Improvement Pill here, welcome to Lesson #11 of the Tamed Course.
In our previous lessons - We learned about how habits and willpower work but today we're
going to talk about something that strikes at the root of our problem.
We're going to talk about 6 things that you must have in your life.
You might be able to build a couple of good habits, you might be able to increase your
willpower – but without these 6 fundamental human needs you will not be able to overcome
your addiction for good.
And this is a concept that was first introduced by Tony Robbins.
So let's jump right into it:
The first fundamental human need is a sense of Certainty.
Human beings need to have some idea of what to expect in the future.
For example: going to work for 40 hours a week and knowing that you'll make say 500$
every week.
If we do not have certainty in our lives, that creates a tremendous amount of stress.
Imagine showing up to work everyday and not knowing what your paycheck is going to look
like at the end of the week.
How confident will you be about pay the bills or putting food on the table?
When we have a lack of certainty in our lives we tend to reach for things that do give us
certainty.
For example: If I smoke a couple of cigarettes, or drink a couple of beers I know that I will
feel good.
That is for certain.
A good way to combat this by setting up habits with consistent rewards.
For example: If I meditate everyday in the morning, I know that I will feel better for
the rest of the day.
But above all certainty is most needed in terms of job and home security.
Forget about trying to build good new habits forget about overcoming your addictions - Without
having a steady stream of income, without knowing that you'll have a roof over your
head, without knowing that you'll have food to eat everyday it is near impossible to overcome
your addictions for good.
The second fundamental human need is variety.
Now I know I know, doesn't this contradict what we just talked about?
Well when I say variety – I'm talking about the sense that our lives aren't boring.
If you're working a 9-5 every single day, with the same exact routine where you come
back home and watch the same tv shows and eat the same food, then you're going to have
an extremely hard time overcoming your addictions.
Because your addiction offer a sort of excitement.
When you're drunk or high the whole world feels different, it adds some variety into
your life.
In order for us to combat this, we need to make sure that we have an exciting life.
This means having exciting hobbies that really interest us.
This means going on exciting trips every once in a while.
This means trying out new things, new foods, new ideas, and even meeting new people.
If we can bring more excitement into our lives we'll reach for the excitement that our addiction
provides far less often.
The third fundamental human need is significance.
We need to feel important, like we matter.
And this is often done in a variety of different ways.
Some people do this by building up a business and making millions, others do so by getting
really good at their craft, and some people even do this by creating unnecessary drama
in their lives.
Without a source of significance we'll just reach for our addiction of choice.
There's a reason why people like doing drugs like cocaine, because it makes you feel like
the most important person in the room.
In order to combat this we can cultivate our own version of significance.
And this differs from person to person but a general rule of thumb is, if there's something
you daydream about.
Then chances are that dream of yours will provide you with a sense of significance.
The 4th fundamental human need is Love and Connection.
We human beings are social creatures.
It's even been found that if you do not socialize with anyone for a long period of time your
brain will actually get smaller.
We need to form intimate bonds with people.
We need to care about others and also feel like others care about us.
And this is one of the most common fundamental human needs that is not being properly fulfilled.
So many people nowadays spend too much time behind their screens to the point where they
no longer know how to go out there and actually connect with people.
If you don't bond with others in real life, then you'll find yourself reaching for bad
habits that can fulfill this need.
That's why so many people nowadays are addicted to things like social media or even pornography.
So many young men nowadays watch pornography because it tricks your brain into thinking
that you are being loved by dozens of women unconditionally.
In order to combat this we need to work on our social skills.
We need to be able to hold deep and meaningful conversations with the people in real life.
If you're having trouble with any of this I do have a couple of videos on communication
skills which I will link to in the description below.
The 5th fundamental human need is growth.
We human beings need to see progress or improvement in our lives.
We need to see that if we're working on something every single day that we're getting better
or getting better results.
This is why so many people with good paying jobs still end up quitting after a while because
they see no room for improvement.
They see very little to no increases in pay, they see no opportunity to climb within the
company and because of this they feel a strong urge to leave.
Now you don't need necessarily need to see progress at work, a lot of people fulfill
their need for progress by reaching for their goals.
Someone who starts hitting the gym on a regular will see clear progress in the amount of weight
he can lift as well as in his body.
If you do not have some sort of positive growth in your life then you're going to look for
it elsewhere.
Many people find progress in their addictions.
Although they build more and more tolerance to their substance of choice and their addictions
get worse and worse, they stay around because that fulfills their need for progress.
It just so happens that this progress isn't good for us.
In order to combat this we need to make sure that we're making positive progress somewhere
in our lives.
This is why focusing on self-improvement, watching videos like this, and applying the
lessons to our lives is so powerful.
Because building good new habits and working on ourselves can fulfill this need.
The 6th and final fundamental human need is contribution.
Studies have actually found that a large majority of the happiest people in the world are the
ones who give backWhen you provide happiness for others that makes you happy as well.
It shows you that you're capable of giving value to others, and this ties back with the
fundamental need to feel significant.
Now this need can be fulfilled in a couple of ways.
You can give back to the community.
Do some community service, help out your friends and family whenever they're in need, and you
can also do this by working on yourself so that you can bring more to the table.
If you work on your social skills and become a happier person you can make others around
you happier as well.
And that's it these are the 6 fundamental human needs that we need to fulfill.
If you are lacking in any of these areas you will find it near impossible to overcome your
addiction.
And this is because your addiction is fulfilling the need for you.
This is the final video of the Tamed Course.
At this point you now know everything you need to know in order to overcome your addiction.
If you don't I suggest you click on the link in the description below and re-watch some
of the lessons.
But I will sum up our strategy one last time to make sure that you're on the right path.
In order for us to overcome our addictions we need to fulfill the 6 fundamental human
needs.
We do this by using our knowledge of willpower and habits to building a single keystone habit.
This keystone habit will make us stronger and allow us to build other good habits down
the line.
So continue to focus on building your keystone habits.
Get it to the line of automaticity which again can take up to 9 months and start fulfilling
your 6 fundamental human needs.
As each of the 6 are being naturally fulfilled you should find it easier and easier to stay
away from your addiction of choice.
And eventually it will no longer be a major problem in your life.
The Tamed Course was made possible with the help of the Patrons of this channel.
If you've found any value in this course and would like to give back as well as help me
continue to make courses like this down the line then I'd be truly grateful if you could
become a patron too.
All of my patrons receive perks and benefits which you can find out more about here
The Tamed Course may be over but I may occasionally add additional videos to the course if I ever
come across any valuable information.
So I wish you the best of luck in overcoming your addiction and stay tuned.