Still trying to figure out how to
connect your husband? Well, stay tuned and
watch how I can teach you how to make
that connection real.
So, men have a kind of a big struggle
that they face in their life. Because men
really are in charge of the projects, the
fixing, you know, making sure everything's
good, solving problems. But how do you
emotionally connect to your husband when
he's such in project mode, you know? As a
woman, what's happening is you want to
have conversation. But he's still working
on the projects and the problems you gave
him yesterday. And a man's mind is very
mechanical. And when it gets into a
project, it's thinking about it
constantly. And what happens is he can
withdraw from you because he's trying to
help you feel good and safe. And help
the family progress because he's working
on projects. Well, that emotional
connection can start to waver and it can
actually start to, you know, literally
evaporate and not even exist. So, what do
you do? How do you switch it, so that you
can create that emotional connection
with him? And be able to have that real
good solid relationship that you've
always wanted. Now, remember. Every time
you bring up a problem to your husband,
he's going to try to fix it. Even if you
don't ask him to fix it, he's going to try
to fix it. So, be careful where you send
your husband's mind because if it's all
about problems, problems, problems, he's
going to be in fix, fix, fix, fix mode. And he
can't be emotionally connected to you if
he's having that many problems that he
has to fix. So, how do you connect to your
husband emotionally when he's such in
Fix it and project mode. That's a good
question, right? Well, let's continue to
talk about how this even got created in
the first place before we get into
literally the 5 solutions that are
going to make a difference and bring that
emotional connection back. So again, your
husband is a man who wants to fix things
to make you happy. And he's a man who
wants to make sure the rules and and all
the things that are going on, the
guidelines for the family. And
everything's being followed. So, he's
going to want to fix, he's going to want to
make things better. He's going to want to
solve things and he's going to want to
provide and protect. And so, as long as
he's in that mode of being one of those
particular titles, he doesn't have time
to emotionally connect to you.
So, how do you get your husband to really
come back and be emotionally connected
to you? Well, as a woman you can create
that experience in five steps. So, one of
the first steps you want to look at is
how do you create a safe space? And a
safe space means, "Stop bringing up
problems. Don't bring up issues with kids,
don't bring up problems around the house
or something that's broken." As long as
you keep talking about those things that
are going on in the family and the house
and those kind of things, he's not going
to come out of project mode. So, to create
a safe space is to talk about your
relationship. You know, talk about what
you love about him, what you love about
the marriage, what you love about where
you're going as a family and the
progress that you're making. And if you
can create some safe conversations like
that, you'll notice he'll start to engage
in the conversations about you as a
relationship. And you a couple.
But if you go into the car, the house, the
yard, the kids, money, bills and that kind
of stuff, you're going to lose your husband.
So, to create a safe space means to
literally you know provide that place
where you literally are talking about
the relationship. Then of course, if you
get your husband really talking about,
you know, you as a couple, well then, you
don't want to talk about things that are
wrong in the couple because then now,
he's going to bring some things up and
you're going to go into fix-it mode. And
you're still not going to emotionally
connect. So, it's super important that
when you get your husband talking about
the relationship and what you love about
you know your marriage, where you're
going, listen. Listen because when you get
him to start sharing, don't you turn into
the fixer. Because when a man starts to
share, his feelings are going to come up. And
sometimes when feeling this comes up, you
might talk about the things that are
tough or difficult or challenging. And
now you could end up being the fixer
person and now you're now you're back
into the same thing you're doing before.
Both of you, stay out of the fix-it
language. Share and listen, share and
listen. That's how you emotionally
connect is you just share and listen.
Nobody's fixing anybody. Don't, no, no
fix it, no fix it. Okay, the next one that
really makes a difference is allow him
to feel. You can feel, he can feel. If he's
happy, he's upset, he's struggling, he's
lost, he's confused, it's okay.
