Yes. Hello. Good day.
My name is Thio le Joie (ThioJoe)
And it is a new apartment edition of
"You're Dumb Comments"
Because I just moved,
that is the reason why I haven't been making,
any new ones in the past two weeks.
Because my camera was in shipment,
and I couldn't exactly break in to the FedEx truck
to record new episodes.
So now we're in the new apartment,
it might be a little bit echoey? (Is that a word)
because there is nothing in it yet.
But, we're back and this is the first episode
of anything I've made in the new apartment.
So, let's get started.
Last week I asked you, what is the last thing
you want your doctor to say,
when you're at the doctor's office.
So let's find out.
Rectum?
Damn near killed him!
How long do I have to live? Doctor says, about 5.
Five what?
Four...
Three...
Two...
Doctor says, "You will die in 2 months."
You say, "Oh no, is there any way I can survive?"
The doctor says, "Actually, there is one way..."
"What is it?"
"You will need to pay to double your internet speed"
Fuck you I can do it for free,
I'd rather die.
You have cancer and you're going to die idiot.
I don't know, I kinda like a doctor that just gives it to you straight.
That last thing I want to hear my doctor say is..
You need to real all your previous comments on ThioJoe's videos.
I think they use that as capital punishment
in some countries.
That my friends and the other hand I have to get up and
down the line of credit card debt consolation loans and
the other side of the most important thing is that
the only thing I can get a chance to win the game...
"You are a pregnant man" says the Doc.
You know, they did make a movie about that one time.
Doctor leaves, nurse comes in. Nurse says "Who was that guy?"
"You're HIV aladin."
I get that reference.
You say "Help me, doctor! I only have 59 more seconds to live!"
Doctor says, "Just a minute."
You have to live...
for the rest of your life...
"You are scheduled to die in 1 month."
What an unusual way of phrasing that.
Doctor says, "I'm just gonna watch ThioJoe's tutorial on
how to replace your heart, ok?"
"There's a cactus in there."
"Bye, hope you come again."
Way to be optimistic.
"Oh wait... so you wanted to keep your kidneys..."
Sorry about that, here's a gift card because we're sorry.
"Well, as you see here, your family tree is a cactus,
every member of your family is a prick, and so are you.
It's in your DNA."
"Trump won the election and Comcast is the only TV service."
Not sure why you're doctor would be telling you that though.
"You have upgraded to Comcast Dial-Up."
Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse.
I don't want to hear him say...
"You've got ThioJoeitis."
I know, I've had it for years. It's a struggle.
And finally, I've actually gotta good one myself
that I'm surprised no one said.
So you walk into a doctor's office and you ask them for some news,
and he tells ya, "Well. The good news is, your gonna
have a disease named after you."
Alright, so those were pretty funny,
And now of course, it's time for Dummy of the Week.
Where I go over someone who's just been a big dummy.
And this week, we actually have four dummies of the week in one.
It's like a bonus round.
And these are four inmates, named Christopher, Ian,
Jayras, and Xavier. Not sure if I pronounced that right.
And you're probably thinking, ok, they're inmates,
in prison, they probably did something stupid to try
and break out of jail.
Wrong!
Now unfortunately, we don't have an image of these people
but, you can just use your imagination.
And what happened was these four inmates
disappeared one day durning roll call. They put out an
alert and searched for hours without being able to find them.
And it wasn't until later that night at about 1:00 A.M
when the guards finally found them.
And how were they found?
Well they were caught trying to re-enter the prison.
That's right, they weren't caught trying to break out of
the prison, but they were trying to break back in.
These inmates were in a minimum security area, and
obviously now, they were put into higher security.
So let that be a lesson for the rest of you if you
ever break out of prison, don't try to break back in.
But anyway, for next week, I want to ask you guys this...
What should I get for my apartment? And maybe
Just maybe, I will get some of the stuff actually,
and show you guys. No guarantees 'cuz, we all know
how some of these comments turn out.
You can leave your dumb comments in the section below,
or use the hashtag #ThioJoeApartement on Twitter.
And I'll read my favorite ones next week.
And of course, here's this weeks fun fact.
You just wasted point 00001.4% of your entire life,
watching this video.
Hope it was worth it.
So I hope you guys enjoyed this video, be sure to give it
a thumbs up if you enjoyed it. Let's go for a stretch goal
of 7 likes if we can get it this week.
Also don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss out on
next weeks video, and we are going to be getting back
into the normal rhythm of videos.
And if you want to check out that last video, here's a sample.
People hate Comcast because Comcast hates them.
That is the most accurate and elegant explanation I've ever heard.
Comcast killed my family.