So you want to be a rocket surgeon.
You think rocket science and neurosurgery are too pedestrian and elementary and are
craving the most prestigious, challenging, and egocentric specialty.
Let’s debunk the public perception myths, and give it to you straight.
This is the reality of rocket surgery.
Dr. Jubbal, MedSchoolInsiders.com.
Welcome to our next installment in So You Want to Be.
In this series, we highlight a specific specialty within medicine, such as rocket surgery, and
help you decide if it’s a good fit for you.
You can find the other specialties on our So You Want To Be playlist.
If you want to vote in upcoming polls to decide what future specialties we cover, make sure
you’re subscribed.
If you’d like to see what being a rocket surgeon looks like, check out my second channel,
Kevin Jubbal, M.D., where we’ll be covering a day in the life of a rocket surgeon in the
future.
Neurosurgeons and rocket scientists are often held in high regard as benchmark careers that
require highly intelligent, skilled, and driven individuals.
These accolades are well earned.
Not only do they perform complicated and specialized jobs, but their roles are also massively important.
While brain surgery and rocket science are impressive, they have nothing at all to do
with the actual combination of rocket surgery.
Rocket surgery is the pinnacle of pinnacles, the top of the top, the best and the brightest.
When someone tells you “it’s not brain surgery” or “it’s not rocket science”,
you retort “of course it isn’t, but is it rocket surgery?”
Rocket surgeons take the mathematical prowess of a rocket scientist and marry it with the
God-complex of a neurosurgeon, culminating in a never before witnessed level of egocentrism.
Rocket surgeons both perform surgery on humans and other living creatures while aboard rockets,
but also conduct surgery on the rocket itself.
Surgery on organisms inside rockets includes more terrestrial and dare I say comparatively
elementary procedures like Whipple’s, also known as pancreaticoduodenectomies, or microsurgical
free tissue flaps in complex bony and soft tissue reconstruction.
Rocket surgeon prowess is better exhibited, however, on more cutting edge procedures,
like central nervous system transplants, such as the first human to goldfish brain transplant.
And yes, that goldfish went on to accomplish great things.
Surgery on the rocket itself includes repair of propulsion and guidance systems as well
as balancing aerodynamics and aesthetics.
The only thing more important than how fast your rocket actually goes is how fast it looks
like it goes.
What’s the point of being in outer space if you can’t do it in style anyway?
If you thought being a rocket scientist or neurosurgeon was challenging, then you might
want to sit down.
Few things can adequately prepare you for the arduous journey culminating in the explosive
glory of becoming a rocket surgeon.
Just like any other medical specialty, 4 years of medical school is required to earn your
MD.
But in addition, you must demonstrate sufficient proficiency in mathematics, physics, and aerodynamics-related
subjects through some postgraduate level training.
Most rocket surgeons major in some form of engineering in college, only to later earn
a PhD in aerospace engineering.
After 4 years of college, 4 years of medical school, and 4 years of PhD, rocket surgeons
must complete a 10-year rocket surgery residency.
If you don’t have gray hair by the time you graduate from the combination of aging
and chronic stress, then something’s amiss.
How competitive is rocket surgery?
Let’s just say this – rocket surgery makes tier 1 specialties like dermatology and plastic
surgery seem like a cakewalk.
Rocket surgeons are born, not made.
If the sum of your Step 1 score plus hip thrust 1 rep max squared doesn’t exceed the distance
of the earth to the moon by a factor of 2, it’s likely not a good fit.
If an applicant isn’t at the top of their class at every stage, their application is
immediately thrown in the waste bin.
But we’re not just talking college and medical school.
Rocket surgery applications go all the way back to kindergarten and elementary school,
to food eating contests, and even your Apgar scores as a newborn.
Pass/fail has no place in the training of a rocket surgeon.
Only numerical scores are appropriate, and the only number that counts is 100%.
Students that pursue rocket surgery are, for lack of better terms, geniuses.
They’re the students who finished the calculus exam 30 minutes early, while holding the pencil
between the toes of their non-dominant foot, and of course scoring a perfect 100%... while
in 3rd grade.
