Crazy for bologna? Craving a sandwich? Or maybe you're just cooking on a budget — either way,
these are the mistakes you should never make again.
"Dad, where does bologna come from?"
"Where does bologna come from? Well, let's see…"
Bologna's status as the butt of food jokes lies in its reputation as a so-called "mystery
meat." The average person has likely never put much genuine thought into how bologna is made,
but that doesn't stop them from making jokes about not wanting to know what's inside. The
exact process falls under the same umbrella as hot dogs and other cooked sausage products, but those
foods don't come with the same stigma. Bologna slices are basically flat hot dogs, after all.
So what actually goes into them? Bologna can be made from cured beef, chicken,
or pork. Commonly, it's some combination of those three meats. The meat is ground
very finely into a smooth batter before being pressed into casings like a hot dog. Usually,
bologna contains a substantial portion of fat, meat, and water,
but it also typically features spices like garlic, nutmeg, allspice, celery seed, and myrtle berry.
Sure, it's not the most appetizing process to think about before you
sit down to eat. In fairness, though, you could gross yourself out about
almost anything on your plate if you think too hard about how it got there.
For decades, the humble bologna sandwich has been a staple in packed lunches across the
United States. Often, a bologna sandwich will be a slapped-together combination of white bread,
bologna, and a condiment such as ketchup or mayonnaise. A bologna sandwich is only as good as
you make it, however, and if you make it boring, well — let's just say you get what you deserve.
"My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R."
There are plenty of ways to mix-up the standard bologna sandwich. For example,
you could swap out the regular bread slices for something different like sourdough or
even a toasted bagel. The bologna will also taste better if you fry it on the griddle a
little bit to bring out the flavor. From there, your imagination is the only thing holding you
back. The popular New Orleans restaurant Turkey and the Wolf serves a griddle-fried
bologna sandwich with American cheese, hot mustard, Duke's mayo, shredded lettuce, and
vinegar potato chips stacked between two slices of buttered bread. Nothing boring about that, right?
But what if you don't have a bunch of other ingredients to hand? Well,
chef and television personality Alton Brown suggests making a sandwich that is a combination
of fried bologna and cold bologna right out of the fridge. The different textures and flavors
shine through the simple sandwich, meaning that it needs precious little else to make it pop.
"I hate bologna, like, more than anything else in the world. Spit it out, spit it out, spit it out!"
Bologna is often thought of as a last resort option when it comes to lunchmeat. Sure,
you might scoff down a bologna sandwich if it's served to you,
but it probably wasn't your first choice for lunch — and it probably won't be next time,
either. However, if you think outside of the sandwich, you can transform bologna into a
meat that's just as delicious as those pricier cuts at the butcher's counter.
If you're interested in making your bologna a bit fancier, you could always do what Grillin'
Fools does and make "burnt ends" out of thick dices of bologna. Usually,
burnt ends are made by overcooking pieces of beef brisket until they are extremely tender.
The recipe suggests slathering chunks of more affordable bologna meat in butter,
barbeque sauce, and honey, and then smoking them twice to get a similar effect to brisket. It might
even inspire you to make your own bologna at home using a meat grinder and backyard smoker.
The most foolproof way to change a bologna hater's mind is to dig out the frying pan.
Bologna has a soft texture that doesn't resemble any other meats and the mouthfeel can be a little
unsettling for picky eaters, which is why frying it is the way to go. Think about it:
un-fried bologna is pretty much the same as a cold hot dog. It's just not that appetizing.
Meanwhile, the heat from a grill helps to caramelize the sugars in the bologna meat,
amping up the sweetness. It also adds variety in texture by having the soft interior
complemented with a crispy exterior. If someone is bad-mouthing bologna to you, try offering them
a grilled or fried bologna sandwich — they'll be eating their words before they've finished.
When you get home from the grocery store, you might just throw your bologna in your
fridge's meat drawer without a second thought, but this is a common mistake.
It's important to remember that, whenever you buy bologna, you should keep it totally separate from
any raw meats, even in your supermarket cart. It should be placed in a different shopping bag and
stored in a different area of your refrigerator to prevent any accidental contamination.
If you're dealing with both bologna and raw meat at the same time while cooking,
you should make sure to use different cutting boards and knives. The last thing you need is
for an innocent slice of bologna to give you a bout of food poisoning.
"I was dying earlier today… and then I died. Now I'm dead."
Bologna is an American staple at grocery stores, but, as you might expect from its name,
it actually has roots in Italy. Well, sort of. Bologna is the Americanized version of Mortadella,
a similar deli meat that originates near the northern Italian city of Bologna. Mortadella
and bologna are not the same, though, which is a more common misconception than you might imagine.
Bologna can be made out of chicken, pork, or beef, but Mortadella must be made out of pork
and pork alone. This has been a qualification since the 1600s, so Mortadella is solidified in
its distinct identity. Mortadella is usually made using a similar method to bologna,
but it's common to see large pieces of other ingredients, such as pistachios,
olives, and peppercorns, inside each slice. Still, while they aren't exactly the same,
it's probable that, if you like one, you'll enjoy the other.