- Hey Dudes!
I'm Hilah and today on Hilah cooking
we're making Beer Cheese Soup.
That's kind of a weird one.
But, it ties in to a tale,
an American History tale,
that you're going to hear about
George Washington crossing the Delaware,
and it happened on a very special day.
And to tell the tale, ladies and gentlemen,
my friend,
historian,
comedian,
Dawn Brody, everyone!
- Hi!
Hi, hi. Thanks for having me.
- Hey Dawn.
- I blew it. - You kinda blew it.
- I'll do it over here.
- Yeah, yeah try that again.
(upbeat music)
- I'm so excited to be here.
(laughing)
I am. I love soup,
I love beer, I love cheese.
- It was your idea to make this soup in the first place.
- I know!
Because anytime somebody says, "What should we make?"
I'm like Chex Mix, beer cheese soup.
Those are my two things.
(laughing)
But I was like, you're way too sophisticated a cook.
You're a chef. You don't request Chex Mix.
I'm a chef.
- So beer cheese soup it is.
- Which is I know still probably pretty pedestrian.
- Dude, I tested it the other day.
It was delicious. - Yeah!
- I was, I've never even eaten beer cheese soup.
- Now, I'm from rural Wisconsin.
And beer cheese soup, if there's a crock pot in a bar...
- What? Really?
- It probably has beer cheese soup in it.
- And you just go serve yourself soup,
out of a crock pot in a bar?
- Mm hmm.
- I'm gonna start sauteing some vegetables.
Did you know there's vegetables in this soup?
- Sure, some people put vegetables in it.
No, it's good. I actually, is it,
are you putting carrots vegetables in it?
- I am.
- Yeah. Yeah. - Oh, okay.
- Carrots. Very common.
- So, I'm gonna saute-- - I like the amount of butter.
This is already a great start.
- Yeah, I put in half a stick.
I think you could do more.
And then I'm gonna add some leeks.
I hope that's,
I realized too late I didn't have enough onions.
But I had leeks.
- Leeks are great!
- Okay, so I put leeks--
- Like I know!
- and carrots.
My people approve!
(laughing)
Great.
- I'm gonna add a little bit of salt,
to help it soften up.
- Oooh, it already smells so good!
- So, this is gonna cook for 10 minutes.
Which I think is plenty of time,
for us to hear your American Tale.
So Dawn actually is an historian.
- Yes.
- And also an actor and a comedian.
So she tells very interesting historical tales.
- And, am I allowed to swear on your show?
- Yes.
- Because that's the fact is that some of this is nuts.
So before we even knew how many guys we had,
or how many guns we had,
we are going up against the biggest, baddest military
in the history of human civilization.
- Britain?
- Britain. - Really?
- They have more boats, more guys,
they've won more. They've been fighting wars,
against the Spanish, the French,
on land and at sea.
- They've just been kicking everybody's ass?
- For hundreds of years!
Forever!
They are strong. They have military.
And, the only thing we Colonial Americans
know about the military,
we learned from Britain.
Before we signed the Declaration of Independence,
but we're starting to think
maybe we're going to war with these.
I know, that's a big word.
- But in Britain, it actually means friend.
- Oh, so yeah! (both laughing)
- Frenemies! - Technically.
We were like, Oh my gosh,
we're actually gonna go to war with these guys.
We need to know who's gonna be in charge of the military.
And George Washington just shows up
(doorbell ringing)
in the Continental Congress everyday,
wearing his General's uniform.
And so they'd be like,
ugh! What are we gonna do?
We have these problems, we need the Independence written,
but we don't have anyone to lead the army!
You know?
And then, when he takes the job,
he says, "Let me explain something.
"I don't think I'm good enough for this.
"And I don't know if we can win."
- Holy shit, you never see that kind of humility.
- (whispering) I know.
(normal voice) So he, first thing he does,
in marches, as General, is he
Boston!
You're a Boston Grad.
- Yep. Went to Boston.
I didn't graduate.