These qualities are best exhibited by former Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson.
After turning an RV into a boat and driving it from the roof using oven mitts, he proclaimed,
“I honestly believe that sometimes my genius...
it generates gravity.”
Immediately after, he lost complete control of the gears, throttle, and brakes but survived
to tell the tale.
If you live through rocket surgery residency, you will further subspecialize with fellowship.
Fellowships for other specialties are optional, however, every single rocket surgeon to date
has completed at least one fellowship.
This is best explained by the fact that they’re all gunners.
To specialize in space monkey surgery, you’ll complete a 2-year fellowship teaching you
how to operate on monkeys in space - mostly in a rocket, but also in other extraterrestrial
conduits.
The first year will be spent learning how to perform basic surgical procedures on space
monkeys.
The second year will be spent on more complex procedures in addition to learning how to
dodge monkey excrement in zero-gravity while maintaining a sterile surgical field.
Aesthetic rocket surgery is a 2-year fellowship that will teach you how to make rockets and
the people within them look beautiful with elective procedures.
It is the most competitive and lucrative out of all the rocket surgery subspecialties.
Practices are cash-based and therefore are immune to changes in insurance reimbursement.
Need a stat breast augmentation while circling Uranus?
What about an emergent rocketplasty before your date at the International Space Station?
Aesthetic rocket surgeons can do both - at the same time.
There’s a lot to love about rocket surgery.
To start, rocket surgeons have higher than average compensation.
The average salary for academic rocket surgeons is $420,000 and $690,000 for those in private
practice.
Rocket surgery is also the most prestigious career in both medicine and engineering.
After completing fellowship, many rocket surgeons go on to pursue law degrees as well so they
can be the fabled doctor-engineer-lawyer that every parent dreams of.
Rocket surgery is also highly intellectual and highly procedural - which is hard to find
in most careers or even other specialties in medicine.
That being said, rocket surgery isn’t for everyone.
If you’re uncomfortable with people of both sexes constantly throwing themselves at you,
rocket surgery may not be a good fit.
It’s hard to have a family when you’re so sexy and impressive as a human being that
everyone wants a piece of you.
Speaking of family, rocket surgeons spend 25 hours a day performing surgery so work-life
balance can be difficult - not for rocket surgeons, but for their families.
If your family wants to see for you more than 2 minutes a year - and that bothers you - then
rocket surgery isn’t for you.
Rocket surgery is also the most competitive medical and engineering discipline in existence.
Every board-certified rocket surgeon is an objectively perfect human being.
How do you hide $100 from an internal medicine doctor?
You put it under the dressings.
How do you hide $100 from an orthopedic surgeon?
Place it in a book.
How do you hide $100 from a neurosurgeon?
Give it to their kids.
And how do you hide $100 from a rocket surgeon?
You put it in a second-place trophy.
How can you decide if rocket surgery is right for you?
If you are personally offended by the phrase “nobody’s perfect,” rocket surgery might
be for you.
You should love rockets and medicine and be willing to devote your entire being to both.
You should also have a work ethic and hip thrust that transcends human understanding.
If you can do that, then you will be blessed with a career that is, quite literally, out-of-this-world.
Are you hoping to become a rocket surgeon?
To get into a rocket surgery residency, you’ll need to be at the top of your class in everything,
from standardized tests and class exams, to food eating contests and barbell hip thrusts,
and everything between.
As you look at resources and companies to work with, seek out those who are actual MD
rocket surgeons, not PhD’s that mislead you into believing they are clinical physicians
or fake surgeons that didn't go to rocket surgery school.
Look for those who have achieved stellar results themselves, a track record of success with
positive ratings from aspiring rocket surgeons, and a systematic approach so you know you'll
always receive the best service.
If you decide on Med School Insiders, we'd love to be a part of your journey in becoming
a future rocket surgeon.
Visit us on MedSchoolInsiders.com.
Happy April Fool’s!
If you enjoyed this video, check out So You Want to Be a Neurosurgeon or another video
on our So You Want to Be playlist.
Much love, and I’ll see you guys there.