OUT.
AND NOW THERE'S NO DENTIST.
SO NOW I'M DRAGON TOOTH FOREVER.
AND HOW AM I GOING IT MEET GIRLS NOW!
IT'S LIKE-- IT'S LIKE THAT'S-- I WAS, LIKE, CRYING THIS FUTURE
"MAD MAX" BROKEN-HEARTS SCENARIO.
>> Stephen: SURE, SURE >> AND I'M HABITUALLY COOL.
>> Stephen: SO ANXIETY IS AN ISSUE?
>> YEAH, YEAH, PRETTY CHILL.
>> Stephen: ME, TOO.
WHAT'S UP, BRO?
"SILICON VALLEY" AIRS SUNDAYS ON HBO.
IT'S THE FINAL SEASON.
GO WATCH IT, EVERYBODY.
THOMAS MIDDLEDITCH, SNAKE TOOTH!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.