But thanks. - Not important.
Not important!
(both laughing)
But the city of Boston, as you know, rich,
right there on the pivotal axis of all of the stuff.
So the British are like, "Oh. No, you won!
"That's nuts. I mean to be fair,
"we didn't think there was any chance
"you were even gonna try."
But then they do take New York.
- Wait, the British take New York?
- Oh, God yeah.
- Ohh, so they were like, "You can have Boston,
"we're gonna take this one."
- Well, yeah kinda. I mean, it was like,
we fought really hard. They were just like,
"We can't lose in New York!"
And we did. (snaps fingers) And it was such a bummer.
We lost it because George Washington screwed up.
He wasn't being a very good General.
And so, now it's getting cold now.
End of November, we leave New York.
And leaving New York meant, we don't have any tents,
stoves, wood, food, women-- - Still no shoes.
- Booze,
beer!
- Oh! - Which George Washington...
- That ties into our recipe.
- One of his first orders as Commander in Chief,
was that every Colonial soldier got a quart of beer a day.
- Oh, that's good. - I know.
- It's vitamins.
- Yeah! And you can't drink the water.
That'll kill ya.
- Well, and I did read, when I was researching this
that old beer, like the old timey beer,
was unfiltered, so it actually had a lot more--
- Nutrients.
- Yeah!
Vitamin B and like that.
- It was really nutritious, it was good,
it was good for you.
It was way, like you said, way healthier than water.
- Wholesome. - Most of the time. Wholesome.
And fun!
- Okay, so I'm gonna put in a little bit of flour,
and this is gonna thicken up our soup.
And I realized, I was so engrossed,
I forgot to put in the garlic.
So I'm gonna put some garlic in now.
I don't think it's too late.
- It's never too late for garlic.
- Is this looking familiar?
- Yeah!
It's really, it smells so good.
And I think it's hard to screw up.
- Oh, this smells so good.
- I know, right?
- We had some accidents.
- These things happen. - They happen.
- They happen all the time.
- You're drinkin' and talkin'.
Okay, so the flour in here is cooked.
I'm gonna add this yummy vegetable stock that I made
that looks cloudy but it's not.
It's just, it is cloudy,
but it's just because it's homemade,
and I didn't filter it through--
- You make your own?
See, you are a professional.
- A true, - She's the real deal!
- Chef.
This is gonna be good. - Yeeeah.
- Okay, so before you forget about the Delaware,
I'm also going to add some spices.
Some dry mustard. Does that sound right?
- Yeah! In fact,
- I did it last time and it was good.
- Wisconsin is home to the mustard museum.
- No!
- Yeah, it's a weird little sideshow place.
- I'll have to check that out.
- You can make your own mustard seasoning
and put it in a bottle.
- Oh my gosh. Mail it to a farm and,
all right, I added some white pepper
and a dash of cayenne.
Okay and then we're just gonna let this simmer and thicken
while we hear the Tale of the Delaware.
- Okay. So, we left George Washington,
and our Revolutionary Army, leaving New York,
- In a shit-storm. - In tatters.
- So Washington's like, "We gotta do something good!"
He's heard that the Brits and the Hessians
are on the other side of the Delaware River,
in Trenton, New Jersey.
And his collection of soldiers are on the Pennsylvania side.
Of the Delaware River. - And the Hessians are
Germans?
- So glad you asked that. Yes!
Not only are Hessians Germans,
they're German mercenaries.
- So they're trained fighters?
- Trained fighters. Hired and paid by Britain,
- Ohh!! - Just to kill Americans.
- That's why Britains aren't even so tough.
- Well, part of it for sure.
- And the Hessians were mean!
'Cause that was their job.
So they're stationed over there
- No way. - in Trenton, New Jersey,
and the Brits have left for the winter.
In fact, some of them started to sail back to England.
'Cause they're like, "This is pretty much (brushes hands)
"wrapped up! Let's go!"
And so, Washington's like, "We can't, we'll die this winter.
