I had stayed in from going out to a club. I wanted my boyfriend to come
home to cuddle me.
So I stayed up until, you know, the club closed and like communication just wasn't happening
properly.
So I like got in my head and, you know, the whole ... I was in my feelings a lot.
But he went to the studio afterwards to work on music, because he's like a night owl and
he works all the time.
I had like remnant feelings about it, even though I knew it was misplaced.
But I still wrote a song about it.
And once I wrote a song about it, it like all came out.
Like all the feelings about it came out and I was like hey babe, like I'm good.
I wrote a song about it.
He's like "Do you even like me?"
I was like "Yes, I love you.
I'm sorry."
Every song that I write is kind of like therapy, whether I know I'm writing it or not.
A lot of them come from a subconscious place that I haven't even tapped into yet in my
conscious mind.
I love getting it out with sounds, too.
It makes it more tangible and more real.
You know, when you expect someone to be home by a certain time and then they're not.
And then you're also are trying to get a message back like "Hey, where you at?"
And they're not responding.
And you're like "Okay, where are you?"
I had a really traumatic like ex that would lie to me a lot.
So that for me is where my like panic comes from usually, is when I feel like I'm being
lied to, or like a truth is being withheld from me.
Once I finally got a call back or like a text message back, I was like
overreacting.
But I have too much pride to admit it right now.
So I'm going to write a song about it first.
How many times do we have this feeling inside of us about what we expect
our partner to be doing, but we don't communicate what it is that we need.
We get stuck in like oh well, if they really love me and if they really pay attention and
if they really care them, then they would know.
But a lot of the times, people don't know.
You know, we're all living in our own reality and trying to navigate it as best we can.
If you come at someone with a preconception of what it is that they did, you're also not
having an open mind enough to listen to what this person's explanation is.
You know what I mean?
Because you're so set on like no, you hurt me.
Unforgivable.
And then it's like you fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight.
And then towards the end of it, once you finally open your mind, and you guys are so exhausted
from fighting is when you're like oh, shit, I'm sorry.
I wish that I didn't have all these little kind of check marks that I needed in order
to be secure and happy.
If someone's trying to go through your phone all the time to see what you're up to, like
that's just an unhealthy relationship.
As a woman, you know, a lot of the time you're kind of disregarded as crazy for wanting
to have your time respected.
And it's like no, I'm incredibly busy.
I work really hard.
You expect me to keep up with you, what I have going on.
You can't expect something from you that you don't give me.
Not with Ty.
To be honest.
He's very caring, very thoughtful.
We both are very busy, so sometimes we get caught up in our schedules.
But we make time for each other.
I don't know, distance doesn't really matter when you really love somebody.
For me, it's cool to be with someone who understands the lifestyle and who also lives it because
like the little miscommunication things kind of don't happen as often as like with my exes per se.