- In this video, I'm gonna show you the three things that,
once I let go of,
allowed me to manifest my greatest desires.
I'm gonna show you whether you wanna attract love,
whether you wanna attract abundance,
whether you wanna live your purpose full time,
whatever it is,
there's three things that letting go of changes
absolutely everything.
Now, the first thing to let go of when it comes
to this is letting go of the old belief systems
and the old identities that are tied
to what is called your past self.
So if I were to like, simply describe,
like, the big transformation that I made back in 2017,
there was an old version of me.
In a way, it was the version of me
I was currently being, which I was thinking, I was feeling,
I was acting in alignment with an identity, a self image,
a way that I saw myself that was on autopilot.
And I was working
that nine to five job selling women's shoes,
going into work every day,
getting the same results over and over again.
And my reality was a complete reflection
of who I believed myself to be.
When I look back as well,
I wasn't aware of this at the time necessarily
but my belief systems were also in alignment
with like, I believed I was only worthy
of having a nine to five job.
So I'd go to work
at this nine to five job selling women's shoes.
I would complain to my other coworkers
about how slow it was at work.
And I would have to suckup
to management to get the schedule I wanted.
There were all these dynamics that were in place simply
because it was a natural part of my own self image.
It was a natural part of my own identity.
And realize that one of the strongest human desires there is
is to remain consistent to the way that you define yourself.
We all have an inner self image that we are projecting
out into the world that people are responding to.
And we also have an inner self image that we are living
in accordance to.
And for a long time in my life, for 10 years
I sold women's shoes, almost, like eight or nine years.
I sold women's shoes first
at Nordstrom's in women's shoes, in Vegas,
and then I worked at Barney's New York, which is
like a higher end retail store, like $1,200 pair of shoes.
And that was my life.
I sold, that that's my, that was a part of my identity.
And it was very hard for me to let go
of that old identity because I got so much comfort from it.
I got so much familiarity from it.
And a lot of times we're addicted
to familiar energies, familiar emotions, familiar stories,
because in a weird way, they kind of feel safe.
Now for me to go from the shift from this version of me
to the version of me, that was, and is, I guess what
you could call like a full-time YouTuber.
Even more than that,
now I've had to shift out of that identity because now
I do live events.
I do retreats.
I don't wanna just be considered a YouTuber,
even though most of my audience is on YouTube.
I've had to even like at that time though,
I had to shift from this identity into being the version
of me that I am now.
And of course the cool thing is that what quantum
physics shows us is that every moment's a new moment.
Every moment's a new moment.
Every so often all the cells in our body
are dying and being reborn.
The only thing that really keeps us stuck
in the past is our story
and the old identity that we're remaining consistent to.
So more powerful than just saying, okay,
now I'm a full-time YouTuber.
Now I'm this version of me,
a big part of it was I had to let go
of the past version of me.
I had to let go of the belief system that I have to
work a nine to five job that I'm only worthy
of working a nine to five job, that this is who I am.
And I had to start realizing that who I really
prefer to be is somebody that's putting myself out there.
Somebody that's making content,
somebody that's trying to help people, like,
awaken to raise their vibration,
their level of consciousness.
As I started to identify
with that version of me, I started to,
I was also dis-identifying with the past version of me.
Think about what happens a lot
of times when people, for example,
I used this analogy before, but like people in Bikram yoga,
for example.
Bikram yoga, you'll go to, which is like hot yoga,
you'll go, and what they'll tell you is you need to come
for eight, seven, 10 days in order to get the full benefit.
So the first day you go,
you're just this old identity doing this yoga thing.
Then the second, and then that's it.
And then you're kind okay.
But they said I had to go 10 days in order for me to,
in order for me to like, know if this is worth it or not.
And then what happens is you go from there
you do it the second day.
Then the third day, the fourth day, the fifth day.
And then all of a sudden you're like, you know what?
I'm gonna go buy these like yoga pants.
I'm gonna go buy a yoga mat.
And then you start to change your sense of identity.
And then you're like, whoa,
maybe I'm just a yoga person from now on.
Then by day 10, your whole identity may be shifted
to where now you view yourself
as this person that's been doing it for 10 days in a row.
