Kelly Edwards, Staff Writer, Author, Producer: We always think that
everybody's shining light on us, we always think it's all about us,
but really they're the stars of their own movie. They are not looking at you.
Film Courage:
Have you ever tried to write under a pen name, where you felt like you could really just let
it all go and no one's going to judge you? Or you do and we don’t need to know the pen name?
Kelly: No, I don't think I've ever I do know that I think years and years and years ago I'd written
a screenplay and I submitted it to someone to read under a different name just because I thought it
was it was a little tricky situation and I didn't get any response so I was like okay that's fine
and in retrospect it was not it was again it was a very concept-y idea it was a very scribble
comedy kind of thing but I hadn't done any of the work I wasn't you know I needed 30 years to bake
before that kind of thing was was willing to come out in the right way but no I haven't thought
about a pen name I think this for me though again I'm at an age now where I don't care so
and even I've offered to let my kids read my stuff and it doesn't you know they're adults so
you know we watch HBO together so what am I going to say that's not you know that's not already out
there I don't think that there's anything that I could expose that that isn't you know exposable
sure you know as a human being I think we all go through a lot of those same
things I think the failure would be on my part if I didn't right like they wanted what are you doing
it for yeah but I mean even barring some heinous crime still people you know there's there's
there's going to be judgment unfortunately and and being okay with that is a really
interesting place to get to sure and I'm not even talking about you know doing something horrible
but just you know whatever it is and and but who cares about the judgment I mean ultimately I don't
I you know let me just say this I had I had a big fight with myself when I wrote this book
I brought the book yeah so I i had a big fight with myself when I wrote this book because
you know it is it is sort of semi-memorised it's very you know personal in a lot of ways
but it's also hopefully a manual to navigating some of the craziness that is hollywood right
and for me the biggest challenge was not even writing the book it was the moment where
I realized that the book was going to go out right now all of a sudden
everything is exposed you know so I
of course went through panic and then the other part of the panic was
i I had to have a social media presence and I was not good I was the worst facebook friend on the
planet I did not do twitter at all I did not do instagram I was never on Linkedin it was just an
annoyance you know and I and my publisher said you need to have a social media presence and I went oh
all I'd seen on social media was was people bashing other people I didn't see any support love
you know camaraderie I see it now I see it I'm on some of the screen screenwriter and the writer you
know chat rooms or whatever and I don't even know what you call them chat rooms the the threads and
and people are incredibly supportive which I just love but I did not really want to put myself out
for that kind of exposure because the vitriol can be damaging right but ultimately I realized that
I was getting in my way for no reason no good reason because there will always be a percentage
of people maybe ten percent of people who right away when you post something they will come back
and they're usually the first ones who post that say something negative or they contradict
you they come up with the you know you say blue and they go no no it's actually not blue
and there's there's always that and I was afraid of that terrified of that and
and I just really had to get over myself because I thought
something my grandmother used to say which is and she just passed away maybe a year ago she said
ain't nobody looking at you and that really struck resonated with me because I thought
yeah we always think that everybody's shining light on us they we always think it's all about us
but really they're the stars of their own movie they are not looking at you so I really had to
get out of my way and go okay there may be some of that that comes back and that's okay
but for the most part if somebody finds value in this that's worth it right it's worth it if one
more person navigates a situation where they're coming to pitch or they're going to reach out to
an executive or they're going to a panel and they don't know what to say and they want to you know
ask a question at the q a or they want to network at an event or whatever they're getting notes
from somebody if that one person can find some value and can navigate it a little bit more and
get through the finish line a little bit quicker then that's what the whole point of the book was
and then the book has succeeded so sometimes you just gotta get out of your own way and and realize
that I don't know that it it matters in the grand scheme of things 100 years from now who's going to
or they might care in a good way they might care a good way you know so what point do you feel like
then you were able to go okay the book's coming out and that's a good thing and not be
terrified or or maybe I mean it's scary I don't know that I i think I i think I got over the fear
of all that when people started to say oh I've seen your posts and I really like them
or I really enjoyed the whatever you you know I i think too it might have been I did this thing
I did the piece as a piece for a Variety Cynthia Littleton was so great about it and I i said you
know I'd called her up and I said hey I've been thinking about posting this piece about diversity
and would you like to take a look at it and she goes yeah and then she calls me back she goes
I'd like to run this and I was and the feedback that I got from people was was wonderful and
I think with every little step where you gain a little bit more confidence you go okay I did that
maybe I can do this and maybe I can post the fact that I'm writing a novel on my my on this blog
and maybe I can you know do something about the oscars that just happened
maybe I can just sort of venture out a little bit more and when you don't fall off the cliff and you
get up the next day and the sun at sun is still shining and you realize that you're
still breathing it's not that bad and you just have to keep going I think that to
if you think about your whole career I certainly think about this in my career and you think about
how it's really just a matter of you putting one step in front of the other right one foot in front
of the other until you get someplace and you don't think about it at the time but then you look back
and you go wow I did that and I did not know where I was going but look at where I am today
I started a non-profit back in 2000 with a friend of mine Bruce Evans and we did not realize that 22
years later we would still have this non-profit and that it would be impacting people's lives
like crazy we just did one little thing at a time it was we took some people to dinner
and then we took a couple more people to dinner and then we connected more people and then we
did mentoring programs and and invited you know major studio network heads to join this group and
and then we sort of now we're doing a leadership program so it's it's organic it happened slowly
but it's just one little piece at a time I think it's also like raising children you know I had one
kid and then I had two more kids and you just keep factoring them in until you you learn how to do it
better but I do think that there's a a progression that happens naturally and automatically and
you're never quite sure where it's going to end up you can have an idea and then you know
either those that that pathway opens up for you it doesn't open up for you and you find a new pathway
just like writing executive you know career back to writing.