- In this video, I will share with you five ways
on how to have a devoted relationship.
(gentle music)
Hello, my name is Greta Bereisaite.
I'm a dating and relationship coach or women.
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And just before I will share with you those five ways
on how you can have a devoted relationship,
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I'm coming today with a topic, all right.
So this video will have a topic, which is very cute,
and I even have some notes for it.
And the topic is devoted relationships
from a Christian's point of view.
All right, so please, if you're not a Christian, stay here,
stay with me, you'll love it.
I promise you, you will love it.
If you believe in God, you'll love it, okay?
So stay with me, bear with me and just listen, okay?
If you have any comments, let me know,
and what I will do,
I will literally give you a couple of steps to follow
if you want to have a devoted relationship,
and how do they work,
and what we are kind of like all about, okay?
So the first step to follow is to let a man lead, right?
I talk about this a lot, but men should be chasers,
men should be pursuers, and that you should let a man lead.
So why you should let a man lead, right?
Because you are a woman, you're not a pursuer,
you're not a leader, you're not a chaser.
It does say in the Bible, it's the man who finds his wife.
So you need to let a man to find you and lead you,
or to find you and prove himself to you
that he's actually good enough for you.
And a lot of you ladies, who,
a lot of ladies nowadays,
they don't have that much self value and worth,
and there's a lot of kind of promotion online
that men should look at themselves as kings, et cetera.
And, yes, we should all value and love each other
and one another, right?
But in a relationship,
it's a woman who is a gift, right?
A man designed a woman for a man as a gift.
So you, ladies, no matter what nowadays society is saying,
biblically, you are a gift to a man.
And it's a man who finds his wife,
and it's a man who needs to prove himself to you
and charm you, and compete for you,
and seduce you, et cetera.
If you even look at the Bible.
So, ladies, today is a bit of
a Christian point of view, right?
If you look at the Bible, if you look at Psalms, right?
Psalms, the book of Psalms in the Bible,
which is quite a long book in the Old Testament,
it's the Psalms is the poems, right?
It's poems.
So it's literally poems to God, right?
And this is why men, in the past,
they would write poems to women to charm women,
to make them feel special, to show them like,
look, I'm a man, I'm a pursuer, I'm a seducer.
You are a gift and I'm gonna charm you
and I'm gonna prove myself to you that I'm worthy of you,
that I'm worthy of you being mine, my gift, right?
So, ladies, when you don't let men pursue you
and then you step into his shoes
and you do this instead of him.
And, you know, you text that message first,
or you show how keen you are,
or you don't even meet the guy,
you don't even know anything about him,
but you kind of like glamorize him in your mind
and you think like,
"Oh, I just really, really need that man.
And you, you know,
you jump in first and you take those steps towards him.
You basically kill it for him.
You're literally killing it for him.
You're putting yourself on a plate,
you're acting masculine, and you're turning him off,
and then there is no point for him to prove himself to you,
to charm you, to pursue you,
to write these poems for you, you know?
'Cause he's like,
"Okay, well this gift is putting herself on a plate.
I don't need to work for it, so why should I, right?"
So number one is letting a man pursue you.
And the more he pursues, ladies.
The more he invests into you,
the more he goes out of his way to please you
to prove himself to you,
the more he's actually falling for you.
So when a man is pursuing you, like enjoy it.
You, as a woman, you should just be a receiver
and check is he like doing it genuinely,
or is he kind of BS-ing you?
Like what is he up to? What are his intentions?
So you, as a woman,
you should just be kind of observing his actions.
Does he match with his words, is he serious about you,
or does he perhaps just want to take some advantage
of you, right?
So you, as a woman, all you need to do,
you just need to be wise and you need to be receptive,
which takes me to the point number two.
And biblically, it does say that as a woman,
you should not be naive.
You know, it does say be wise, don't be naive.
Guard your heart.
The world, as they say, it's not heaven.
We don't live on heaven, we live on earth.
There is evil and there is good in this world.
And there are lots of predators.
There are lots of manipulators.
There are lots of men
who will happily take advantage of you.
