CARLY FIORINA IS APPARENTLY HAVING SOME PROBLEMS GETTING
PEOPLE TO APPEAR ON STAGE WITH HER FOR PHOTO OPS.
CONSENSUALLY,
I SHOULD SAY.
SHE IS FINDING A WAY AROUND THAT, SHE IS
KIDNAPPING KIDS NOW.
SHE WAS AT A BOTANICAL GARDEN IN DES MOINES
AND SHE WANTED TO PUT ON A PRO-LIFE DEMONSTRATION, BUT SHE
WANTED SOME KIDS ON THE STAGE SO SHE FOUND A GROUP OF SCHOOL KIDS
THAT WERE AT THE GARDEN AND JUST TOOK THEM AND PUT THEM ON THE
STAGE FOR A PRO-LIFE RALLY.
THEY LOOK LIKE THEY ARE VERY INTERESTED.
A GIGANTIC ABORTED FETUS --
SUPPOSEDLY, WITH HER YOU NEVER KNOW.
THAT COULD BE ANYTHING.
IT DOESN'T HAVE ANY OBLIGATION TO THE FACTS.
THOSE KIDS LOOK LIKE THEY WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAID
YOU KNOW WHAT, I WOULD LIKE TO GO DOWN TO THE BOTANICAL
GARDENS AND MAKE A STATEMENT ABOUT ABORTION.
IT IS BAD ENOUGH THAT THEY HAVE TO GO TO THE BOTANICAL
GARDENS, NOW THEY HAVE TO HANG OUT WITH CARLY FIORINA.
WORST
FIELD TRIP EVER.
YOU MIGHT SAY MAYBE THEY WANTED TO BE
INVOLVED.
NO, THE PARENTS WEREN'T CONSULTED.
CHRIS BECK,
THE FATHER OF ONE OF THE FOUR-YEAR-OLDS THERE -- WE DON'T
KNOW THE FOUR-YEAR-OLD'S POSITION ON ABORTION --
BUT HE SAYS --
HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND SOME OF THE SPECIFICS ABOUT 20 WEEK
BANS VERSUS 16 WEEK BANS --
ALL OF THOSE, BY THE WAY, HAVE A GREATER CHANCE OF BECOMING
PRESIDENT THAN CARLY FIORINA.
RAPHAEL FOR PRESIDENT.
SO THERE WAS NOT ONE SINGLE ADULT AT THE BOTANICAL
GARDENS WHO SAID, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
I'M SURE THERE IS A CHAPERONE, BUT WHEN A
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE SAYS YOU ARE COMING WITH ME -- WHAT ARE
THEY GOING TO DO?
PUSH HER AWAY?
IF I WAS A CHAPERONE, I WOULD.
THAT'S WHAT I WAS WONDERING.
YOU ARE IN IOWA, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THE LEANINGS OF THE CHAPERONES ARE, OR THE PARENTS,
BECAUSE A LOT OF TIMES ON FIELD TRIPS SOME PARENTS COME, SOME
DON'T, ESPECIALLY WITH PRESCHOOLERS.
SO THERE MUST HAVE
BEEN SOME WHO SAW THIS AND THOUGHT, THIS WILL BE COOL.
WHETHER THEY SUPPORT HER OR NOT, BECAUSE I THINK THAT PARTICULAR
PARENT, THEY ASKED HIM LATER, DO YOU KNOW MUCH ABOUT FIORINA, AND
HE SAID I HAVEN'T GIVEN IT MUCH THOUGHT BUT I'M NOT VOTING FOR
HER NOW -- EVEN OUTSIDE OF THAT, SOME OF THESE IDIOTS WERE LIKE,
THIS WILL BE FUN FOR THE KIDS.
WE CAN TELL THEIR PARENTS ABOUT
IT LATER.
YOUR KID WAS ON STAGE WITH A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE,
THINK OF THE MOMENTS.
THAT IS HOW THEY FOUND OUT, ONE OF THE
CHAPERONES OR SOMEONE TOLD HIM YOUR KID WAS ON STAGE, ISN'T
THAT GREAT?
AND THE REACTION WAS BAD.
AND THEY WENT, MAYBE I
SHOULD HAVE KEPT THIS TO MYSELF.
THEY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN.
AND I DON'T KNOW IF WE HAVE ANOTHER PICTURE OF THE
SCENE, BEHIND THEM IS A HUGE PICTURE OF A FETUS.
A FOUR-MONTH-OLD FETUS.
SOMEONE ELSE GOT ON STAGE WITH A FIGURINE, I THINK YOU
WERE GETTING TO THAT --
THEY HAD A FIGURINE OF A FETUS SUCKING IT'S THUMB TO IMPLY
THAT IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT THE SUPREME COURT SAID 40
YEARS AGO, YOU DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE A RIGHT TO AN ABORTION.
