way out of this situation take a bra put it on and carefully put it on your butt under your jeans
wow the push-up is doing its job take that kim k this could have turned out better
hey babe what sound does a cat make what sound does a dog make what sound does a cow make
what sound you make when you're having
sex
ready okay boots and cats and boots and cats boots and cats boots and cats last one
mom what did you just say shut the cupboard and shut the camera door
shut the camera door please shut the camper door right now tiny boy just shut the camper door
shut the door right now i just shut the camera door hey daddy daddy buddy
you think i haven't seen this before
send this to someone to make them laugh son what the hell are you doing today i'm just scrolling
through facebook oh you're reading the book very good yeah i mean like i'm just scrolling
through facebook you don't scroll the book you flip the pages facebook the app no big boy you
face the book right now what this is for all the karens who are complaining about wearing a mask
put on the freaking mask you're going to be able to breathe it's
going to be because if you go if you get coronavized you will be able to breathe
funny about this it looks real the real water right here exactly you want to apply water well
actually i don't have the alkaline water but it doesn't matter it's okay it works with any water
all that drinks okay so what you want to do the key to making this work is actually believing so
what you want to do is you put it on top of your head and then hold it right there then watch how i
do it first because you actually have to believe okay so what you want to do very slowly you
spin a full 360 with your eyes closed and you kind of land right here exactly where you were
by the time you open your eyes nice and slow eyes closed and actually believe it believe it
all right okay now if you believe properly all
your water will be gone there was one drip there but that's not bad
okay so then do the same thing do the same thing you spilled it i saw this tic-tac
jump
send this to someone who needs to laugh dad my stomach is killing me i need to lie down oh okay
what do you mean you lie i need to lie down what do you mean you lie to me now
what i lie down lie now okay you die now with these chapstick of your mother remember when
you did a train noise yeah yeah yeah that's the one uh can you do a different train noise
no no that's exactly the same try again no choo choo no no choo choo chug
that will work that baby
oh yeah excuse me can we help you not a mirror what are you doing
oh uh i i was just checking myself out uh yeah yeah yeah i'll yeah i'll get out of here
um
yo my amazon and ups delivery are getting here the same time
come here you know they're right oh my god no can i cheating dude you're gonna bring my package dude
dude no be careful oh my god i was here first man no you guys
so i don't know if you guys know but i had a procedure done and my face is now
all healed up and i'm going to be revealing my new nose to my girlfriend take it all
i'm really happy with it but i know you're kind of judging me take it
you love it why did you oh i love it dude it looks so hot i don't even know i can't breathe good now
yeah i love it i love it you don't oh my gosh yeah i love ariana did you say you're a fan of ariana
grande yeah she's such a queen do you have any of her merch no i wish what's her birthday i'm
not too sure where was she born was she born in a bed or a hospital what's her favorite color what
was her first album called what was her latest album called what was her first boyfriend's name
what was her last boyfriend's name did she like victorious and why does she always wear a ponytail
i'm not too sure sorry then you're not a true ariana stan those are just the common facts and
you have to know them to stand her can't i still like her music no okay i stand billy then did you
say you're a stan of billy no um i hate everyone okay you're a fan of the band i hate everyone
okay you see this this is a sock this is a car okay come on come on come come okay you see this
this is all this is my hip hip oh man you see that yeah hungry hungry
you see this this is mud yes this is a [ __ ] you are a mother you mother hey
hey excuse me would you be able to help me find the cameras yeah right this way
whoa sir sir sir why are we running sir sir i just need help with the cameras
sir sir i just need help with the cameras
here you are sir oh thank you of course
what is this this is a stick okay when i put on the lip it is lipstick no don't
leave me don't leave me don't leave me this is a butter okay when i throw in the sky it
is the butterfly no don't leave me don't leave me don't leave me don't leave me
what is this this is what okay when you put down the banks okay the pain
shot oh no don't leave me don't leave me no no no yo yo she's calling she's calling hey
babe where are you i can't hear you right now i'm in a bunch of traffic get out of the road
what was that it actually started raining really hard and thunder are you okay oh my god i just got
into a car crash are you kidding me some lady ran into me give me a license plate oh she's
walking over to me oh she just slapped me oh she just slapped me again so you commented this four
hours ago this been you for four hours i got a dookie up missed the toilet off to see the whip
walking around walking around his stubborn toes for four hours matter of fact this being you
for four hours you're such a trendsetter stuck on stupid smell like crocodile knuckles hey there did
you see what i did on tv no i must have missed it they got reruns if it's still on rewinding please
okay so we're about to go through the taco bell drive-through so we're gonna order our
food through the drive-through but we're gonna make it seem like our voice is like lagging
like we're going in and out lagging pranks and see what the reaction is okay we're pulling up
hello
hello yeah i green
hello yeah okay hear me yes go ahead crap
filter when something really weird happened okay uh here we go i am men yo house ben of foul week
what does that mean and i was like that's a little bit weird my power went out i was
sitting in complete darkness except for a line of text that lit up on my computer that said
i'm right in in front of you i thought am i being hacked so i grabbed my phone and opened up your
ipad and deleted all my harry styles fanfics i've been writing since i was in middle school but then
the hacker said i think i love you so i told them i don't think it's gonna work out and the
hacker replied if i can't pay of you the world can have this and he had leaked all of my harry styles
fanfiction when i was 12. harry styles grabs your neck and whispers in your ear i have one direction
but without the d in direction if you know what i mean let's think about what the world's going
to look like 10 years from now i am straight up convinced that the year 2020 is going to be its
own damn chapter in history books no seriously i can't wait in 10 years i'll be sitting down the
dinner table helping my kid do their homework and they'll say daddy help me with my 2020 homework
yeah sure thing champ what you need help with daddy what was cowona virus well son i'll tell you
it was a very dark time the internet ruled the world oh you mean like it does now that's right
son except not everybody owned electric or hover cars yet and our excuse for hoverboards were these
piss-poor things that had wheels that sounds lame oh trust me it was daddy was tick-tock
son i'm about to tell you a really [ __ ] awesome story yay know what you're a poopy head
ah take that poopy head wow
wow wow what wow freak you
yo spencer hey wake up wake up if you wake up i'll give you this bang
okay let's go first you gotta beat me in the box challenge here we go
nice all right
are you ready
are you corn
cause i'm stalking you
you