We have created a culture that has told women that the most important thing she can be in life is beautiful.
And while we are persistently being told to embrace our beauty,
at the same time we are being bombarded with images of unrealistic hot summer bods and photoshop faces.
And as such we've created a standard of beauty
that is extremely narrow, unfair and for many simply out of reach.
We have a global species of uniquely created women of all shapes, sizes and colours that have now been manipulated
to believe that there's only one way to look good.
And if they don't fit the mold, rest assured there's a filter for that.
And if that doesn't work, they can even go further and inject fillers
to hide, polish and eliminate everything that makes us unique.
And look, we're not trying to say
it's easy as modern women to face these difficult challenges,
nor is it legitimate to downplay the struggle women face with their self-worth.
Professor Renee Engeln, psychologist and author of "Beauty Sick"
asked little girls what they really wanted to be when they grew up.
Most of them answered thin and pretty,
she also found that 90% of women today have no problem
identifying a body part that they're unhappy about,
while more than 50% hold a negative evaluation of their body.
This might explain the disappointment we feel when we look in the mirror.
A disappointment that unfortunately affects all women including Muslims.
We sat down with a friend working in the beauty industry
that let us know exactly how deep this issue really is.
Do you feel there's a surge in demand in terms of the use of fillers in our community?
– So I've been doing this in this industry for about 10 years now.
It has definitely changed, we're getting a younger crowd coming through.
And previously they used to come in for maybe one service,
whereas now they're coming in for a full face.
– Have you come across ladies who have become addicted to the fillers?
– Um, yes. So i have clients who come in every two weeks,
they're consistently chasing tweaks and little modifications to be made,
and it has become a bit of an addiction for them.
– Do you ever get requests from ladies asking to look like certain celebrities?
– Yes, so i have clients who come in with printed photos,
I also have clients who come in and reference instagram profiles directly and they really want to emulate that look,
so again we have to educate and redirect them as much as we can.
– As muslim women we need to understand that this facade of what it means to be beautiful
is a lie that is being fed to us and we need to counter it.
So how do we tackle this?
– We should remind ourselves that tranquility is a gift from Allah
and being content with who we are and how we look can only come from within.
External alterations cannot fix internal pain nor create peace in the hearts.
We should step aside from self-objectification
and appreciate that self-esteem is not simply dependent upon what our bodies look like.
The Prophet Muhammad, ﷺ said, "Allah does not look at your faces, but your hearts and deeds".
Those insecurities that we feel never really disappear,
yet we determine how much attention we give them.
Pondering over our perceived flaws only intensifies it and can lead to unhealthy obsessions.
Be a means of uplifting other women to love the vessel that Allah gave them.
Unfortunately, it can be the people that are the closest to us that damage our self-worth.
Parents mocking their daughter's weight, the shape of their nose, or the texture of their hair.
These comments may seem trivial but have lasting silent scars for many years to come.
The Prophet, ﷺ once changed the woman's name from عاصية "rebellious"
saying you are جميلة "beautiful", reinforcing this notion.
Remember that beauty like all aspects of dunya is temporary and will soon go away.
And those wrinkles and stretch marks are nothing more than a sign that nothing in this world lasts forever.
So there's really no point in tryingto fight something that Allah has already decreed will fade away.
So while humanity is shackled and enslaved, we're trying to fit into the body trends and latest fads,
Islam frees you,
Allah empowers us to redirect our focus to the true purpose of our existence.
– So next time you're looking at the mirror, lower your expectations.
Yes, you might have cellulite and stretch marks but who cares?
In the end this is not who you really are.
These things don't define you.
We owe it to ourselves to be more than just a body or an image to be sold on a magazine cover.
Make sure you are taking care of what's inside and perfecting that
because our body is but an instrument to house our soul.
May Allah bless you all.
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