AS EVERYONE CAN SEE I'M BACK IN MY GARAGE AND IT'S DIFFERENT
THAN NORMAL.
BUT WE ARE REALLY GOING TO TRY TO DELIVER YOU THE BEST SHOW
THAT WE POSSIBLY CAN EVERY NIGHT WHEN WE DO THE SLOW NORMALLY WE
START WITH A MONOLOGUE AND IT IS DIFFICULT TO DO A MONOLOGUE
WITHOUT AN AUDIENCE.
SO WHAT WE HAVE DECIDED TO DO.
WE HAVE MANY, MANY MEMBERS OF OUR "LATE, LATE SHOW" STAFF
HERE.
THEY'RE ZOOMING IN HERE TO HELP US OUT WITH THE MONOLOGUE.
HEY GUYS, HOW ARE YOU DOING.
>> HI JAMES.
>> James: LET'S GET INTO THIS.
THIS IS EXCITING.
NOW OUR FIRST STORY WE WILL TALK ABOUT IS PRESIDENT TRUMP IS NOW
PUSHING CONGRESS FOR AN ADDITIONAL $2 TRILLION SPENDING
BILL TO JUMP START THE ECONOMY.
$2 TRILLION OR OR THE CURRENT PRICE OF THREE ROLLS OF TOILET
PAPER.
I THINK EVERYONE IS ON MUTE, GUYS?
I THINK EVERYONE IS ON MUTE.
YOU GOT TO MAKE SURE TO YOU KNOW -- CAN EVERYONE MAKE SURE YOU
HAVE UNMUTED YOURSELF.
>> NO, WE'RE NOT ON MUTE, JAMES.
>> James: EVERYBODY IS UNMUTED?
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH, NOT.
>> YEAH.
>> James: SO EVERYBODY HEARD THAT JOKE.
>> YES.
>> YEAH.
>> James: WELL, YOU MAYBE ENGAGE A BIT MORE, THAT WOULD BE
HELPFUL.
OKAY.
LET'S KEEP GOING.
LET'S TRY AND KEEP THE ENERGY UP, GUYS.
HERE ANOTHER ONE.
A BIOGRAPHY OF FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP IS SET TO BE
RELASED IN JUNE AND WILL BE CALLED THE HEART OF HER DEAL,
MEL ANIO HOPES IT WILL END UP ON THE BE BEST SELLER LIST.
I THINK THERE'S A DELAY.
I THINK WE MIGHT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE FEED, EVERYBODY, SIGN
OUT AND SIGN BACK IN AGAIN.
>> NO, WE CAN HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR, JAMES, LOUD AND CLEAR.
JUST LIKE BEING IN THE ROOM.
IT'S REALLY AMAZING WHAT THIS MODERN TECHNOLOGY CAN DO YOU
KNOW.
>> SO COOL.
>> James: YEAH, NO, YEAH, SO EVERYBODY-- EVERYBODY HEARD ME
SAY BE BEST SELLER LIST, BE BEST SELLER.
>> YEAH, WE HEARD IT.
>> James: RIGHT.
SO WHY ISN'T ANYBODY LAUGHING?
>> IT'S JUST NOT THAT GREAT, JAMES.
>> LOUISIE'S RIGHT, IT'S JUST NOT A STRONG JOKE.
A BETTER ONE WOULD BE A BIOGRAPHY ON FIRST LADY MELANIA
IS SET TO BE RELEASED IN JUNE IT IS ABOUT PRACTICING SOCIAL
DISTANCING FROM HER HUSBAND FOR THE LAT THREE YEARS.
(LAUGHTER).
>> James: THERE WE GO, THERE WE GO.
THAT IS THE SPIRIT, OKAY.
NOW OKAY, SO LET'S KEEP THAT ENERGY, YEAH.
OKAY MOVING ON.
ONE PART OF THE ECONOMY IS BOOMING RIGHT NOW.
MARIJUANA USE JUST SET AN ALL-TIME RECORD.
SO BREAD ISN'T THE ONLY THING GETTING BAKED ON THIS LOCKDOWN.
OH COME ON, THAT IS A FUNNY JOKE.
THAT IS WITHOUT QUESTION A FUNNY JOKE.
>> YEAH, IT WAS FUNNY.
I JUST THINK THE PROBLEM MIGHT MAN BE YOUR DELIVERY.
MAYBE TRY SOMETHING MORE LIKE, I DON'T KNOW, LIKE THE BREAD'S NOT
THE ONLY THING GETTING BAKED IN THIS LOCKDOWN.
(LAUGHTER).
>> James: WELL, I DIDN'T HAVE THAT JOKE, DID I.
THIS IS MY MONOLOGUE.
I'M THE HOST.
STOP, EVERYBODY, STOP, STOP.
>> SORRY, JAMES.
>> YEAH, WE'RE SORRY.
>> SORRY.
>> >> James: THAT WAS
DISRESPECTFUL.
YOU CARRY ON WITH THE MONOLOGUE.
>> THANK YOU, OKAY.
I FEEL QUITE VULNERABLE.
I'M IN HERE ON MY OWN, YOU KNOW.
LET'S MAKE THIS A SUPPORTIVE-- OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
PRESIDENT TRUMP SIGNED AN EXECUTIVE ORDER THE OTHER DAY TO
ALLOW THE UNITED STATES TO MINE MINERALS FROM BOTH THE MOON AND
MARS.
WELL, TRUMP DID SAY HE WAS GOING TO BRING MINING JOBS BACK, SO
ENJOY THE MOON, MINORS.
-- MINER, NOBODY FOUND THAT FUNNY.
SEE TOM, THERE YOU GO.
TOM, I CAN ALWAYS RELY ON YOU, TOM, YOU FOUND IT FUNNY, THERE
YOU GO, TOM?
>> WHAT, OH, SORRY, I WAS WATCHING BORAT.
>> OH MY GOD, I LOVE BORAT.
>> OH MY GOD.
>> FUNNY.
>> ALL RIGHT, WE'LL FORGET THAT, THAT WAS A BAD IDEA, WE'RE GOING
TO MOVE ON.