So you, as a woman's job,
is to be receiver and to observe him,
are his intentions towards you are genuine?
Are they true?
And how do you observe that?
You observe that by watching his actions.
You know, so what does he do for you?
Does he plan the dates?
Is he being a gent? Is he a man of his word?
Does he ask you out in advance?
Does he just, you know, call you up at 8:00 PM
and just says like,
"Oh, would you like to grab some takeaway,
come over to mine?"
You know, it's like these type of stuff.
Or, a lot of times, women nowadays, a lot of us,
we don't have value, we don't feel valuable,
and we put ourselves on a plate to guys
and we do things spontaneously.
We literally do everything for them
because we are so desperate for that guy.
And then, you know, they see you at the last minute
as a booty call,
they give you all the nicest words on earth, you know?
They make you feel special just by like,
blah-blah-blah, you're this, you're this, you're that,
flattery, promises, et cetera, and then that's it,
and then he doesn't call you for a week or so, you know?
And then ladies, we still like, we reflect back.
Oh, but we had chemistry, it was so nice.
And he told me so much nice stuff.
Yeah, but like, if you want to know,
is he truly into you, is he genuine about you?
You don't just listen to the blah-blah-blah, you know?
Words, they come in, they go out.
You observe his actions.
So if you want to know,
is the guy genuine about you?
Observe his actions. Does he do what he says he will do?
And don't be naive in the meantime.
As the Bible says, "Guard your heart."
But, ladies, when I say guard your heart,
I don't mean put lots of walls around yourself.
Putting walls around yourself doesn't make sense.
The reason putting walls around yourself doesn't make sense
is because when you're naive, when you're not wise enough,
when you're quite gullible,
you can't protect yourself by putting walls around yourself,
but it's not, you know,
a smart person can still break through these walls.
You know, a smart person
can still manipulate you through them.
When I say guard your heart,
I mean more like be wise, learn the tactics,
learn the strategies of these guys, learn the manipulators,
learn they're bad, understand their intentions,
learn their games.
When you know their games,
when the guy's coming out to you
and you can see the red flags, you can see his BS-ing here
and then he's like not stepping up with his actions,
you know, when you read through that person,
that is when you're not gonna be played with.
This is how you're gonna feel safe
as you're just not gonna let this guy manipulate you,
because it's not gonna make sense.
What he's saying and what he's doing
is not gonna make sense.
It's gonna be too many red flags, you know?
So when I say guard your heart, I mean learn,
educate yourself, learn about the bad, learn how it works.
And then, when the bad approaches you,
you'll see right through him,
and because you will see right through him,
you're not gonna fall into his trap.
And because you won't fall into his trap,
this is how you actually will end up guarding your heart
by not being naive and silly, right?
Rather than putting lots of walls around yourself,
that doesn't make sense.
You know, you can put tons of walls
and you can still be very naive and gullible
and dumb behind the walls.
You know, you need to, by guarding your heart,
I mean educate yourself.
Be wise, so people don't manipulate you,
so people can't manipulate and cannot take advantage of you.
In the meantime, yes, you know, like guys,
what guys should do.
Let's talk what biblically men should do, right?
So as I said, men should be writing poems
and charming a woman, because she's a gift,
so he needs to prove himself to you.
He needs to like impress you, et cetera, et cetera, right?
In the Bible, it even says, you know,
we have some examples where it says,
"Love a woman like Christ loved a church."
He was willing to die for her.
So, you know, biblically,
a man should even love a woman that much
that he should be willing to die for her, you know?
so, ladies, like imagine this,
you're having a one night stand,
he's ignoring you for a week
and you're going crazy about this guy
who's ignoring you for a week after a one night stand,
whereas who you should be crazy going about
would be that guy that's willing to die for you.
You know, it's like we've got it so wrong.
It's crazy nowadays.
But in order for a man to be so attracted to you
that he's willing to die for you,
you need to behave in a very attractive way, right?
So what is attractive?
It's attractive when you're not naive.
Ladies, when a man cannot manipulate you,
when he cannot play you
because you don't behave like a child
and don't throw tantrums, it's actually,
when he sees that his attraction towards you increases,
because he gets intrigued.
