as people we have the tendency of
avoiding discomfort and we structure our
lives so as to do just that but there's
a problem with this there's a great many
things that are uncomfortable that are
in fact good for us
awareness is not comfortable because it
entails accepting things we would rather
deny but it's good for us to be aware
exercise is uncomfortable but it's good
for us
growth is uncomfortable but it's good
for us and perhaps most of all change is
uncomfortable but it is good for us in
the effort to avoid discomfort we tend
to trap ourselves in situations that are
comfortably dissatisfying for example we
stay in a job that we hate we stay in
the relationship that doesn't
necessarily feel good we don't make
changes to our lives we get stuck in
routines we use coping mechanisms that
make us feel better in the short term
but that ruin our lives in the long run
and all this leads to it being
impossible for us to live a life that we
actually dream of I have an analogy for
you that I want to give you you can
think of discomfort as being the thing
that causes change it's a bit like when
you take a stove and you turn the heat
up so high that the flames cause so much
discomfort that you make the change you
take your hand off of the heat and you
get out of the flames now most of us
because we don't like that discomfort we
kind of build our lives on top of coals
they're still hot it's not really
something that feels good to us but it's
not causing the discomfort that's
necessary for us to make a change but
here's what happens if you build your
life on coals the heats still there it's
just not very high you're still getting
burnt but slowly enough that even though
you don't see real issues in the short
term you're getting slowly burned alive
so you may look back years later and
realize oh my gosh I'm completely
charred and you didn't even notice
there's a technique that I can give you
that turns up the flames in advance so
that instead of living your life in
those coals you can see the areas of
your life that have to change we can
turn
the heat up so as to make that change
before we get completely burned right
now I want you to close your eyes I want
you to take a look at your life right
now today here now look at the people in
your life look at the things you do
every day look at the way things feel
look at the way you're thinking how are
you living your life I want you to just
spend a moment looking at your life
right now today
now I want you to imagine that if you
change nothing about yourself nothing
about the things you're doing nothing
about the ways you're thinking but you
fast forward you play it forward one
month now I want you to look at your
life
what has changed has anything gotten
worse or if nothing's changed is
something more unbearable
now I want you to do the same thing but
imagine that you're looking at a year
from now you've changed nothing about
yourself nothing about the things you're
doing nothing about the way you're
thinking what does your life look like
with those conditions in one year's time
has anything become more unbearable has
anything changed
now I want you to look at your life same
thing nothing's changed about you what
you've been doing the things you've been
thinking in five years so you're playing
it forward from where you are right now
with nothing changing about you in five
years what do you see
now try 10 years if you fast-forward
exactly the same just doing the same
things thinking the same things same
people maybe tenders what do you notice
maybe some relationships have ended
maybe they haven't ended and they really
should have what changes do you see that
you didn't make that are now really
biting you big time what has become
unbearable what has failed now I want
you to look at 20 years
we're playing the tape forward 20 years
what does your life look like
I'm gonna make it just a little bit more
uncomfortable 40 years some of you may
be dead now some of you may be not 40
years where are you in 40 years
no for a final one I want you to see
yourself on your deathbed if nothing
changed from the first point that you
started this if nothing changed about
you not the way you're thinking now the
things you're doing nothing about you
changed and you're on your deathbed now
what do you notice what do you regret
what do you wish you would have done
what would you now have the courage to
do that you didn't then what did you
realize
now for some of you this process that I
just took you through is something that
you're gonna have to pause this video
and go deeper into perhaps I didn't
spend enough time on any one of these
steps perhaps it would be best for you
to go as deep into each one of these
steps or timeframes as you possibly can
to really understand what it is it needs
to change the most important thing to
understand is you now know what needs to
change the things that bothered you in
any of these timelines is what has to
change about your life now the thing I
need you to realize is that this fate
that you have just seen is the one that
you are headed towards if you choose
mild dissatisfaction or the discomfort
of change I don't need to tell you
anything else in this video just doing
this process tells you enough my only
suggestions leave you with is to get out
of the coals have a good week