Heya playa, are you struggling to keep a conversation going with your crush because you really have
nothing in common with them? Don't worry. In this video, I'm gonna share a few tips
that you can start using to help make that conversation a lot less awkward and make it
easier for them to talk back to you just as much as you want to talk to them. This is
The Josh Speaks. You're watching The Josh Speaks. For those of you that are new here,
my name is Josh and every single week I make videos sharing tips, ideas, and stories teaching
you how to be your best self and the one most important thing that people have to remember
is that commonality is not the same as compatibility. Just because you have a lot of things in common
with your crush doesn't mean you're gonna be compatible with them and vice versa. If
you are compatible with them, it may mean you don't really have a lot in common with
them. So first, what I want you to do is to discover new things about them. Take time
to hear some of their personal stories, things that they've been through, things that they
like. The more you learn about them, the easier it's going to be for you to find where the
two of you are actually compatible. And part of that compatibility is not just spending
the entire time listening to them, you're also going to want to share personal stories
about yourself. The more you can teach them about who you are, the more they're also going
to start to feel like you're someone they can open up to, someone they can trust, someone
that they want to share things with. Here's an example, let's say you went camping with
your family and something crazy happened. A bear came up to your campsite and just ate
all your food. Well, as you tell your crush that story, you're definitely going to want
to focus on the emotional parts of it. The things you felt and thought during those moments.
Maybe you were scared when the bear came but you were brave in warding the bear off. As
you share that story with your crush, your crush is going to learn more about your deep
personality and it opens up the doorway for you to segway into more questions. Maybe you
want to ask your crush "Have you ever been camping before?", "Where do you like to go
on vacation with your family?", "What's one place you'd love to visit?". Step two is to
learn about the values behind what matters to them. Why are those things important to
them? How do they shape that person's life? How have they made them into the person that
they are today? There are so many tv shows and video games and musicians and people and
experience that we've had that have really kind of informed and shaped our opinions about
things. So, if you're afraid that you don't have a lot in common with your crush, understand
the values behind why they care about something and see how those values align with yours.
For example, let's say your crush tells you that their most favorite tv show ever is Riverdale.
Now you may really have no interest at all in watching it but if you really understand
why that show is important to your crush, ask your crush questions like "Who's the character
you most identify with?", "What's the plot and storyline of the show and why do you like
it so much?". The more you can understand the values and if your crush says things like
"Well, I feel like this character is sweet and kind but doesn't let anyone take advantage
of them" or "I feel like this plot in the show really resonated with something I went
through in my life". Those are things that you can now resonate with even if you've never
even seen the show, you may identify with a character from something that really reflects
your character so understand the values that way the two of you can overlap. And step number
three if you're super worried about not having anything in common with your crush, you need
to stop overthinking it. Yes, you may not have the same obvious hobbies and interests
but if you go back to the basics and ask more open-ended questions, you may discover that
the two of you have more in common than you actually think. Maybe you're both in the same
grade and you have to deal with the same kinds of stressful classes or maybe you both have
annoying family members and siblings that just get all up in your business and don't
really give you your own privacy. Either way, going back to those basic questions where
you can just learn about them as a person and their life is going to allow you to see
what you actually have in common that may not be so obvious. For example, if you're
both in high school you may want to ask your crush "Hey, what college are you thinking
about attending and why do you want to go there?" or if you're actually in college you
may want to ask your crush "What are you studying? What's your major? What are you hoping to
be once you graduate and get a career?". When you take the time to really learn about a
person that you like, you're gonna see the similarities you guys have and also the differences
and that's what actually makes a successful partnership. People bringing different experiences
to the table to influence and shape and teach the other person so don't take it for granted
that they're different from you. Actually, see that as a bonus. See that as a way for
you to expand what you know and what you like and it's a way for you to really grow with
the person that you care for. But if you're still struggling with finding exact things
to talk about, you're definitely going to want to check out my 20 ice breaker conversation
starters. It's a free guide I've put together that walks you through question after question
that you can ask your crush to really learn more about them. Before I share the link for
that, I definitely want to give a huge shoutout to all my patrons and YouTube channel members.
These are the people that help the channel grow so if you wanna talk to me one on one
every single month through video chat, that's a perk I give to my champion level members
so check out the link to Patreon down below to learn more about that. Now what I want
you to do is to check out the link to my ice breakers over there on the side as well as
the video I've linked up. I think both of those resources are going to help you discover
more in common with your crush to discover how you can be more compatible and really
help you feel more confident in approaching them. On that note guys, I'll catch you next
time. As always, love and peace.