It’s time to talk about the benefits of face-to-face communication. But first, tell
me if this sounds familiar:
You get a text from your best friend, whom you haven’t seen in months because you’re
so busy. But it’s late so you put it off until the next morning. When you finally respond,
you ask them how they’re doing. But now they’re offline. A few hours later, they
respond and ask if you’re still dating so-and-so. But you’re getting on a flight, so you can’t
update them on that juicy piece of news until you land. When the plane touches down, you
see a message from your friend saying “Must have just missed you. I’m out on vacation
for the next week, let’s catch up soon!”
Is it just me or is this situation lame? You both have so much to share with each other,
and you miss each other dearly, yet the best you could get across to them was “I’m
doing great, how are you?” This is your best friend we’re talking about!
The problem here is all too common these days. It’s a mistake we all make more than we
should.
We opted for “easy mode” digital communication instead of making the effort to have a real,
in-person conversation.
Now don’t get me wrong: there’s a huge convenience to instant chat apps and other
ways of connecting online. In fact, they are my primary mode of communication these days.
But I think you’ll agree that there’s something profoundly different about interacting
with someone in person, something that’s just missing from interacting with someone
through a screen.
Explearners: today we’ll take a look at why it is that face-to-face communication
is just so darn special and why it’s the best type of interpersonal communication you
can find.
What’s up Explearners. Mary Daphne here of explearning.co where we believe social
skills are the key to the Good Life. What’s the Good Life? It’s where you call the shots,
you have a crew you can count on, and you’re on a mission you care about.
These days it seems like we’re constantly on our phone or computers. And if you’re
an entrepreneur, employee or student, chances are you’re looking at screens all day long.
Now we all know about the havoc the blue light from these screens can wreak on our sleep.
But there’s an even bigger danger these screens present: isolation from our fellow
humans! Just think, how long has it been since you
had a real heart-to-heart with someone close to you? Not over Instagram, not on the phone,
not via texts, but in real life … in person? I won’t blame you if the answer is “longer
than it should be”. I totally get it. Working on Explearning,
I find it challenging to find face-to-face opportunities because so much of what I do
requires a screen. Technology truly is amazing. We’re able
to stay connected to people from the comfort of our own homes and workplaces.
In some ways, technology has made it way easier to communicate with our loved ones. It bridges
the gap of time and space because it’s so easy to tap an app or click a button to hear
someone’s voice or see them virtually. Yes, this IS amazing! When I studied and lived
abroad, skyping and WhatsApp was my jam because I could talk with my family and friends. That
was a major lifesaver and source of happiness! But I also knew I needed in-person social
interaction. The virtual communication just didn’t scratch the same itch.
Luckily, I was surrounded by people all day, so I could cultivate friendships with people
around me. And that was key to feeling a sense of belonging to these places far from home.
What we have to understand is that social media and the other communication channels
cannot substitute face-to-face communication. Phone calls, texts, emails, and video chat
are fantastic, but they play second fiddle to in-person interaction.
When you’re away from your friends and family, by all means call them up, inundate their
inbox, send them a bajillion texts, go for it. We love the connectivity.
But whenever you get the chance for in-person communication, I urge you to seize it!
Let’s take a look at a few reasons why that its:
1) Flawless Signal If you’ve ever upgraded from an old computer
to a new one, and discovered that that video game you love plays waaaaay better on the
new one, or upgraded your phone and noticed that the pictures you take now look 1000x
clearer, you’ll appreciate that we have a long way to go in bridging the gap between
the digital world and the real world. We love fast internet because it makes our
communications clearer and closer to real-time. But the most real-time communication of all
is available to us for free! It just requires us to step away from our screens and toward
the next human being. We see them in crystal clear resolution, the audio is perfect, and
there is no lag nor digital interference of any kind.
2) A Reminder of Our Humanity When we sit down and chat with someone, we
get a rich sensory experience that can’t be transmitted through cables and airwaves.
We hear the timbre of their voice, we can hug them, we can smell their scent, and we
can enjoy a meal with them. We can engage all five senses, which is part of what makes
us human. This is why you feel such a strong sense of
gratification when you spend time with people. We’re programmed that way. We would still
be in caves huddled around fires if we didn’t have an incentive to be near each other and
support each other and learn from each other. 3) X-Ray Vision
Interacting with people in person gives you superpowers. I mean it! The reason has to
do with what we’ve discussed already. By engaging all your senses, and seeing the other
person in perfect resolution, you have so much more information you can use to understand
how the other person is feeling and how you should respond to each other.
Are they leaning toward you? Are they trembling or sweating? Did they furrow their eyebrows
slightly? These are all things that you notice in a person that you might not be able to
see digitally, even with video chat. With face-to-face communication, we get the
full picture, which when compared to a Skype call, is basically like having x-ray vision.
4) Make Great Impressions If you’re looking to make a good impression,
your best bet is to meet face-to-face. Now, making a good impression does not just
concern us when we’re meeting someone for the first time – be it on a date or in a
job interview – but anytime we need to put our best food forward.
When we make an impression on someone, there are three things that will affect our score,
so to speak. Professor Albert Mehrabian discovered that the degree to which we find someone likable
is gleaned from three elements: words, tone of voice and body language. But they’re
not all equal factors in our judgement. Our judgement is based 55% on body language, 38%
on tone of voice, and just 7% on words. This is known as the 7%-38%-55% Rule.
So if you’re not communicating in person, you’re missing out on 55% of the analysis!
5) No Distractions One of my favorite parts of in-person communication
is that there are no distractions. They can’t be writing an email while talking to you,
or checking their Facebook feed, or watching TV. A proper in-person conversation is just
you and that person, no screens permitted. This ensures you have each other’s undivided
attention, and that leads to much better listening and thus much more meaningful conversations.
---- So how’s that for a defense of face-to-face
communication? We obviously benefit greatly from web-based connectivity, but there’s
overwhelming evidence that in-person interactions are an essential part of our lives, no matter
how digitally savvy we are. Face-to-face communication is a wonderful
banquet of the senses that reminds us of our humanity. It ensures we get, and deliver,
the most perfect picture possible, with no distractions, so that you can have the conversations
that matter in a truly authentic and meaningful way.
These in-person interactions will leave you feeling happier and more fulfilled, and that
goes for the person you’re speaking to as well!
My challenge to you is to say “yes” to an in-person meeting this week. Or better
yet, be the person to suggest a face-to-face meet up with someone. This could be a casual
coffee session with a friend or having a quick meeting with your teammates in person.
Remember, social interaction is what’s keeping us alive. Myriad studies show that we live
longer and better if we can build a community. So, don’t underestimate the power of your
crew to keep you alive! And if you don’t have a crew yet, now's as good a time as any
to build one.
So now that I've shared our thoughts, I want to hear about the last time you had a meaningful
face-to-face conversation with someone that matters. What was special about it? What other
benefits of face-to-face communication can you think of?
Share those three things with me and the Explearning community in the comments below.
And, if you loved this lesson, please be sure to let me know. You can give this video a
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And remember, the writeup of these lessons are always available on our blog at explearning.co/blog.
With that, have an awesome week, Explearners. Thank you so much for joining me and I’ll
see you next time for your next Explearning lesson.
Happy Explearning ⚡