Good to have a family.
I'd much rather not be disturbed now.
Come on downstairs, Oswald. I have a surprise.
I don't like surprises.
Come on down.
Don't peek.
You'll spoil it.
Yes. Adulation is a cross to bear. God knows, I know.
But someone's got to supplant our standing-in-the-way-of-progress mayor.
And don't deny it, Mr. Cobblepot, you've got the magic.
Your charisma's bigger than both of us. Come on down.
Mayor?
Mayor.
Max, elections happened in November. Is this not late December?
Don't worry about it.
I want you to meet Jen and Josh, my image consultants.
Here.
Reclaim your birthright.
I'm Jen. Hi.
Okay, let's see.
What I'd like to do first is put these little glove thingies on you.
Our research tells us that voters like fingers.
So if we wanna just lose this...
We'll do it another time then, okay?
Not a lot of reflective surfaces down in the sewer, huh?
Still, could be worse. My nose could be gushing blood.
Your nose could be.... What do you mean by that?
Oh, God!
Everybody, back to work!
Let's make a mayor!
You're right, we missed the regularly scheduled election...
but elected officials can be recalled, impeached...
-given the boot. Look at Nixon. -Agnew.
Then think of you...
Oswald Cobblepot, filling the void.
I'd like to fill her void.
We're gonna need signatures to overturn the ballot. I can supply those, Oswald.
-Teach her my French flipper trick. -Oswald, we need one more thing.
A platform?
Stop global warming. Start global cooling. Make the world a giant icebox.
I like it. But to get the Mayor recalled, we have to have a catalyst, a trigger.
You're doing great, Mayor Cobblepot.
Your table is ready, Mayor Cobblepot.
I need you, Oswald. I need you now.
That's the biggest parasol I've ever seen.
Soon. One incident like the Gulf of Tonkin or the Reichstag fire.
You want my old friends up there...
to drive the Mayor into a foaming frenzy?
-Exactly. -Sounds fun.
But I... I...
I mustn't get sidetracked, Maxie.
I've got my own things to tend to.
Sidetracked? Oswald, this is your chance to fulfil a destiny...
your parents carelessly discarded.
Reclaim my birthright, you mean?
Imagine, as mayor, you'd have the ear of the media...
access to the captains of industry...
unlimited poontang.
You drive a hard bargain, Maxie.
All right, I'll be mayor.
Burn, baby, burn!