Have you seen your family naked? For sure! Really? Yes! if things won't go well then
it's like money down the crapper. I don't think many Finnish men is doing that. Hey guys I'm in
sunny but don't let the fool you - very cold Helsinki, Finland and I'm here to find
out about the culture specifically the dating culture so let's go find out how the Finns date.
The Nordic region of the world fascinates me like no other years ago I filmed a singles guide on
dating in Iceland half a year ago I self-published a book on dating in Sweden Denmark and Norway and
now I had one country left on that bucket list: Finland. Why Finland you may ask and why would I
willingly come here in October? Well you just have to keep watching but before we dive in here's what
you need to know about Finland. Contrary to what some sources might say Finland is not part of
Scandinavia. Finland is officially part of the Nordics. Finland shares its borders with Sweden
and Russia and let's just say there's a lot of history between Finland and these two countries.
I won't get into it in this video but you can go ahead and Google it. I arrived to Helsinki
from the sunny island of Rhodes and was met with a stark contrast. It was quiet, deadly quiet. Finns
kept their distance and seemed terrified of the thought of being approached by a stranger like
myself so how are you supposed to make friends and date in this country? So how do you make friends in
Finland? That's the question that people ask the most because that, I feel is the hardest thing
to do when it comes to the Nordics. So one of the things I really recommend is that when you
meet someone you would like to be friends with you need to be so proactive. You need to make the first
move you need to have lots of questions in place silence could be uncomfortable only for you
and not for the Finn, so that's something to keep in mind. I would suggest some kind of activity so when
you want to meet them for for a second time then to just to go for a walk or a jog something that
is sports related maybe because then if you ask for a coffee then it's kind of more -
intimate- intimate and you have to look each other in the eye and stuff like this and it might be
overwhelming you know I feel like Finns are not natural conversationalists so is that like a fear
you're going to go out with someone and it's just going to be you're not going to know what to talk
about? There will definitely be those empty moments just like in our conversation yeah I am it's not
in Finland we kind of wait for the other person to stop then we think about what we want to say and
that makes that silence so that's why it's not so fluent or it's not like tennis what we see in many
other cultures it's like swinging the conversation it's super fast sometimes it's overlapping even
it's never overlapping in Finland coming from North America we do that a lot we'll be like yeah
yeah and here's you know and then you just kind of continue continue continue interrupt each other
yes but we're talking I'm like it's different. It's definitely different. I've noticed that as well it
is for sure it's a much slower pace and when I have international friends or American friends
they talk so fast it's really hard for me to get my word in because I'm always waiting for
the pause that never comes and they have what warm wine which is the hot drink ah it's gluhwein?
um I want it yes yes yes how much are we gonna drink today one two two please
I love this it's like wine with cloves and honey. iI's the same yes I think it's uh it's Aple-glug
is it ah it's with apple and um yes the activity is like a big part of the culture right definitely
This is such a Finnish reaction!
I was like sh*t what do I say now so it's really hard for a Finn to
answer a question if the answer was already provided in but in my question? In Finland
super short answers are always polite they are as polite as the long answer
So you've been here for how long at this point? I've been here now on and off for nearly 20 years. Incredible I know!
I come from the UK. where we're like renowned for being masters of small talk uh it was a shock to the system to realize
that people are they're very comfortable with silence and I'm now more comfortable
with silence but I've had occasions where I'd be like you know sitting in family parties
with like loads of aunts and everyone's totally silent and they're sitting there sipping coffee
and eating cake and I'm like I haven't I'll start sweating I was like I need to get out I need to
make an excuse I can't bear it I'm shaking and I actually think that's a very healthy thing being
comfortable with silence rather than having to fill the void with just like noise.
The weather is like a it's like a big part of Finnish life right do people get happier when
it's summer and it's sunny out? There's a saying there's two kinds of Finns. There's the summer Finns
and winter Finns and they're totally different people. People in the summer actually stop and
talk to each other and you know they can actually you know smile and just even say something to a
like like somebody that they don't know but in the winter try and find somebody who's going to
speak to you in like November December it's very difficult because you know everybody's going in
their direction and they just I just want to go home. I think about it we have like three months of
non-stop sunlight so you go crazy nobody wants to you know sleep in the summer because you have to
you know you know have fun and then in the winter it's like three months of darkness so it does make
us weird I think. Do you believe in that expression that that notion that Finland is the happiest
country in the world that they talk about so much? Well we actually laugh about that because if you
ask people in July yeah I'm sure they are but November, no. Not so much, but we're content because we have good education,
we have healthcare, we have you know it's a safe place to live and you can really make a nice life for yourself here.
This is very romantic the yes so there are couples and they have their
signature here the dating culture in Finland in one word I would say it's relaxed and casual.
let's say you're in your 20s or your 30s what is like yeah what is the best way to meet someone?