It doesn't mean you're going to lose your
husband. Doesn't mean you're going to lose
your marriage. It means that you guys
really are now starting to emotionally
connect because you're allowing each
other to literally just feel. And don't
try to outdo each other on those
feelings like who feels worse. You know
in that situation. But to emotionally
connect means to emotionally share. And
if both of you can talk about this and
not and not going to fix it mode, boy,
you're going to have a fantastic
relationship. Every woman, every man wants
to emotionally connect. Because you
really feel close in those moments. But
you got allow each other to feel.
Sometimes what happens is we start to
feel and we want to make it better, make
it go away.
Allow it to feel. Now, another thing about
your husband is sometimes he's Superman
and sometimes he's Kent. You know, it's
just like, sometimes he's the goofy guy
and he doesn't know what he's doing and
there's other times he can be Superman.
And he can't fix things. But realize that
he doesn't have to be Superman all the
time. And really give him that permission
that he doesn't have to know all the
answers. Because you know, as a woman, you
know that many times you go to your
husband hoping he's got the answer to
everything. Got the answers to solving
the kid problems and homework issues and
why the dishwasher doesn't work and why
the drain is clogged and why the toilets
broken. I know you go to him thinking
he's always got to be Superman. But allow
him to be Kent. Allow him to be the goofy guy
that just as clumsy and kind of like, he
doesn't have to know everything.
If you always go to him with that
expectation, that he's supposed to know
it, it's too much, too much pressure. And
so, what does that mean? "Well, Kirk where
do I get all my answers if my husband
doesn't know everything?" Well, you can
talk to him about the challenge and then
you can brainstorm together
where to find the answer. Doesn't always
have to come from him. You see something
to realize is a man, it's value comes
from providing service
to others. And if he can't fix it and he
can't solve all your problems, he's going to
feel worthless. And so, don't make him
have to be the Superman all the time. And
when he's goofy, because you know a man's got
his goofy side. He's got his goofy side
where he just plays and he turns into
like this little boy. And he does, you
know, his little things or he makes
noises or... And, you know, how sometimes
you kind of... I'm not going to say mock but
I'm going to say, you know, you know what I'm
talking about. Your husband gets into
that funny goofy side. And then you kind
of look at him like, "Oh, honey why
are you this way?" What you want to do is
when he's in that playful mode, be
playful with him. A man who is playful
can do really good at providing and
protecting you and your family. He really
can. But if you tease him about his goofy
side and he always has to just show up
as Superman, he can't. And you're going to
disconnect from him. So, allow him to be
Kent. Allow him to be Kent. And then
number 5. And these are great because I
know you want to be emotionally
connected. Here's a great one. You get a
journal and in the first page of a
journal, just a little journal. Just a
little book. Super inexpensive.
On the inside, inside
cover of the journal, dedicate the
journal to your husband. A great way to
emotionally connect your husband is to
write him a journal entry every day.
Don't share the journal with them. I mean,
I'm not saying you can't but this is
like just between you and him.
You know, it's like, when you're dating
and and you found your boyfriend and
you're right about your boyfriend in
your journal, I mean, you are so
emotionally wrapped around that
boyfriend. It's just ridiculous. And that
journal is just so private because it has
all your thoughts and your feelings.
There's nothing wrong with having a
journal while you're married. And to
write your feelings and how much you
love him and what you love about him in
your journal. You see part of being
emotionally connected to your husband is
you wrapping your emotions around him.
Not only when he does good things. But
literally,
each day, a small entry about what you
love about him, what you appreciate about
him, what did he do good? What do you love
about his face features? What do you love
about the way he holds you or touched
you? And I'll tell you what happen, is
you will pour emotion out and around him.
And he will feel it and he'll respond to
it. But that is a powerful way to
emotionally connect with your husband. So,
check it out. I got to do is do one of
these. Do 2 of these, do 3 of these, do
4 of these, 5 of them. Of all
these though I'm going to suggest to you,
number 5 will gear and calibrate your
mind and open up your heart to really
open up and bring him closer to you. You
be a lot softer and gentler and you'll
you'll allow him to be exactly who he is.
That authentic amazing man and you'll
emotionally connect. So, with these few
steps that you watch here, you know this
is going to make a big difference. I hope
you loved what I shared with you. In fact,
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