He's like, "Wow, this woman is smart.
She can stand her ground.
She can look after the family and kids.
I can trust her."
You know, when you're naive and he can play you like this
and he can do whatever he wants with you, it's boring.
Things get boring for guys very quickly.
This is what men think we look for.
They think that we look for women
that we can control and play with and manipulate.
And, yes, this is what we look for for the one night stands
and for the woman that they can use and bye-bye,
and that's it, right?
For women, for real woman,
for a woman that he's kind of ready to love and adore,
he's not looking for this in a woman.
He's looking for a smart girl
that will stand up for herself,
that will see through his BS,
and who's not gonna like fall for it.
You know, this is what they admire.
And, yes, you might have little arguments here and there,
but if you're behaving in a smart way
and you're doing the right thing, he'll have nothing on you,
because if the way you're behaving makes sense logically,
and you are behaving in a righteous way,
he can't blame you for it.
He can't accuse you with this stuff.
He can't say you're this, or this, or that.
He can't call you crazy, he can't call you dumb,
he can't call you a child, he can't call you naive,
he can't call you any of this stuff,
because it's not gonna make sense
when you're behaving logically,
you'll laugh in his face.
You know, if you have an argument which makes sense,
you know, and he's calling you all this stuff,
you're gonna be like, "Hold on a minute.
Are you like, do you have any sense in you?
Are you like dumb yourself?
You know, I'm right here."
But when you ladies overthink things,
when you overreact from your feelings and you assume things,
when you go crazy, when you act all emotional,
when you have tantrums, then one second you're crying,
another second you're screaming and shouting.
One second, you're breaking up,
another second you're making up,
this is a child-like behavior.
This is somebody who's acting naive and gullible
who cannot control herself,
and this is someone that a guy will be calling crazy,
because it's actually a turn off for him.
It's unattractive.
A man is not looking for a child to take care of,
he's looking for an equal,
he's looking for a woman to value and respect.
Another thing what it actually says in the Bible,
It says, "A man should love a woman as he loves himself.
A man should value a woman as he values himself."
The other thing, I really like this one, nagging, right?
A lot of women nag men.
Ladies, when you nag men for not giving you things,
it usually does not work.
A man will not give you things
just because you're nagging him about it.
It's very rare that they will do that.
Sometimes, yes, in the beginning, he'll just be like,
"Okay, fine. I'll just do it for her,"
and then he'll stop doing it after a while again, you know,
because it's not coming from him.
A man needs to give you things naturally.
When a man falls for you,
when he sees that you're the one and he sees value in you,
he will want to give things to you
from his own free will naturally.
So if he's not giving you things naturally,
it's because perhaps somewhere along
the way you turned him off,
perhaps he has lost some attraction in you,
or perhaps maybe in the past he would do things for you
and now he stopped doing things for you, it's again,
it's because somewhere along the way,
you behaved in an attractive way and you turned him off.
So I would really recommend to reflect on yourself,
to reflect on your own behavior why he's not doing things
that he used to do for you.
Or, if you just started to date,
why this guy is not doing things for you at all,
why he's not treating you nice at all,
because either you don't know how,
because you're not showing your value and worth
in the attractive way.
And because he doesn't see value and worth in you,
this why he's not going out of his way to please you
or do nice things towards you.
And referring to the Bible,
it does say, "Better to sleep on top of the roof
than be in the same room with a nagging wife."
So yeah, these were the things on my mind.
I'm gonna look at some of your comments now and just see,
okay, there is a guy here.
Let's just see what he says here.
By the way, I see some comments about feminism,
nothing that I'm coaching here is feministic, all right?
It's all about men and woman complimenting each other.
You know, it's not about competing,
we're not trying to be here men,
we are trying to be here women, you know?
And it's all about complimenting each other.
You know, we don't compete with men,
because men and women are different.
We were created to be different.
We were created to complement each other.
We were created for two to become one.
We were designed to be different on purpose,
so when we come together, the life is easier.
So, ladies, if you liked this video, please press like.
Let me know in the comments below, what did you think?
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Thank you for watching, kissing from Dorset.