[Music]
uh
yeah three or three three welcome one
and all
to this brand new school yeah if you get
hurt remember there's no sue
when a couple things have changed
there's a new success so y'all remember
caitlyn call that girl professor
and drink he'll teach you how to fight
dark art which will come in handy if
you're not smart and the dementors
they're mental they're just doing the
job you can see them on the grounds they
don't mean you no harm but i'm telling
[Music]
wait what
this is snoop dogg he somehow escaped
from escoban prison
did you just say ass this is a very
serious matter girls
mr doug wants to kill you honestly
professor spears this just sounds like
another typical year at hogwarts
yes but this one is personal
what's that thing professor de nicki
minaj mentioned earlier
a dorito a dementor serves as a guard at
azkaban they feed on your souls
oh my god what we saw them on the train
the train stopped it's probably run out
of gas that's not how it works
should we do something no
i'm so sick of this girl's sane like
it's the same thing
day in and day out where's the variety
where's the creativity and we don't even
get any benefits like
hello i'm telling you we need to start a
union right
i see well no need to worry girls you're
completely
safe here five bucks says snoop's gonna
kill the girls
professor carey oh
hi girls i was just joking it didn't
sound like you were joking
i wasn't
but why would snoop dogg want to kill
you because we're like
super powerful rubbish there has to be
more to it than that
where did you come from i've been here
all right class
we're gonna be studying the art of
divination
i need you to look into the teacups why
to look at the tea leaves
i have a club that means you're gonna
get your ass beat
mine looks like a dog oh
what you've got the grim ew
is that contagious no it means death
it's all hogwash if you ask me tea
leaves predicting your future
really what if one of the dementors kill
me so it's true
one of the famous kardashians fainted at
the sight of a dementor
that's none of your business taylor yeah
she fainted courtney
shuttle down class let me introduce you
to today's
magical creature a squaddily d dumb
you can even fly on this baby it's a
duck
no it's a squadron it's a deck it's an
ugly beast
taylor why don't you come say hello to
quack quack pop
whatever
[Music]
hey quack quack i bet you taste
delicious with some roasted vegetables
i'm gonna sue you i'm gonna sue you so
hard
can anyone tell me what's inside clothes
a booger
that's right hermione when the hell did
you get here a booger is a shape-shifter
they can take the shape of whatever you
fear the most i didn't ask
but yeah that's right there's a spell to
repel it
point your wand and say rice crispy
[Music]
oh god it's a pig's thigh do the spell
rice crispy next let's spend the whole
day together sweetie
no rice crispy
[Music]
next
rice crispy
class is dismissed
i need to speak with you three if you
girls ever run into trouble with the
dementor
i want you to use a very powerful spell
expecto petroleum jelly
we've got some of that in the bathroom
your mom had the same type of humor back
in the day
you know you know our mom yeah we went
to school together and now
what here at hogwarts oh your mom never
told you she was a wizard
no she didn't that we used to be
good friends
it was me her and over share much
students don't need to be privy
to your personal life
or should i say mel
well well e-b-o-e-b-e
[Music]
what the it looks like taylor's
succeeded
her lawsuit has gone through and quack
quack's going to be executed
bloody hell speaking of animals have any
of you seen my pet rhett scabbas
i can't find him i hope he finds my
mousetrap
what about this bow wow wow yupiyo upa
thing perhaps it's an incantation of
sorts
bow wow sounds like something a dog
would say dog
as in snoop dogg but what has drake got
to do with snoop dogg
maybe professor spears knows the
kardashians are in grave danger
professor scott
you mean they might lose their powers
like chris did she didn't lose them
you know who stole all of chris's magic
oh yeah wasn't she in hiding after she
had her kids
yes but that horrible snoop doggy dog
gave away her location
and the worst part of all he's their dog
father
he even murdered their friend miley it's
only a matter of time before mr dog
finds the sisters and finishes the job
it'd be really bad if the sisters heard
this rather not within hearing distance
that must have been horrible to hear we
can't let snoop get away with this
yeah i hope he finds us cause when he
does
we're gonna kill him maybe maybe
professor d nicki minaj will be down
soon with the executioner
we're so sorry caitlin we're absolutely
devastated
i'm not i have no attachment to that
duck squadly d
dumb can't you just free him chloe don't
go there i'd lose my job by the way
i found your wrap up scabbus you need to
like get a leash for that thing
what the i'm not putting the lead on my
rat i said
leash caitlyn they're coming
quick you must not be seen
what is it arses i heard
never mind weirdo
it's too bad we couldn't save quack
quack at least i've got scabbers back
well i guess they're dead let's go get
some salads
i'm starving no we have to save them
especially hermione
why who else are we going to copy off of
during exams
[Music]
looks like the gang's all here just
missing one person
it's you're the d-o-double g
i'm snoop dogg prepare to die drop his
wandis
you're on his side wait
you're a werewolf aren't you that's what
snape's bow wow reference was
is she always a stuck-up know-it-all yes
so not watermelon mom has no magic
because of you
probably not a bad thing that wasn't me
girly
i would never zigzag and betray my
friendship with chris
miley did that
skypers
oh uh hey my dear old friends
listen i know what i did looks bad on
paper
but that wasn't the real me it was
another me
let's call her hannah hannah was bad
miley is good aren't you supposed to be
dead
she faked her death and got me sent to
azkaban but she won't be able to fake
this
no let's hand her into the dementors
come on y'all i've learned my lesson i
don't need to be taken to the dementors
shut up miley it's time to face your
oh shiznit you didn't take your potion
homie
oh now
our dog father
i'm not going down there me neither
expecto petroleum jelly
wow that spell literally did nothing
kim kim
finally a moose i saw a moose
i think you saw a dare i can't believe i
saw a moose
kim we don't have much time the
dementors have got mr doggy dog he's up
in the highest cell of the dark tower
he's
innocent i know if only someone in this
very room
had a time turner and could change the
events leading up to this
very moment
professor spears gave it to me so i
could attend my lessons i don't care why
she gave it to you
no student should have such a powerful
ass device
my god turn it twice
you've had that device this whole time
you stupid
i don't need to explain myself we've got
to go back
quack quack i think we're meant to save
him look
it's us
wow i look sexy
they're headed this way let's freak
quack quack wait we can't be seen
terrible things will happen if we're
spotted we're not leaving and they're
getting closer
ow why would you do that you weren't
moving fast enough
we have to hide
good lord look at your asses
asses i heard never mind
[Music]
yes look at this marvelous distraction
over here
let's get him come here quack quack come
on boy
this way it's okay
come here thoroughly
let's keep him in the forest he'll be
safe there
we're already underground we would have
been here sooner if it wasn't for
somebody slowing us down i had to pee
okay
big deal you didn't just pee we could
literally hear your farts
look we're back oh now
[Music]
that's a horn stupid whatever it is it
worked
it's coming this way
i think we lost it
oh my god thank you donald duck
our dog father go we'll keep an eye on
drake
expecto petroleum jelly
how come he's going so slow it's the
extra ass way
shut up courtney
burrito
snoop we've brought you quack quack
take him and be free y'all look crazy
just like your mama
see you next time
how are we gonna get down
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and go watch our very first trip to
hogwarts