- Hey everyone, today we're gonna talk
about three CBT techniques that can help you
overcome social anxiety.
And also, I wanna give a huge thank you
to The Great Courses Plus,
who is sponsoring this video.
First, let's define the term anxiety.
Anxiety is a feeling of worry,
nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event
or something with an uncertain outcome.
Now, when we talk about social anxiety,
that worry or nervousness is focused primarily
on social interactions,
and in order to specifically target social anxiety,
we have to understand anxiety as a whole,
and anxiety is created and sustained
by three different components.
The physiological component, cognitive, and behavioral.
Now, the physiological part
is how anxiety feels in our body.
Could be a racing heart, sweaty palms,
flushed face, or even feeling faint,
and this is one of the most important components
of anxiety because it's the first one people notice.
If you suffer from panic attacks,
those symptoms would fall under this portion.
The second is the cognitive part.
Now, cognitive is, honestly, it's just a fancy way
of saying thoughts or thought processes.
Any anxious thoughts that we have
would fall into this category.
Many of my patients report thinking,
"I'm gonna make a fool of myself," or,
"Ugh, they'll just think that I'm so boring."
So, any prediction that comes out
of our anxiety would be considered part
of the cognitive portion.
And the third is the behavioral part.
For something to be part of this component,
it needs to be something that someone else
could notice us doing or not doing.
Could be not making eye contact,
looking away, stuttering, or even walking quickly by.
This could also be something we
aren't doing because we're avoiding it completely,
but someone would still notice
that we didn't go to lunch with the team like everyone else,
therefore avoiding something because
of our anxiety would still fall under this category.
Now, most people with social anxiety
don't just experience one of these components.
In fact, these three parts usually work together
to intensify our anxiety episodes.
For example, let's just say that your boss
comes over to your desk and says that they would like
to see you after lunch.
You could automatically think that you must
have done something wrong or that you're,
you know, in really big trouble for something.
Then, you begin to feel your muscles tighten,
your heart starts to race, and you begin to sweat.
Then, you may dread going in to see them in their office,
trying to put it off as long as you can
or even struggle to make eye contact
once you get in there.
So, you can see, just based on that simple example,
how all three components almost happen automatically
when we struggle with anxiety.
Therefore, in order to overcome our social anxiety,
we're gonna have to fight back
against all three of them,
and the first step to fighting back
is doing systemic graduated exposure,
which is honestly just another fancy way
of saying that we're going to have
to slowly expose ourselves to the scary
or anxiety-provoking thing until
it's no longer so scary or anxiety-provoking.
Now, I've talked about exposure therapy
in the past and this is very similar.
However, it is specific to social anxiety
and its treatment, and it's important that
this type of exposure therapy be done
with a mental health professional
so that we can role-play different scenarios in session
and get feedback on how it went.
It also allows us to play out any situations
or circumstances that we're afraid
will happen when we try to do this outside of therapy.
This type of treatment works so well
because it allows us to practice exactly
what it is that we need or want to do,
and we get to say what it is that we need to say
and imagine what someone else would say back,
and then we get feedback immediately after
about how it went.
It also works because it gives you
the time you need to see that any
of the bodily responses you're having to the anxiety,
like shaky knees, racing heart,
all of that will go away after awhile.
As long as we're to stay in the anxiety-provoking situation,
'cause let's be honest, we usually don't, right?
Instead, we assume that we'll have felt terrible
and anxious forever if we didn't run away
or find a way to leave immediately.
But, staying in it, we can realize
that our feelings of anxiety only last
for a little bit, and the more we practice it
and expose ourselves to those anxious experiences,
the better it gets.
Also, by role-playing
an anxiety-provoking situation in therapy,
we can test out any of our dysfunctional beliefs,
meaning that if we worry that when we stand up
and give a presentation at work,
that we're gonna sneeze and spit all over our boss
and have to walk out in shame.
We can practice giving our presentation,
pretending that our therapist is our boss,
and see just how unlikely that scenario really is.
It's sort of another way of testing our anxious beliefs
to show us just how faulty they are.
And step number two is cognitive restructuring,
which is just another fancy saying,
but it really means that we are going
to safely question any beliefs,
assumptions, or expectations that we have.
Just like I mentioned before,
we may believe that when we give our presentation,
we're gonna sneeze on our boss
and we have to walk out in shame.
This portion of treatment helps us acknowledge
that expectation and learn to healthfully question it.
Just like I said before, if we're role-playing,
we can see just how unlikely it is
that that's actually gonna happen,
and part of that is kinda the cognitive restructuring.
Now, how this would work in therapy
is that you and your therapist
will begin noticing any beliefs,
assumptions, or expectations that you have
that may be false or only making your anxiety worse.
You know, bringing these up in session
and work together to question them
to see if they really make sense
or are actually helpful in your life.
Now, I know this can sound intense and really terrifying,
but know that all of this is done slowly and with care.
As you role-play different
anxiety-producing social situations,
you can assess all of this out.
You can even start today, honestly,
by simply noticing what it is you're worried
will happen if you do the thing you feel anxious about.
By taking the time to question those beliefs
or the thoughts that come up,
we're not only changing and challenging
the cognitive component of anxiety,
but we're also decreasing the avoidance
or behavioral component, so it's kinda like a two-in-one.
The third and final tip is to practice in real life.
Every social anxiety treatment
is going to involve some homework outside of therapy
because just practicing things in therapy
isn't going to make doing it in real life any easier.
We have to push ourselves to try new things out
and report back how it went.
This homework could also include
just keeping track of our anxious
or dysfunctional thoughts, maybe reading certain books
or working in a workbook,
but it will need to be done outside
of your therapy sessions, and it's really important
to remember to be honest with your therapist
during this part of your work together
because we need to let them know
what we'll be able to do or not do.
It doesn't help us to just say,
"Yes, I'm gonna do all this homework, this is fine,"
if we really aren't gonna be able to follow through.
So, if you feel that they're going too fast
or pushing you too hard, let them know, speak up,
and just by doing that, you're already practicing
being assertive and speaking up for yourself,
which are both things, to be honest,
that my patients with social anxiety struggle with a lot.
Thanks again to The Great Courses Plus
for sponsoring this video.
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I completed their CBT course on anxiety and fear,
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And I dunno about you, but after watching something
that's kind of intense and I need time to digest,
I like to watch something funny or silly on YouTube,
so go ahead and click over there
and check out those videos and take some time
to relax and absorb all that you learned today.
And remember, together, we're working towards a healthy mind
and a healthy body, and I'll see you next time, bye.