(lively guitar music)
- Good evening, welcome to Set List,
standup without a net live at NerdMelt, yes!
We're taking comedians and we're putting them
in the most uncomfortable place possible.
They're gonna come up here and improvise an entire
standup routine out of these crazy, bizarre ideas.
- Yeah, you can't really
prepare for it, that's the one thing.
- Will you welcome the never before seen set list
of the brilliant Mr. Glen Wool!
(audience claps and cheers)
(lively drum music)
- Hello!
That's enough!
(audience laughs)
Hope you're well!
(audience laughs)
But if you're not, that's okay too.
You don't have to sit here and pretend
that you're happy, not today!
(audience laughs)
It's fucked out there, everything, why?
(audience laughs)
I just want to step on people's happiness!
(audience laughs)
I don't give a shit who you've hired
for the entertainment for your child.
'Cause I got different things that make me tick, man.
Alright, if I wanted to have sex with the man
to give me a hard-on, that wouldn't be illegal.
(audience laughs)
That would be okay, but what if that doesn't make me tick?
(audience laughs)
What if a wife and a family isn't what I wanted?
What if I wanted to drown clowns?
(audience laughs)
Would you judge me?
Would you make a law?
(audience laughs)
You fucking hypocrites!
(audience laughs)
I can only ejaculate when I see a foam nose floating!
(audience laughs and claps)
You think you're better than me though, don't you?
(audience laughs)
You think you're better, you spend your whole day
at SeaWorld, filling out police reports.
(audience laughs)
All you've done is find a dead, overweight mid-forties man
with greased paint smeared all over his face,
(audience laughs)
a little rainbow wig, big shoes,
(audience laughs)
floating around in the dolphin tank!
(audience laughs and claps)
Dead.
The cops are like, what happened?
And you're like, well I don't fucking know!
(audience laughs)
It wasn't part of the show.
(audience laughs)
We just took the kids down and this is what happened,
I mean, did you, fuck, ask the dolphins!
(audience laughs)
But you can't, man, 'cause they don't speak English.
(audience laughs)
So the dead clown fuck guy is still at large.
(audience laughs)
But I'll tell you this!
(audience laughs)
Where I'm from, you can commit a crime and get off.
(audience claps and laughs)
(comedian laughs)
Has the jury come to a decision?
(audience laughs)
(drum beats)
(audience claps)
- Glen Wool, ladies and gentlemen!
(upbeat techno music)