- Hi, my name is Kevin,
and I am here as a representative of
every adult everywhere.
I have a number of assumptions about
what it means to be a teenager,
so today we're gonna bring in some real teens
and I am going to test my assumptions.
(lively jazz music)
- Reggie.
- I'm Kevin.
Hi, I'm Kevin.
- Hi, Victoria.
- Nice to meet ya.
- Nice to meet you!
- Thanks for coming in.
So, here's what I got,
a set of assumptions,
I got some rapid-fire questions,
and then I got a speed round.
This is not a quiz, don't worry.
- Okay.
- Oh, okay.
- First off, assumptions.
Here's some things I assume about being a teenager.
First, you fall asleep with your phone every night.
- What do you mean with your phone?
- You fall asleep every night like
texting your friends, don't you?
Yeah, you do.
You know that's bad for you right?
I assume that you fall asleep with your phone every night.
- Absolutely not.
- [Kevin] Really?
- My mom would never--
- Oh, are you are good kid?
Yeah, you're a good kid.
All of your communication is via Snapchat.
- No.
- Really?
- No, I don't own Snapchat.
- You don't?
- No.
- Is Snapchat not cool anymore?
Do you use Facebook Messenger?
- No.
- No one does.
- No.
- I normally just DM through my Instagram.
- Instagram as a chat application.
- [Victoria] Yes. - Not aware.
Fortnite is bigger than professional sports.
- A lot of people I know play Fortnite.
- Which one are they more obsessed with?
- Fortnite.
- Mmm - Yeah.
- So you don't play Fortnite?
- No.
- You're the only teen that doesn't play Fortnite?
- Yeah, I play 2K Madden.
- Right, everyone knows 2K.
- Not Fortnite though.
- I don't play 2K.
You have never bought a magazine.
- Never.
Never, I've never bought a magazine.
- Not even like, if you're on a flight
and you just wanna pick up People magazine
to see who the kids are talking about?
- No. - [Kevin] Okay.
- Never.
You should buy a magazine some time.
- Yeah!
- The print industry is dying, they would appreciate it.
- True.
- You've never had a landline.
- Is that like a home phone?
- That's what a home phone, yeah.
- No, I haven't.
- You've never had a landline?
- No.
- How old were you when you got your cell phone?
- 14. - Okay, not bad.
- So I got my first one in fourth grade,
which is like really, it's like really,
I know, I know.
- You had an iPhone when you were in fourth grade?
- Yes.
(laughing)
This is not going well.
- Do you know how old I was when I got my first cell phone?
- In your twenties?
- Yeah.
- Was it like the big brick ones
you gotta hold with two hands?
- No Reggie, it was a Nokia, okay?
You don't spend a lot of time outdoors.
- Not as much time as I would like.
- [Kevin] Okay.
- I am on online schooled.
- Do you have online recess?
- I wish!
- You can't have your phone in class,
but you can have your laptop.
- I have both regardless, so it doesn't matter.
- Because your teacher assumes when you're on
your phone that you're texting--
- Uhuh.
- But they assume that when you are on your laptop
you're taking notes. - You're working!
Yeah, but that is not true.
- Not the case.
Not the case. - Not true at all.
- Teachers of America, you heard it here.
- They have Google Docs and they share with each other--
- This is what I heard!
- And they type.
- Yeah, cause it looks like you're all working
on a document together,
but you're all just gossiping via Google Docs.
That is brilliant!
That's the one thing I will give your generation,
is that you have taken screwing around in class
high tech. - To another level.
- Yeah.
I'm assuming that you don't have a poster
of supermodel Kathy Ireland on your wall.
- Who?
- Yep.
That was just me.
Little too personal on that one.
It's okay, we're gonna dial it back a little.
Next one, coming out isn't really a thing anymore.
- Coming out of what?
- It's not as big of a thing anymore.
It's just like, oh yeah.
- So if you have friends who are LGBTQ
it's just kind of always been that way.
- Yeah, people I've known,
yeah they've always been that way.
- That's great.
You care more about climate change than I do.
- Yes.
- No.
- Okay, you don't care about climate change?
- I'm going to start learning about it, how 'bout that?
- You should!
- Yes.
- It is your planet.
- Exactly, it's your planet too.
- Well, not for long, but yeah.
Last assumption, you stalk your teachers social media.
- No.
- But you know people who do.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Oh, okay.
So, in my old school people used to really go in depth.
I have been able to find some teachers on social media.
- She could have just said "Yeah, I stalk my teachers"--
- No, I do not, I don't stalk!
- I think you do Victoria.
And if social media was around when I was in high school,
I would have totally done it.
Are you kidding me?
- I see that.
- Wait, was that a personal attack?
- No, it was not!
- Okay, alright. - I promise!
- Careful!
Alright, next: rapid-fire questions.
You don't have to think a lot about these.
The quicker you answer, the better.
Are we still throwing shade?
- Yes.
- Okay, good.
- No. - We're not?
Okay.
What's better, flossing or flexing?
- Wait, wait, wait.
Do you mean like, literal flossing?
- Reggie.
- Flexing.
- Always flexing. - Flexing.
- Proper hygiene is important.
Flossing your teeth, excellent.
You know it the beginning when it says HBO presents
and it's like 'sssss' and then it's like 'wah',
do you know what that 'sssss' is?
- No.
- TV static.
- So you know what TV static is.
- Yes. - Okay.
- Yes. - Explain to me
what TV static is.
- It's like dots on the screen--
- Yeah, but when does it happen?
- When the network doesn't work.
Something like that.
- Are we gonna accept that?
Alright, we'll accept that.
Do I still have to keep up with the Kardashians?
- No!
- Thank you!
- When was you ever supposed to?
- Thank you!
Right?
Last of the rapid-fire questions.
What is a Billie Eilish and why am I afraid of it?
- Oh my gosh, okay.
She's a music artist.
She's like "pop" but it's not pop at all.
She has her own genre of music.
She is different that everybody else.
- Yeah, and that's scary to people my age.
- It's scary. - Yeah.
Finally, we've got a speed round.
I've just gonna list a bunch of things
that I assume are not cool
and you tell me whether or not I'm right.
Facebook.
- Not cool.
- Coconut water.
- Not cool.
- Prom court.
- Not cool.
- Yeah, nobody does prom anymore.
Having cash in your wallet.
- Not cool.
Credit card boys.
- Britney Spears.
- Cool.
- Cool?
- I still listen to her music.
- Good. - She's great.
- She's an American treasure.
Justin Timberlake.
- Not cool.
- No, he's not.
He used to go to my gym.
He was always in front of me whenever
I was trying to like use a piece of equipment,
and people would be like "Oh, hey Justin".
I'd be like "I'm just trying to work out"
(laughing)
This is a personal story Victoria,
doesn't have any baring on it.
College.
- Cool. - Cool.
Monogamy.
- Cool.
It really just depends on that you and your partner
have the same beliefs.
- Monogamy.
- Not cool.
- BuzzFeed.
- Oh, cool.
- Very cool.
- Liar.
- No! - Why are you lying?
- I'm not lying!
- Okay.
Last question, here we go.
How old do you think I am?
- Judging by the hair line--
- Ooh careful.
- Ah 43?
- You son of a (beep)
(laughing)
I'm 40.
- Oh, I was close!
- You were close, you were close,
but 43 makes my heart hurt.
Do I seem old to you?
- No.
- Right answer.
That's all I got.
Keep flossing>
- I will.
- This way and this way, right?
(light music)