- Persuasion secret number 6.
- Steven.
(gentle electronic music)
- Confidence.
- [Steven] Confidence.
Now, this is a persuasion.
Why is this a persuasion secret?
So, for me self-confidence is,
if you ever watch Sifu's Ted Talks.
How many of you guys have seen Sifu's Ted Talk,
Invisible Force?
Anybody watch that one before?
- It's a good one.
- It is such, I don't think most people understand
how powerful that is.
If you follow Sifu's mentor, Big Dan, Dan Peña.
Dan Peña says exactly the same thing.
Your self image is so critical whenever you are
in any kind of persuasion, environment situation.
If you don't believe in what you sell, right,
whether it's yourself or a product or a service.
How can you expect other people to be persuaded?
- And confidence comes from competence.
Meaning you gotta be good at what you do.
Right?
I'm not talking people always confuse arrogance
with confidence.
They think they pop their chest, 'I'm confident.'
Look at like sometimes even social media.
Right.
I see guys where comments like,
"Oh, Watch out Dan Lok.
I'm gonna to be like you in nine years."
"I'm gonna to be like you in 5 years"
"I'm gonna be, watch out."
And I'm like, like you know competing.
You ain't shit.
Right?
They like talk.
Cause I see in two, three, five years later
still do the same shit.
Still the same place.
Right?
That's not, that's arrogance.
A confident person comes from the point of view,
'I can learn from everybody.'
"What can I learn from this person?"
The have community.
They are humble.
They're learning,
"Okay wow, I can learn from everybody"
Not trying to compete and all these stuff.
Just learn.
Right?
This person is getting more results.
What can I learn from this person?
Right?
Not just coming from all insecurity, and puffing their chest
"Oh I'm so good, and I'm this and that."
It's not about that kind of stuff.
So confidence.
Why is it such a powerful persuasion secret?
Because, at this day and age, day and age,
a lot of uncertainty in the marketplace.
I've said this on YouTube.
I'll share that with you again.
Most of the time, for what we're selling,
we're selling certainty,
write it down,
in an uncertain world.
We're selling certainty in an uncertain world.
I don't care what products or services you're selling.
I want you to think about this.
It's very critical.
We're selling certainty in an uncertain world.
And part of how you could give people certainty,
you feel confident about what you offer.
You feel confident about the results you can produce,
about the work that you,
about the value you deliver,
about the impact you could have.
That's confidence.
Most people have no self, low self-confidence,
or no confidence,
cause their stuff is no good.
They not good at what they do.
They don't deliver a lot of value.
They don't deliver results.
Of course they have no confidence.
When I, let's take public speaking,
- Mm hmm.
- At first when I had low confidence,
or no confidence, right,
I would remember the first time I had to deliver a speech
in front of an audience in high school, right.
And, my English teacher, Ms. Fellons said,
"Oh you gotta do this speech."
and I said,
"No, I don't wanna do this speech."
And eventually she convinced me to do it.
And she "I'll coach you, stay after school.
I'll coach you."
I remember the first time in my head to deliver a speech
in front of, I don't know, twenty people,
like my fellow classmates.
And I would be so nervous.
So I would walk in and I would have my word for word script.
In front, and my hand would be like this,
I can't, just like this, all right.
And I kinda hold it.
My hand shaking all the way.
Well it's just a short, like five, six minute speech,
but I was so nervous because I had no confidence.
- Hmm.
- And I didn't know what I was doing.
Til later on, when I joined Toastmasters Nonprofit
honing my skills learning how to talk to people, right.
How to communicate,
and I started gaining the confidence.
As I got better, and better, and better, and better.
More and more, more, more, more in practice.
And hours of practice.
Then, yeah, then I don't, I get less nervous, less nervous.
But I still get nervous, but not like uncontrollable shake.
I get nervous, but I still get sweaty palms and ya know.
My heart would be pounding faster before I go up there.
I would get a little bit that too.
Of course, fast forward today.
Then, it's all zero, right.
It's just, doesn't matter if I speak to a group
of hundred, one thousand, five thousand.
It really does not matter.