I GUESS SHE IS ALSO AGAINST THE FAMILY MEDICAL LEAVE
ACT, I WILL GUESS SHE IS AGAINST FUNDING HEAD START, I WILL GUESS
SHE IS AGAINST ALL THOSE THINGS THAT WOULD HELP THOSE KIDS.
SHE WANTS THOSE KIDS TO HAVE LIFE.
SHITTY, SHITTY LIFE.
AND MOVE TO FLINT MICHIGAN AND DRINK LEAD WATER BECAUSE IT
SAVES US A NICKEL.
I THINK THE SADDEST PART MIGHT BE SHE COULD GET ON STAGE
AND THE KIDS ARE LIKE, THIS IS AMAZING, I FEEL LIKE KIND OF A
CELEBRITY.
AND THEN SHE WENT BACK TO HER INSTINCTS AND SHE
FIRED ALL OF THEM, THREW THEM OUT ON THE STREET.
SHE IS A TERRIBLE CANDIDATE.
I WAS READING ABOUT THIS EXPORTATION OF FOUR-YEAR-OLDS
FOR AN ABORTION RALLY, I WAS READING ABOUT --
IT IS CRAZY THAT THAT IS A SENTENCE.
IF YOU SAY IT OUT LOUD, YOU REALIZE HOW RIDICULOUS IT WAS.
FOUR-YEAR-OLDS THAT SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW.
IT IS NOT
LIKE HER FAMILY.
IT IS NOT LIKE MY NIECES OR NEPHEWS OR
GRANDKIDS AROUND ME, IT IS SOMEBODY ELSE'S KIDS ON STAGE
WITH PICTURES OF ABORTED FETUSES.
THE GUARDIAN COVERED
THIS, I WAS READING THE STORY, AND THEY HAD REFERRED TO -- SHE
IS NOW FAMOUS FOR HER STANCE ON THE PLANNED PARENTHOOD EDITED,
DOCTORED VIDEOS THAT HAVE BEEN DEBUNKED.
THE GUARDIAN REFERRED
TO THEM, I SWEAR TO GOD, AS DISPUTED VIDEOS.
THAT PISSED ME OFF TOO.
THEY HAVE BEEN DEBUNKED, THOSE ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.
SHE LIED.
THE GUY WHO PUT THEM TOGETHER ADMITTED THAT THEY ARE FUCKING
PHONY VIDEOS.
SO THEY ARE NOT DISPUTED ANYMORE.
NOBODY
DISPUTES --
THE STUFF IN THE VIDEO ISN'T WHAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE.
AND SHE WAS REFERRING TO STUFF THAT WASN'T EVEN IN THE
EDITED VERSION.
AND I THOUGHT THE GUARDIAN WAS LIKE A LEFTY, PROGRESSIVE
NEWSPAPER.
I GUESS YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY SHE SAID THAT SHE SAW
SOMETHING, BUT WE LOOKED INTO IT AND SHE WAS FUCKING LYING.
WHY NOT WRITE THAT?
WHY DO PEOPLE GET THEIR NEWS FROM YOUTUBE?
BECAUSE WE FRAME
IT PROPERLY, BECAUSE WE DON'T KOWTOW TO BULLSHIT.
AND I LIKE
THE GUARDIAN, THEY DO GOOD WORK MOST OF THE TIME, BUT EVEN
THERE, YOU GO, GOD DAMN.
THAT IS SAD, BUT GOOD NEWS, SHE IS AT LIKE 1.5%.
IF I AM POLLING AT 1.5%, I'M THINKING I'M JUST GOING TO STAY
IN THIS AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.
SHE DOESN'T THINK SHE IS GOING TO
WIN, SO AT THIS POINT I AM THINKING, I'M STAYING IN AS LONG
AS I CAN SO MY SPEAKER FEES GO UP AND THIS BOOK I WRITE, THE
NEXT TWO BOOKS, GO UP.
STOP USING OTHER PEOPLE, YOU ARE NOT
GOING TO WIN.
JUST FLY WHERE YOU ARE ON THE RADAR.
CHILL OUT.
I
DON'T GET DOING THIS.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO BALLS OUT BECAUSE YOU
ARE NOT CLOSE.
RUBIO AND CRUZ AND BUSH, BECAUSE OF HIS NAME,
THEY HAVE TO GO BALLS OUT.
MAYBE SHE THINKS THERE IS STILL TIME FOR DONALD TRUMP AND
TED CRUZ TO CRATER AND SHE COULD BLOW UP.
I HEAR SHE IS WORKING
ON A KIDS BOOK, IT IS FILLED WITH ILLUSTRATIONS SHE
STOLE FROM THOSE KIDS.