Tinder is very popular in Finland. It's also for casual hookups but most people tend to
meet at work or in their study place also through friends that is really popular and
sometimes also in the summer festivals because I hear a lot that Finnish hookup scene is really
big like people hook up a lot is that like a thing that you find like you know you go to
yeah that that is very popular also I think there's even some studies that like around
more than 50 percent of people have done like sex on the first date. Would you be open to it
I think everything is doable how do you meet someone here usually what's like the best way
um probably in part in bars because um Finnish girls and women are quite
um shy or Tinder right? Or Tinder yeah exactly Tinder that's also like it's easy to people
talk there. Can you find like a relationship in a bar or is that more like actually I've
found my relationship from a bar! Really? Yeaah yeah we've been together for seven years so actually
we made a love story then what is your perfect first date um I like walking outside movies and
that's good like you'll be quiet there and just watch the movies but when you're walking it's not
that like awkward you can like see something and talk about that. I really like those activity dates
um I don't really like like going for a coffee which is very typical in in Finland also yeah
um because when there is an activity then you kind
of don't get confused about the awkward silence situations so that is
so it's like a dark archipelago bread which is really sweet in texture and then and
then butter and then this cold smoked salmon what is your perfect first date if you could
describe it or somewhere outside yeah somewhere outside definitely probably something to eat
yeah something to focus on here, yeah. Some herring ah yes maybe yes of course yes and one thing
of course going to nature. Imagine this a guy invites you to a restaurant yeah he picks you
up in his car he drives you to the restaurant he pays, the bill, he orders nice champagne. how
does that sound? Great really great, I don't think many Finnish men is doing that. The guy is like
this is on me I really had a great time maybe if I've had a feeling that he doesn't want anything
more then just because he had a nice time with you not because he wants to sleep with
you yeah right yeah exactly yeah so would you ever pay for the men? No no you've never paid
for a guy or no yeah I like your answer thank you the man keeps paying for you like first day
second third date yeah fourth days do you feel comfortable with that or do you feel
like oh maybe yeah I think maybe I need to pay sometimes but if man want to pay it's okay for me
what do you think about kind of girly girls that are like oh you know the guy should pay for me
and pick me up and drop me home. Uh I think it's kind of non-Finnish in my opinion so of course
I like if a lady is feminine but to some extent like if she expect that the guy does everything
for her and then that's kind of like a turn-off. In Finland we have this like sense of equality
between men and women so if it feels for me that I have to do like everything in terms of
the relationship and the dating then it's a signal for me that she's not really putting
anything on the table but of course we can do like teamwork for example let's say I buy
the first drinks and then she can buy the next great round what is your kind of preference?
It should be like some lowthreshold thing that anyone can easily go to for example drinks at
the bar or at the coffee place or walk in the park. Then second is like low investment also so because
we are just about to getting to know someone so we don't want to put too much money also so for
example this expensive dinners completely no no at least for me because if things won't
go well then it's like money down the crapper. Why would I invest in someone I don't know yes genders
are very very close to each other in terms of roles like everybody will do house chores and
it's not there's no uh expectancy for the guy to pay on the first date and whatnot so this
is something to keep in mind on the other hand some of the things that are general politeness
we are missing in the Finnish culture. People are not expecting the men to open a door for you we
are not expecting men to carry our stuff or put heavy luggage to somewhere. So, so that is something
to keep in mind that maybe Finnish men are not doing this on purpose like not seeing you and
if you're struggling with with prams or with your luggage it's just that it's not culturally there
everybody is self-sufficient and working with what they got. Does that bother you as you know not just
as a woman but in general like would you want the man to be a gentleman? That's a great question
because I'm natively Finnish I don't I don't have a problem with it because I'm so accustomed to it
one thing that is so hard is being a mom with a baby in Finland because then you would really need
the help and then you just have to ask because also it's a mindset thing because sometimes I
will ask like an older lady if they want help and then they're like no I can manage on my own
so it's part of the "sisu" so part of the Finnish kind of resilience and strength to be happy
on your own and to make it happen on your own everybody will be happy to help and happy to
help you as much as you need but you need to ask first we are not going to meddle in your business
what like has been a giant culture shock upon coming here just list them off yeah
I mean there's been many I mean like okay there's always the obvious ones which you know people talk
about like uh you know things like sauna and like communal nudity. it was my girlfriend's
grandfather's 80th birthday we all arrive I finally get over my sort of uh nervousness
everyone's very friendly and welcoming and then they say right let's go for sauna I'm like whoa
yeah cool let's go to sauna because you know it's it's like a part of their culture and I
get done everyone gets naked I'm like whoa it's like I'm literally I mean I've got nothing
to hide obviously but like nonetheless when the entire hundred people getting naked
simultaneously is a bit of a shock to the system so that was my first uh experience of
sauna to say Finland has a strong sauna culture is an understatement 99% of Finns visit sauna
at least once a week. Each apartment building has a sauna so guys this is the Finnish sauna
oh it's hot in here! There are privates saunas, public saunas. A sauna in a ferris wheel, in
the Parliament House, in a bus and even Burger King. I feel like being nude is not an issue for Finnish
people because we are used to being in the sauna we are used to seeing all types of uh people in
like naked have you seen your family naked for sure really yes I have never seen my family naked
yes even as a like an old adult person I can go with my dad and we will go together to sauna
and to be naked outside of your immediate family then there might be that uh situation that you
won't go fully naked. The sauna culture makes different types of bodies very normalizing
and I think that's a great thing and I think it plays into the fact that Finns feel comfortable
around their own naked body and with others naked bodies it's interesting though because talking
to your neighbor in an elevator is uncomfortable but seeing someone naked is not right like I know
it's completely different things you're not gonna see your naked neighbor naked but I would if they
are a girl and we are in the sauna together only place where you would not start flirting
with somebody they would think really strange is the sauna because even if people are naked in the
sauna it's not a flirty thing it has nothing to do with like yeah it's not sexual at all no
it's it's like a spiritual thing. It's an it's a cleansing thing and it's a just a way of life