Mat Boggs: Hey, my name is Mat Boggs.
I'm a dating coach for amazing women like you, helping you manifest your man.
Today we're going to talk about a strange dating secret that can help you call in the
love of your life.
Here's what it is.
The secret is you have to date him to know if you want to date him.
Now on one level we might think that this is obvious.
I was having a conversation with a client of mine recently that said, "You know, I know
that that's obvious, but when I went through your program of Manifest Your Man, I finally
got it."
She was like, "It was the huge aha moment for me."
If you're a romantic, if you're anything like me where you're wanting this amazing connection
with somebody, part of what we look for when we're meeting somebody knew is that lightning
bolt moment.
Some of us might even be looking if you're like me, looking for the heavens to part,
right?
You're looking for this amazing sign that's an unbelievable experience, this knowingness
that this is the one, and yet what I've discovered after interviewing literally hundreds of couples
who have been with the love of their life over 40 years is that that's not always the
case.
There's not always this lightning bolt, I know this is the one and a burning bush moment,
this sign so to speak that says, "This is the love of your life."
It's not like that.
Often times we don't know.
In fact, there might not even as much chemistry as you think there is.
Often times you have to open the gates to say, "Look, I have to date this person even
to know if I want to date this person."
Before I understood this principle, I would often sit in a restaurant or sit in a bar.
I'd go out to meet people, and I would from across the room look at them and try to decide
is this the person with whom I could spend the rest of my life?
I'd watch them for a little while, I'd analyze their smile.
I'd analyze how they interacted with the waiter, or the waitress and their friends and say,
"No.
Oh, I don't know if I could spend the rest of my life with that person."
It was this instant I had to know if I wanted to marry this person.
That puts way too much pressure on the interaction.
Instead, take all of that pressure off.
Give yourself permission to not know.
Give yourself permission to try on lots of different experiences.
In fact, give yourself permission to remove being typecast.
If you're like a lot of women you typically go for the same type of man, a certain height,
a certain type of humor, a certain type of look, a certain occupation.
That can also typecast us into getting the same result.
Throw all that out the window and expand your boundaries because in order to have something
new in your life you have to be willing to try something new in your life.
Expand the boundaries and give yourself permission to be yourself and play in dating.
Have it be the person who's the one, have it be the person who's not one, but be grateful
for each experience you have.
Let it be okay to date someone to find out if you want to date someone.
When you do that, it throws the door open wide to amazing possibilities.
That's exactly what happened for me.
I ended up going out with someone who I wasn't sure if she was going to be the one, but because
I gave it an opportunity, and then another opportunity and another opportunity, sometimes
it's friendships that catch fire.
My friendship with this woman caught major fire.
I ended up marrying her.
The same possibility is for you.
Open the door wide.
Date someone to find out if you want to date someone, and it will lead you to amazing places.
I hope you've enjoyed this video, and I have a question for you.
How do you know when you want to date somebody?
What qualities do you look for?
What feelings do you look for inside yourself that let you know you want to date this person?
Go ahead and post a comment in the comment section below.
I love checking out your comments.
To support you in your love life I've created a great resource for you.
I posted a link up here in the video and also down in the description.
Click that link.
You can get that resource.
It will help you understand the hearts and minds of men.
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is there to support you in increasing the love in your life.
Thanks so much for watching.
I'll see you soon.