Your identity has now shifted.
And now you, one of the strongest human desires there is
is to remain consistent to the way you define yourself.
So, because you now define yourself
as a yoga person, guess what?
Now it's easier for you to remain
in alignment with that new sense of identity.
I used that same analogy cause I was going
to Bikram yoga at the time when I was selling woman's shoes.
I used that same analogy.
I started to, instead of being this,
my thoughts, my emotions, my actions were equal
to this nine to five job, started to say,
what if I made a video every single day?
And what happened is over the course
of a couple months, I've made a rule, no matter what,
I'm gonna make a video every single day,
over the course of the next couple months,
my whole entire identity shifted.
I became this new version of me that then had
a new reflection.
My YouTube channel took off within three to six,
within six months I was working,
I was able to put my two weeks in at Barney's New York
and never had to work a nine to five job again.
But my identity shifted.
I had to let go of the nine to five mentality,
let go of the belief systems
and the belief in, I had to work a nine to five
job I wasn't passionate about.
And then I had to be this new version of me
and commit to it.
But letting go is an important part of that.
Sometimes we'll say, oh, just be this version of you.
But if we don't let go, sometimes even the payoffs,
we have payoffs for certain things that we do
that we're not aware of.
We may have the payoff of going to that nine to five job.
And that payoff I was getting,
which means there's like an, there's an emotional,
like, little jolt of energy I'm getting from it.
Even if I don't like it.
Maybe it was an addiction to,
like, the toxic workplace that was reenacting some
of my childhood energy,
the childhood trauma that I experienced.
The power dynamics that play that felt safe
and comfortable, getting the consistent paycheck.
These are all things that I got,
obviously, a payoff from.
Even the form of a paycheck.
But that was one of the first things that I had
to let go of in order for me to really
create my dream life is I had to let go
of my old identity
and the addiction to being this certain way.
And that I had to choose to be,
give myself permission to be this new version of me,
knowing that I'm a new version of myself every moment.
That changed so much about myself.
Now, the next thing we're gonna go a little bit deeper.
And this is a core thing that like will change so much
once you become aware of it.
One thing that I had to let go of to become
and to live my dream life and to, like,
to really live in more abundance
than ever before is I had to let go of my core wound.
The core wound that I had.
Now, I believe there's three core wounds that I've noticed
in thousands of people that have been
through my challenges and whatnot.
Those core wounds are one, the abandonment wound
where, as kids, we felt like our mom or dad
maybe physically or emotionally wasn't there.
And then we wired into belief that said
there's something wrong with me.
I must change myself to make other people happy.
For a long time it was hard for me to set boundaries
because I felt like I had to please
everybody else I had to make everybody else happy.
My relationships were very depolarized
because I was trying to please, trying to please,
it was very transactional, very conditional relationships.
The abandonment wound, though,
is something that I wired in the level of shame.
There's something wrong with me.
I must change myself to make other people happy.
I don't want people to leave me
and I would end up sabotaging my relations because of that.
And I would also sabotage my own abundance.
So that's the first thing to become aware of.
And remember, 90% of all transformation it's awareness.
Once I became aware
that I was trying to change myself to make others happy,
I was able to actually change,
start to look at that and not do that anymore.
The second wound is the worthiness wound.
You feel like you're not enough.
For a long time, I felt like I wasn't enough.
There's something wrong with me.
I would have to compensate in other ways.
I would kind of have this belief where like,
if somebody were to do something nice for me, I would just,
wouldn't almost not even be able to perceive of it.
I felt like it was, it was something where, like,
it was also a lot of times
some of these wounds can also be kind of connected.
You know?
Obviously level of shame of I'm broken or something wrong
with me can lead to also not having worthiness
which can lead to the third wound
that I'm gonna share in a sec.
But abundance in your life and love
in your life comes as a reflection
of whether you believe you deserve it or not.
And that not deserving
in a sense of entitlement, but there's,
and that's why I say a lot of times, it's not about you.
You feel unworthy.
You need to believe you're worthy.
That's not what I'm suggesting,
because a lot of times worthiness can also
be very like entitled, right?
Just let go of the belief that you're not worthy.
