>> THE N.F.L. IS LOOKING TO HELP TACKLE THE VACCINE ROLLOUT,
OFFERING ALL 30 STADIUMS AS MASS VACCINATION SITES, EACH EXPECTED
TO INOCULATE THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE EACH DAY.
>> WE HERE AT THE N.F.L. ARE EXCITED TO HELP DISTRIBUTE THE
VACCINE THE WAY ONLY THE N.F.L.
CAN -- DUMPING IT OVER YOUR HEAD!
OUR STADIUMS WILL CARRY ALL C.D.C.-APPROVED VACCINES
INCLUDING PFIZER, MODERNA AND PURPLE.
COME EXPERIENCE THE COVID QUENCHER.
VACCINE SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE --
GLACIER FREEZE, FROST RIPTIDE RUSH, FIERCE MELON AND
PNEUMONIA.
SOME PEOPLE ARE NOT ELIGIBLE FOR THE VACCINE.
SO COME GET YOUR INNOCU-DUMP AT AN N.F.L. STADIUM TODAY.
HEY, FELLAS!
YOU JUST GOT INOCULATED!
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW?
>> WE'RE GOING TO HUG OLD PEOPLE!
WHOO!
>> Announcer: IT'S "A LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!