I go up there,
And because I've don't it for so long.
So the confidence comes from,
confidence comes from doing.
Comes from repetition.
Write it down.
Comes from repetition.
Think about the things in your life that you are good at.
Right now.
Maybe you good at playing the piano.
Maybe you good at playing the violin.
Maybe you good at playing certain sports game,
or golf, or fishing, or swimming.
Think about something, tell me,
something you're good at right now
that if I was to sit down with you,
and I want you to show me how you do what you do.
You'll be very confident.
Maybe, it's cooking.
Maybe, it's whatever it is, maybe it's fixing a car, right?
Give me some example.
Basketball, yes.
Baseball, magic, yes.
- Magic. (laughing)
- Video golf, video games, math,
programming, dancing, driving.
Good!
So, think about all these things.
Think of all the things that you are,
you feel very, very confident in.
Let me ask you the question.
How many hours you put into this particular thing
that you feel very confident in?
How many hours?
How many days?
How many years?
There you go.
It's the reason you're confident
because you've done the work.
It comes from repetition.
But yet most people, right,
especially comes from, comes to business,
they want to be,
"I want to feel. I want to feel."
"Sifu, how can be more confidence as a copywriter?"
"How many hours have you put into copywriting?"
"Oh, I watch your class for two hours."
Dude, that's the problem.
- (laughing)
- You spent two fucking hours learning to be a copywriter.
How could you be confident?
I wouldn't be confident, right.
But, after you've done it.
Repetition, repetition, again and again.
And now okay, I've written a lot of copy.
I've seen a lot of different things.
Same thing with closing.
And in new H-T-C students, right?
When they first learn H-T-C,
high ticket closing.
"Sifu, I'm not real confident.
I don't know how to do this."
Tell me how many hours have you role played?
"Oh, about three hours."
That's the issue.
You've only, it's like you've only been Chinese,
you only learn it for three hours.
Give yourself some credit, right.
You're not Superman.
You're not Superwoman.
Maybe, you are.
But, it's not three hours.
Anything you're good at in your life,
you're confident right now.
You spent a fucking ridiculous amount of hours on it.
To get to a point where, "I'm good."
That's true confidence.
So, you need to understand.
It's the same.
It's the same in business.
It's like financial confidence.
"Sifu, I'm not very confident I can make my business work."
"I'm not very confident I can close sales."
"I'm not very confident I don't know how to make money."
If you think of money compare to that as a hobby,
as a sport.
Think about compare that, no different to any basketball.
No different to any baseball.
No different in fishing.
How many hours you have spend
in your life learning about money?
How to make it?
How to keep it and how to invest it?
Answer it.
Tell me.
How many hours you have spent learning?
How to make?
How to keep it and how to invest it?
I have spent decades,
years of my life,
since I was in high school, learning how money works.
How business works.
How investing works.
How communication works.
How persuasion works.
That's difference.
So give yourself some time.
Give yourself some time.
You have that sense of urgency,
at the same time you gotta have that patience.
Don't go into the whole shiny object syndrome.
Go from one thing to another.
Money follows mastery.
Say it with me.
Money follows mastery.
Get good at something.
Really focus and get good at something.
The money comes.
Think about now the thing that you're very good at.
Sport, hobby, passionate you're very good at.
You can do it, effortlessly.
Correct?
Or I can do it quite easily.
Effortlessly to you.
But when other people look at you, they're like,
"Wow, how did you do that?"
"How could you play that song that way?"
"How do you play that instrument so well?"
"How do you shoot that ball so well?
This is incredible."
You're like, "What's the big deal?
Just do it this way.
Just do it this way."
It's so effortless to you,
but to outside, it's
"I don't know how you do it, man."
Because you've been doing it for so many years.
To you at this point, unconscious competence.
So it looks effortless to other people.
It looks effortless
because you're putting so much fucking effort.
That's why it looks effortless.
People think it's effortless.
No, it looks effortless.
But it's not effortless.
Now, is it?
That's the difference.
So, as ya ask,
Could you see if you wanna become who you want it,
and get what you want.