Heya playa, do you ever find yourself flirting with your crush and feeling like it's going
well but ultimately questioning what it's going to lead to because they're in a relationship?
Are they going to break up with their boyfriend or girlfriend? Do they actually want to be
with you? That's the question I'm going to answer and I'm going to give you my honest
straight forward answer right after this. This is The Josh Speaks, you're watching The
Josh Speaks. For those of you that are new here, my name is Josh and every single week
I make videos sharing tips, ideas, and stories teaching you how to be your best self. So
if you want to learn and grow, hit the subscribe button and make sure to click on the notification
bell. Now the first question that comes to mind whenever you're flirting with someone
is why. Why are they flirting with you? Especially if it's someone that's in a relationship,
why are they taking the time to talk to me, to joke around with me, to learn more about
me. This is always the most confusing part because you might feel like because they're
in a relationship there's no need for them to get attention and flirt with other people
but it's actually not true. People enjoy the attention of other people, people like when
others are interested in them, want to learn more about them and heck even like them so
when someone's in a relationship that doesn't stop them from wanting to flirt with someone
outside of it. Now keep in mind, every relationship is different. In some relationships, people
won't even allow their partner to have friends they don't approve of while on the other end
you might see that people are ok with knowing that their partner is talking to, flirting
or chatting with someone else. Now for you, you might just be caught in the middle of
not exactly knowing what their status is. All you know is that the person that you like
is flirting with you but they're dating someone else. So what do you make of it all? Should
you keep doing it? Should you keep pushing forward? This is where it's important to set
your own personal boundaries. Because that person is in a relationship you should do
all that you can to be respectful of that. To not interfere or intrude to try to break
them up just because you like that person. My philosophy on it is this, if you were in
a relationship with that person would you want other people interfering and trying to
break it up? Probably not so I think it's best to not do that in their relationship
as well. But they're the one flirting with you? What are you supposed to make of it all?
This is a person you like and want to be with so, isn't it the right thing to continue down
the path? If they break up that's their own choice, right? Sometimes people find themselves
in situations where they're attracted to you but they have no intention of ever dating
you. That's because they enjoy the attention that you're giving them. They like knowing
that people like them, people want to talk to them, people want to pursue them and sometimes
being in a relationship you don't always get that because you're secure. You have what
you want in that partner so getting validation from someone else feels good. But, it can
and most inevitably will lead to mixed signals as we're seeing here. And the last thing you
want to do is to be on a path with that person that's going to make their partner jealous
or angry with you or resentful of the fact that you're talking to them. Remember, the
whole point here is to be respectful of other people. And even if that person that you're
flirting with, the person that you like, your crush isn't being respectful of their own
relationship it's important for you to be the bigger person here and step up. And stepping
us doesn't just mean to not cross any boundaries between you and your crush that would be considered
cheating it also means being respectful of yourself. Look, you don't even want to be
a person's second choice, their second ringer, the person that they run to whenever they
get into a fight with their boyfriend or girlfriend. You want to be the person that they choose
to be with and if they're only talking to you and flirting with you so they can get
attention from you, that's not the position you want to have. I'm sure it feels good whenever
they send you a DM or laugh at your joke or just want to be around you but you have to
just ask yourself, what is it ultimately leading to? Are you guys eventually going to turn
into a couple or are you just that person that's their fallback? Their go-to person
whenever they get into a fight with their boyfriend or girlfriend and they need someone
to vent to and to talk to? So if you're looking for the exact words to use to see where this
is going here's what you should say. "Hey, I really like you and I want to get to know
you better but I know you're dating someone else and I want to be respectful of that so
if you want to continue talking to me with the intention of us going somewhere and this
building to something, let's do that. But if that's not the case then I think it's better
that we keep our distance for now." Saying something like that lets them know that you're
interested. It's going to help prevent you from falling into the friend zone and them
turning around and going "What I thought we were just friends and connecting?". It's going
to allow them to see that you want to build something with them and if they want to build
that too, you guys can head on that journey. But if not, you're not going to be strung
along. You're gonna stand up for yourself and you're gonna let them know how you feel.
I'm curious though, what do you think? Have you ever liked someone or do you currently
like someone that is in a relationship but you just don't really know where to take it
with them? Leave your comments down below and we'll talk about it. Relationships of
all kind are tricky, I know. And sometimes when you're in a situation like this it's
very easy to get friend-zoned so, what I want you to do next is to check out the video over
there on the side that's going to kind of help you recognize whether or not you're in
the friend zone right now with the person that you like. Also if you want to learn more
about my story and my experience growing up, dealing with relationships and how I learned
to be more secure and confident with myself, check out my book over there on the side,
it's called Embracing The Awkward. I think you would really like it, you'd understand
me a little bit more and you'd see how to figure out these situations a lot better.
On that note guys, I'll catch you next time. As always, love and peace.