Hi! It's Divya...
Geeeeeee [music plays in the background]
[keeps dragging out the G]
[still going strong]
Ew.
What? What does the G stand for?
The "G" stands for...
...
Gertrud.
Well, people liked my scifi/fantasy/dystopian "how to"
cover tutorial roasting, and because I have to keep my channel
current. And uh, fresh
- Unlike my style and my.. Jokes.
That's why today's edition is all about
keeping it modern; How to design a contemporary book novel.
Also known as "The John Green".
Sorry that my uploading schedule is a little bit
Shit
And I haven't uploaded in a while, but
Your girl's in Uni now and she's already burnt her toast,
cut her finger twice and dabbed at strangers through the kitchen window, so...
Fun times, yaay!
[sarcastic voice:] Socializing, it's so easy.
Being an adult is hard, but
being a teenager is also tougher than
the meat that I cooked last night.
Ha ha
YA contemporary novels make you feel less alone
in the wild, unruly, unpredictable thing we call Life.
And... School.
I'm not gonna lie:
The covers for some of these books are,
as they say in London,
Uplifting
No?
.. Uh, oh, okay
Uhm, but are we here to talk about the nice stuff?
No. We're all here for the shady roasts.
Ok, so there's many genres of contemporary,
and many of those have many subsections
- But today we are all about
"The John Green" types of books-
And y'all know what I'm talking about.
Isn't it ironic how these books are about
being quirky and unique, yet the covers
... Are anything But.
Hmmmm.
Like foundation, let's start with
the base. Uhm, we want a bright cover
and I think we should go for blue,
because let's be real:
The main character will probably start off the novel feeling a bit
Blue. Dabedidabeda
He he please laugh at my jokes...
Stretch of empty land, because,
this is about the journey of the teen's life.
They're lost,
on the road,
to discovering the breakdowns of who they are, which
direction
should their character arc follow?
Mapping out their dreams and failures.
Is anyone else...
... Tired of MY jokes yet?
It's the only thing that fuels me anymore.
[Violently sarcastic:] Ha ha ha hahaha
Honestly though, the key would these contemporary novels is
simplicity and minimalism:
Reflects the character because all these manic,
pixie, dream girls are THE SAME.
No matter how much they claim to be different, by-
... Speaking latin, or reciting Chaucer in their sparetime
and is ~socially inept~.
She's "not like other girls", I promise!
Because we're keeping it simple,
all we really need now is the title.
And preferrably using something that looks handwritten.
And something I would like, if I was still 12 years old,
and
it's 2012. So...
And last but not least the titt-less,
a.k.a. title. Honestly, they're so vague:
Yet deep. Yet oddly specific at the same time.
It's either gonna be full of prepositions,
include the word "the", or is a combination
of hipster names, so...
Let's just use them all!
Uhm, I think we should call it something pretentious.
So, let's just type in how you say pretentious
in latin: And that's perfect.
So,
we can call this one:
"There's", uhm, "the elements of ambitiosior and Mito"
Mito is short for "mitochondria",
because let's be real: They all have the weirdest,
strangest names. And it's all science-y and it's like:
Who has names like this in real life?
Literally no one.
Uhm
To finish it off we'll put some white lines,
maybe for the school chalk, yes right, because we are still teenagers
and, you know, everyone else does it so let's just do it too.
Uhm
And last but not least they try to entice you
to read these books by saying that your favourite author,
ever, also rates this book!
Uhm, and who else is the favourite,
you know, who is the god of contemporary,
quirky teen novels?
... John Green!
So, I think John Green read this book,
and he said:
...
"Nice".
- By John Green.
So yeah, here you go: Here is the
quirky teen, trashy, young adult contemporary!
Honestly, next time I'll probably do romance
or something. And if you want me to do
any other type of genres - 'cause I'm here roasting all
the genres - I'm literally just gonna do them all
because "why not?". And I have nothing better
to do on my Youtube channel anyway.
And apparently people like it,
so, yeah.
Follow me on Instagram, follow me on Snapchat,
follow my Tinder. Subscribe, Comment.
Uhm, that was a joke:
Don't follow me on Tinder, I don't have Tinder anyway.
But... Okay, yeah, see you next time - Bye!