"We can't just wait around here until spring to fight,
"like everyone else.
"We're gonna have to do something serious."
So he is like, "Everyone needs to come to me.
"Come to this side of the Delaware.
"We're gonna make a decisive attack.
"We need the military to come and gather here."
And so, long fascinating story
about how long it takes to get there.
But ultimately, as many guys are as available,
show up. And so, on December 20th,
a bunch of new troops arrive, that's good news,
that bolsters things.
He's like, "There's a few guys down=river from us,
"at this Mount Holly. Let's see what they're doing.
"Maybe they can come and join us.
Goes down to Mount Holly, and these guys,
ugh! - Not interested?
- They're even hungrier.
And they're just like, "Oh, hi."
- They're all like (imitates coughing).
"We have tuberculosis."
- "How you doing?"
And they're like (groaning in disgust),
"How are you guys doing?"
They're like, "Not great."
- About to eat my own (drowned out by laughing)
- And they're like, "Well you're probably not gonna be
"really useful in this attack,
"but you know what you can do?
"Throw rocks at cars!
"Start a dumpster fire!
"Piss off some Hessians.
"Just get 'em to come down here.
"and engage--"
- A distraction! - Yeah! Yeah!
- You'll probably get killed.
- We're all gonna die probably,
but you'll die instead of rotting to death on this cot.
- Yeah, just get your head chopped off.
- You get bayonetted to a tree!
That's probably all right.
But not. By the way, it took a long time to die that way.
So Washington gets to the guys and is like,
"The fact is, we're gonna have to cross
"this here Delaware River,
"and to do that, we're gonna need some boats."
So they call in the river people,
who bring in the boats.
Remember I said loyalists?
Lots of people are loyalists?
It was a dangerous move.
Can I get in on this? - It smells really good.
I'm about to add some cheese.
- Ooh cheese!
I'm using a sharp ched.
_ Mmmm! - Okay?
Okay, so. - So.
- They're making a distraction for the Hessians.
- Made the distraction for the Hessians,
we call in on the river people
we need boats. Right?
And some of the people that got to call
were like, "George Washington's on the river.
"He needs boats so we can get across."
We're like, "He what? Nuh-uh."
And they told the Hessians, the spy network
did its job and told them like, "Get your tiddy up
"They're gonna come get you in the boats."
And they were like, "Those losers? Forget it."
Anyhoo, so they get the boats together.
And on Christmas Eve,
1776,
I know! Are you excited?
- I'm very excited. - Christmas Eve!
The boats come in. All the boats are assembled in secret
at the bottom.
And on Christmas Day, December 25, 1776
George Washington, ho-ho-ho, gathers all of his generals
and says, "We're gonna do some today.
"We're gonna get in these boats,
"we're gonna cross this here river,
"and we're gonna kill the Hessians.
"And the Brits."
I know!
"We're gonna attack!" Can you believe it?
- On Christmas!
- They're cold, they're starving, they're dying,
they're certain they're out-gunned,
- So there's no-- - and we're gonna attack!
- Wait, we should not do this on the Lord's day?
There was nothing like that?
- No. In fact, I think that's a really good point.
Not only did no one say no 'cause it's the Lord's day,
after their victory, they didn't thank Jesus either.
_ What?
- One of the most holy days in the Christian religion,
an unlikely victory, that arguably saved America,
and didn't nobody say, "Thank you, Jesus. Thank you God."
You wanna know why?
Because it was never a part of the founding of America.
That's why. In fact, the exclusion of any organized religion
was so fundamental to the founding of America,
that even though George Washington saved it
on Christmas Day, an arguable Christmas Miracle,
did nobody call it a Christmas Miracle.
So, it's Christmas Day. And it starts to snow,
and it starts to sleet.
Three separate groups set out across the river,
only one, George Washington's, makes it.
Anyway, so George Washington and his group
get across the to the other side.
So now, it's cold, they're behind schedule,
they're out-gunned,
they have a third of the number of guys they planned on,
and Washington's like, "Let's keep going."