When we say we're not worthy,
a lot of times we're saying like,
everything in this reality has a purpose.
The trees, the bees, the plants,
everything has a purpose, includes you.
And by us saying, I don't have a purpose or I'm not worthy,
everything is worthy already inherently built into reality.
But when we don't believe we're worthy
we then literally like cap
off ways of abundance from coming into our life.
And one thing that I had to learn to do is I had to
learn how to stop capping off the abundance in my life.
I had to know that life could get even better and better.
I'd allow myself to receive.
I remember when I first started making money online
and I started learning, like I had my first course
it was like a morning routine course.
And I remember selling that.
I made like 3,200 bucks
in like a couple weeks of like launching that course.
And that was like a whole new reality for me.
I had to know that I was worthy of it.
I remember the first time my YouTube channel started to take
off and I got all weird about it.
I started like thinking about, oh my God,
the YouTube channel taking off.
And I was like, sabotaging my own energy
because it was like, it felt so weird.
I didn't know how to receive it.
But worthiness is becoming aware that
you might believe you're not worthy,
and that may have been wired
in from like how you were treated younger.
I'm not saying to blame your parents or anything.
It's just becoming aware that this meaning's in place
that you can let go become aware of it and let it go.
The third wound is on not being able to trust.
Not being able to trust the universe,
trying to control outcome of things.
This causes a lot of blockages.
And one thing to realize, one thing that really helped me
with this is to stop focusing
on just the outcome of things,
to start trusting my own life.
And I realized that because I didn't trust,
and because I had trust issues,
because I had an ex stepmom in my life that was
very emotionally manipulative and physically abusive,
I wired in this belief that I can't trust people.
I can't trust the universe because why
would the universe allow this shitty stuff to happen to me?
Why would other people allow the shitty stuff to
happen to me?
So, one thing that I had to do is I had to start looking
at that belief.
One thing I also had to do is I had to forgive my ex stepmom
because my ex stepmom,
even though she left my life when I was 15,
I never really had to see her again,
people in my life kept coming
into my life to reflect back that old stepmom energy
of someone trying to control me.
It was first with the form of like ex-girlfriends
and then it was a manager.
It was crazy how one-on-one reflection it was,
because it felt familiar to me.
And I, once I forgave my ex stepmom and I realized
that she was in a weird way, doing the best she could
with where she was, she was like treated by her dad,
her dad was like a narcissist that was
like beating the crap outta her.
So she was doing that
to my brother and I, didn't make it right.
There wasn't like, oh thank God.
But it did help me understand her more.
And it helped me to forgive her.
And once I forgave her,
people in my life that were controlling, they left.
It was the craziest thing.
So to really trust the universe, though,
the key is to become aware
of what resentment you might be holding onto.
Maybe you resent, resent the universe, you resent God.
I know my uncle passed away like five to seven years ago.
And when he passed away
I could tell my grandma developed a belief system
that's like, why would God?
Because her best friend died.
And then she developed this belief and she's almost
like mad at God, mad that God would do that to her.
So she had this belief system that God,
the universe just doesn't like her, you know?
And I can see how that would block abundance
and block you from actually being able to receive
the greatness in your life.
So letting go of the belief that you're unworthy,
letting go of the belief that you can't trust,
that it's only safe to be
in your little bubble and you have to control the outcome
of things that really screws things up.
Awareness of these things is the key.
And then you can let go
of the old meaning is really what this is.
There's a meaning that was there that says I'm not worthy.
I'm broken.
There's something wrong with me.
I can't trust.
Those are meanings you become aware of
and you let go and it transforms your life.
Now the third thing to let go of
that completely change everything
that's kind of similar to what I was just talking about
in a deeper way, but for you to really receive the abundance
in your life, you have to be present.
You have to be present to the moment.
And that means not just being outcome focused.
When I first started making YouTube videos for a while
I was just making videos cause I was so passionate about it.
I wanted share videos.
I wanted share ideas with people.
I wanted help people.
When I was selling women's shoes,
if I wanted to work and I wanted to help people,
like I wanted to like add value to people.
I wanted to connect with people.
I would do very well.
