-Donald Trump and his loyalists in the Republican Party
are as laser-focused as they ever have been
on subverting future elections to regain power,
as they demonstrated yet again
at another deranged rally in Arizona over the weekend.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
[ Theme music plays ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Well, today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day,
which means it's a day full of Republican politicians
who support voter-suppression efforts
and have spent months fanning a crazed right-wing panic
over so-called critical race theory,
deceptively quoting Dr. King out of context,
like the new governor of Virginia, Glenn Youngkin,
who signed an executive order banning the teaching
of critical race theory on his first day in office
and then went on Fox News and quoted Dr. King.
-We're not gonna teach our children
to view everything through a lens of race.
Yes, we will teach all history, the good and the bad,
because we can't know where we're going
unless we know where we have come from.
But to actually teach our children
that one group is advantaged, and another is disadvantaged,
simply because of the color of their skin,
cuts across everything we know to be true.
And the immortal words of Dr. Martin Luther King
ring in our ears that we must judge one another
by the content of our character, not the color of our skin.
-It's, like, the only MLK line Republicans have ever read.
[ Laughter ]
It's like how the only Chumbawamba song
anyone knows is "Tubthumping," even though they have tons more.
There's one where they get knocked down
and don't get back up again. It's super sad.
Played it at my grandpa's funeral.
[ Laughter ]
See?
This is what happens when you do a show
in an empty apartment for a week.
[ Laughter ]
You forget how jokes go
when they're in a room full of human beings with souls.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, anyway, Republicans quote Dr. King
the way Trump confidently dances to "YMCA,"
but doesn't seem to know anything
about the Village People or the context of the song.
-♪ Young man, are you listening to me? ♪
♪ I said, young man, what do you want to be? ♪
-"YMCA. We love the YMCA.
Don't we, folks? And you know who else loves it?
The cop, the sailor, and of course, the leather daddy.
Oh, they love -- they love to go to the YMCA
and swim a few laps before they go out on dates
with their wives and girlfriends."
[ Laughter ]
And even when they do try quoting
any other MLK line, they apparently can't be
bothered to read any further
than the exact quote they're looking for.
Today, for example, Florida Senator Marco Rubio
tweeted this deceptively quoted line from Dr. King's
"I Have a Dream" speech without any additional context.
"When the architects of our republic
wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution
and the Declaration of Independence,
they were signing a promissory note
to which every American was to fall heir."
Did you read any further than that,
or did you just pull up the text of the speech
and do a Control-F
for "things that make it sound like he agrees with me"?
'Cause, dude, you got to read just like two more lines,
and then you'll see that the rest of the quote says,
"This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men,
as well as white men, would be guaranteed
the unalienable rights of life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness. It is obvious today
that America has defaulted on this promissory note
insofar as are citizens of color are concerned."
Man, it's times like these
that you just wish Rubio would go back to his old job
as the picture that comes with the frame.
[ Laughter ]
I know they're liars and con artists,
but Dr. King was essentially
saying, "You made a promise and you didn't keep it."
And Rubio just quoted the "you made a promise" part.
That would be like quoting "Since U Been Gone,"
but not the chorus. [ Laughter ]
As Kelly Clarkson said,
"And all you'd ever hear me say is how I picture me with you.
That's all you'd ever hear me say."
Moving words about a love that lasted forever.
[ Laughter ]
Of course, all of these outrageous
bad-faith misrepresentations of what Dr. King said
are happening as Republicans led by Trump
are actively engaged in attempts to suppress votes
and subvert future elections. It's now been over a year
since Trump unleashed a violent mob on the Capitol,
with rioters who waved, among other things, Confederate flags.
And we know that not only
did Trump sic that mob on the Capitol,
he gleefully watched them on TV
as they tried to overthrow democracy.
And he refused to do anything about it,
as even his closest allies privately pleaded
with his chief of staff to put a stop to the riot.
And yet Trump is still walking around,
lumbering into arena rallies
in that oversize coat and red hat like a mobster
who has to umpire a Little League Baseball game
to fix the score.
"Strike 3. You're out."
"But that was the first pitch."
"He could get last, and the only thing
you'll be sliding into is the East River."
[ Laughter ]
Trump is still free, somehow,, despite multiple
investigations into his business and political activity,
including his attempt to shake down
the Georgia secretary of state to quote,
"find" enough votes for him to win.
Now, I could cite any number of legal experts
or constitutional scholars,
but, instead, I'd like to highlight an esteemed voice
who I consider far more of an authority on these issues.
That's right. Little Steven.
-What kind of country we live in where the guy is not charged?
-We're living in an asylum. Okay?
We're living in an insane asylum right now.
Okay? You know, if -- If you --
If you commit your crimes in broad daylight,
uh, then it's okay.
I mean, I could make -- I could make a case right now,
you know, that we, you know,
that this guy is guilty of treason 10 times over.
But he's on videotape saying,
"Go down, overthrow the government."
The guy is a criminal in the criminal empire.
And the more, the bigger his crimes,
the more public they are, the more he gets away with it.
And this is why Biden's approval rating is so low.
Okay? It's because America respects strength, you know,
and they'll even take it from a phony buffoon,
you know, blowhard like -- like Trump, who's not strong,
but he pretends to be strong, so they even go with that.
We got the biggest criminal in the world
running around playing golf. We can't even arrest him.
I love -- love --
listening to political opinions in that accent.
It makes me feel like I'm in a taxicab
begging the driver to keep his eyes on the road.