'Cause he had a note in his pocket,
the code word, the thing he remembered all the time,
"Victory or death."
And when the stakes are that high,
it's actually not hard to be brave.
If you really really really are like,
I'm either gonna do this or,
you know?
- Or I'm gonna die either way.
- Victory or death!
So, they march in and the Hessians, Germans,
Christmas, they drunk, they asleep,
which is great! - Easy!
- Once they get into the Hessian village,
takes like 15 minutes.
- And they're like, "So lame."
- They kill the general, his name was Rall,
he was kind of a dick, so good riddance.
But once they killed the general, the Hessians were like,
"We're hired. We do not actually care to die today.
"We're hired! We don't care." - Yeah.
- So they surrender.
When he gets back to the other side,
and this victory, a couple of those Brits,
that had left, were like,
"What?" (makes beeping sound) "Turn this around.
"I guess the war isn't over."
They come back and it's like,
"We're gonna have to do something
"over the course of the winter."
The newspapers publish it, like Holy Hannah, guys!
George Washington's, - He did.
Made of dicks!
(laughing)
This guy's made of dicks!
- Or vaginas.
Vaginas are cool too.
- Vaginas are fantastic!
Maybe I pop quiz you.
- Oh. I'm gonna pop this top. (Dawn screams)
And add some beer.
- So, pop quiz.
- Okay, go.
- Signed the Declaration of Independence of course,
in July of?
- 1776?
- Correct!
George Washington crosses the Delaware as we just said,
in December of?
- 76. - Perfect.
When does the Revolutionary War end?
- I don't know.
- Do you have a guess how many years?
- Four years?
No! - Pretty damn close.
- Okay. So, we just added the beer
and I used an amber ale,
because I thought it would taste the best.
- Yeah, it's a great idea.
- I feel like hops would be kind of gross.
Like, what kind of beer
do you think people usually use in this?
- I don't know. I feel like my people
are usually rockin' a Bug Lite.
- Oh!
- Miller, Genuine Draft...
- Okay.
- Maybe a Schlitz.
- Whoa, all right. So a malt liquor even could work.
- Yeah. I think you're right though.
A malty, hoppy, real,
too much unique flavor of its own might...
- Yeah. - Challenge.
- And not be good.
- Can I put some?
- Yeah, put some crouts. Put some crouts on there.
- I was telling you earlier, in Wisconsin, popkern.
We usually put popkern.
- You call it "popkern"? - Popcorn!
- Did we finish the story?
- Yeah. Well you did good with your pop quiz.
I mean, the trick is, the story's never really over.
'Cause we are the Great American Experiment.
- The Experiment's still happening?
- We're still going.
But yeah, after we won this crazy unlikely battle,
then we win this crazy unlikely war.
And then we actually win this crazy unlikely democracy.
It was all so,
I mean the French - there's sill a giant--
- The French were like, "We're gonna do that too!"
And then they just guillotined all the rich people and
it up.
- I mean, we should probably do that now.
- Oh my God, this smells so good.
- Does it get this Wisconsinite Seal of Approval?
- Yeah. Ooh, look at all that yummy cheese.
Lookit, it does that.
- Is that supposed to happen?
'Cause last time I made it, it didn't separate like that.
- It depends. - Maybe I over-boiled it.
- I think that's kind of the beauty is,
it's beer cheese soup!
Cheese does this.
Some of my people just do that clump of Velveeta.
- Which I love Velveeta.
This is really good, though.
- And you can see how
if you were dying in the snow...
- And all you had was beer.
- And someone's like, "Do you want this beer cheese soup?"
You'd be like "Ooohh." (upbeat music playing)
- Well thanks for joining me, Dawn.
- Thank you for having me!
And for telling you this story,
and for giving me soup!
- I love this soup!
Thanks for suggesting Beer Cheese Soup.
I never would've made this otherwise.
- My pleasure.
- Cheers.
- Bye!
(upbeat music)