If I went into my nine to five job selling women's shoes
which is completely commission based,
and I was like, I want them to help me make my paycheck,
I wanna like manipulate and get my, the money that I want.
Very resistant to energy.
And it wouldn't work out.
I wouldn't do as well.
I applied that same learnings to my YouTube channel.
Only make videos that I'm passionate about,
that I wanna like share with the world,
and not be attached to outcome of what people think.
And as I started like enjoying the process more,
I started to do better.
It was incredible how well this worked
once I started to apply it.
And when I make it a video and I'm like
I need so many people to watch this video.
I need this out of it.
You can feel that there's manipulative energy there.
So the key's really letting go, letting go of outcome
and the key to this is being present
to the moment and enjoying the process, not doing something
because of what it'll get you,
do it because it's who you are.
Make this video right now because it's part of my identity.
Part of who I am.
It's who I choose to be.
It's passionate in the moment.
Also, what helps people to manifest their
greatest desires is to enjoy the process more,
to have more fun.
When I went into work and I focused on having fun
and connecting with people, I did so well.
When I went, did the work and I was very serious.
I was like, I need to make money.
I need to do this, need to do that.
Very different energy.
I was watching Iron Chef last night and in Iron Chef
there were these two guys going against each other.
One guy was very serious.
The other group was this guy that had
like this really youthful energy.
That was like every dish that he made
on Iron Chef was like in like a little like dinosaur thing.
It was like in this lunch box, he was like, he liked to cook
and to like bring the inner child through his cooking.
But he was also drinking while, he was like drinking alcohol
while he was cooking, he was just having so much fun.
And it was so funny to watch the difference
because this other guy, this Australian guy,
that's like an Iron Chef was like
super serious, really into it.
Super controller mentality.
The other guy was super chilled, super laid back.
Now, ironically enough,
the guy that was super serious actually won.
So maybe that kind of goes against
what I'm sharing here, but I can tell you,
the other guy enjoyed the process a lot more.
Now there's a deeper element here
because a lot of times we can say, oh,
the guy that one did this, that works even better.
And what I've learned in my own life is a lot
of times the answer is not this or this.
It's a little bit of both.
I think this guy could have maybe enjoyed the process
a little bit more because one of the reasons he
might be such an amazing Iron Chef could be because of his,
maybe some type of thing that happened
as a kid where he realized he didn't feel safe.
So he has to like create all this achievement
in the world in order for him to feel good enough.
So he may actually feel unworthy.
And for him to feel worthy,
he's gotta become super successful and be the
best at what he does in order to like be enough.
And that might work for him.
And a lot of times me making thousands of YouTube videos,
part of the thing that triggered that was like
I felt like I wanted to prove my sense of worthiness
and sense of value out in the world by making these videos.
And I had to eventually realize
that this was like kind of rooted in feeling unworthy
and I to start realize, wait, I'm worthy for just being me.
If I stop making videos, that's not 'cause I'm not worthy.
I'm worthy just for being me.
And the reason I share that with you right now is
because I think this is a, it's a little bit of both.
It's a little bit of being focused on the outcome
and also being in the moment.
It's both, you know?
Having a vision for where you're going, but doing it
not 'case you need to be the best Iron Chef for the world.
Cause otherwise you're gonna be like, you're not worthy
but just being it 'cause it's who you are
and embodying that energy.
And the more you give your permission
to embody that energy,
the more your life will change in such a powerful way.
Now there is a inner child meditation,
everything I'm sharing with you right now,
if you do this inner inner child meditation
it will help you to completely transform your energy
from the inside out.
You can heal the trust wound,
the abandonment wound, the worthiness wound.
And you'll notice that everything
in your life because it changes a reflection of that.
So if you wanna listen to that meditation,
it's my most powerful meditation, it's absolutely free.
You go to aarondoughty.com/child
or click the link in the description box below.
It's the inner child meditation
but it's aarondoughty.com/child.
Check that out.
Also, if you want a video
that's gonna show you how to create more magnetic energy
than ever before so you can really attract
your true desires,
watch this video right here.
In this video, I want to share you five secrets
to letting go that will make you more attractive
and that will completely transform your life.
And when you start applying them, it changes everything
because you start realizing who you really are
and you start letting go of what you are not.