[ Laughter ]
I'm surprised he didn't end his rant with,
"So, uh, near corner or far corner?"
[ Laughter ]
Honestly, they should let Steven
prosecute the case against Trump,
although they'd probably just make him share a mic
with Merrick Garland. [ Laughter ]
It's also remarkable how Trump has driven everyone so insane,
they're becoming more and more like their fictional characters.
Arnold Schwarzenegger brandished his Conan sword,
De Niro's dropping F-bombs like he's in "Goodfellas,"
and now Little Steven is saying people respect strength,
like he's advising Tony on what to do about Uncle Junior.
Next thing you know, Nic Cage is gonna try to steal
the actual Declaration of Independence.
"We have to protect it from Donald Trump!
Go see, 'Pig!'"
[ Laughter ]
So, Trump is still walking free, despite what you would think
is overwhelming evidence of his guilt,
including the fact that he fomented a violent insurrection
to overturn an election that resulted last week
in seditious-conspiracy charges
against some of the key militia figures involved.
-11 members of the far-right anti-government
extremist group the Oath Keepers
have been charged with seditious conspiracy.
-The leader of the far-right extremist group
the Oath Keepers is due to appear in federal court.
Stewart Rhodes is one of 11 defendants
who the Justice Department charged with sedition
on Thursday for their involvement
in the January 6th insurrection.
-These are the most significant charges
in the investigation, so far.
-It's a sign of both how dangerous
and how dumb our times are
that one of the key violent groups
involved in an attempted coup is called the Oath Keepers.
It sounds like the name a group of 12-year-old
amateur detectives would give themselves.
"We will solve the case of the unreturned library books,
for we are the Oath Keepers.
[ Inhaling asthma medicine ]"
Oath Keepers sounds like a "Yellowjackets" knock-off
about a group of teen girls
who have to keep a terrible secret,
although I would definitely watch a show
about a group of teen girls, plus Donald Trump,
who had to keep a secret, because it would be
only a half an episode before he gave it up.
"What happened to you in the woods?"
"We did what we had to do to survive."
"We ate Claire.
We ate our friend Claire to stay alive.
We did. We did. We ate her.
We could pretend we didn't, but we ate her.
We ate her, and I do think it's what Claire would have wanted,
even though her last words were, 'I don't want this!'"
[ Laughter ] But as we've learned throughout
the entirety of the Trump era, it's very possible
to be both dumb and dangerous at the same time.
The indictment from the Justice Department
is full of both dangerous and also incredibly stupid details.
For example, at one point,
the accused Oath Keepers were caught discussing
both bringing weapons with them to the Capitol
and what uniforms they should wear.
One said to another, "Pack khaki/tan pants.
Weapons are OK now as well. Sorry for the confusion.
We are packing the car and heading your way shortly."
And then another replied, "We don't have any khakis.
We have jeans."
They're a violent militia group trying to overthrow democracy,
and they sound like waiters getting ready for work.
"You can't wear jeans at the Olive Garden!"
"But they're my nice dark jeans!"
"Jeff, we've been through this!"
"I thought, when I was here, I was family!"
"That slogan is for customers, Jeff!"
[ Laughter ] "You know that!"
And at another point,
these morons came up with what they thought
was a foolproof plan for escaping law enforcement.
According to the indictment, one sent an email to another,
and attached to the email was a photograph
that showed cursive handwriting on a lined notepad that stated
"Secure Comms Test. Good talk tonight, guys."
And they explain the cursive writing
by adding, "Messages in cursive to eliminate digital reads."
Oh, my God, you absolutely dip[Bleep].
It doesn't matter if it's in cursive.
You're attaching it to an email.
It's like disguising your voice during a bank robbery
while you stare directly into the security camera.
"Listen to my voice. You have three hours
to meet our -- Oh, was not a camera? [Bleep]
[Bleep], did you guys know the bank had a camera?
It actually does matter, Jeff!"
[ Laughter ]
Did you genuinely think that attaching a message in cursive
meant it was somehow secure?
Is that how you think the US military communicates,
by passing handwritten notes like teenagers in math class?
"Psst, psst, I have a message from the Joint Chiefs of Staff
to seal Team Six. He says, 'I think UR cool.
Do you want to raid a compound l8ter?'"
[ Laughter ]
For some reason, these insurrectionist morons
have the idea that writing things on paper
makes them extra top secret.
For example, at Trump's rally over the weekend,
MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell
claimed he had invented a new form of paper
for future elections that was
somehow even more secure than the paper we have now.
-We have a replacement for the machines.
A matter of fact, tomorrow we're going to film it.
The replacement? It's paper, but it's paper on steroids.
It's the most awesome paper you ever seen, with --
You can't copy it, OK? It's better than money.
-What is paper on steroids?
"It's paper, but you don't need a pen to write on it.
You can just use your finger,
and it responds to touch and you can transmit it
to a secure central processing server.
Oh, [Bleep] it's a computer.
I accidentally -- I accidentally invented a computer.
Oh, this is more embarrassing
than when I thought I invented the pillow."
[ Laughter ]
The coup attempt Trump and his gang of authoritarian dopes
started shortly after the November 2020 election
is ongoing.
It's just a slow-moving coup now,
and they're trying to pull it off
without too many people noticing,
which is why we have to pass
urgently needed voting and election reforms
and hold the people who staged the insurrection responsible.
Otherwise, they'll do it again.
They'll try to overthrow democracy
and shred the Constitution, which, as the founders
themselves put it, is...
-The most awesome paper you ever seen.
-This has been "A Closer Look."
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