Guy: Where can we meet? I wanna meet you right now! When can we meet? I'll punch you in your mouth!
Abdo: Happy Halloween!
Abdo: We've been doing real unscripted pranks forever.
Abdo: So this week we decided to call back some of our craziest prank victims for Halloween.
Abdo: Starting with this ex-gang member who has been in jail multiple times for attempted murder.
Abdo: And literally wanted to kill Tyrone the last time they spoked.
Guy: I'm a grown man! Anybody comes to I'ma chop their f***ing head off man!
Guy: I'ma solider man!
[phone ringing]
Guy: Hello?
Abdo: Yeah hello brother, how are you? Happy Halloween!
Guy: Man I don't celebrate no European Halloween man, who is this?
Abdo: Uh it's Abdo. I wanted to come make trick or treating with my son today. Will you have candies this year?
Guy: No, we don't pass out candies man, that's some honkey holiday. I don't celebrate this s**t!
Abdo: Like, the kids, they love it man, like you don't have to celebrate it.
Abdo: You can just be nice and give some candy to the children, right? Like, why not?
Guy: What - what - where can we meet? I wanna meet you right now, where can we meet?!
Guy: I'll punch you in your mouth!
Abdo: Uh brother -
Guy: I will punch you in your mouth!
Abdo: - brother, why are you being stupid? Why are you being stupid?
Abdo: Man, why are you being stupid? Like -
Guy: We at war! We at war! I'm in war - with pale faces, you pale face yourself!
Abdo: but - but brother I'm a brown guy, right? Like -
Guy: I'll face y'all in the United States!
Abdo: - listen man, but why are you so violent brother? I'm brown like -
Abdo: - are you - are you brown too?
Guy: You ain't f**king brown man!
Abdo: But - but what do you mean? [phone call ends]
Russell: [laughing] Oh my God dude!
Russell: Oh my God!
Russell: Years have passed!
Russell: And he's still - just as crazy!
Abdo: Then there was this guy.
Abdo: Who's a billhilly who really struggles to know the difference between black and white.
Jim: There ain't no f***ing black folks on my f***ing property, d**k head!
Jim: And I guarantee you ain't done no f***ing work for me!
Billy: Excuse me?!
Jim: And don't call me back again motherf***er!
Billy: Motherf***er do I don diddly do da sound like a black man to you?!
[phone ringing]
Billy: Hey there Jim, how you doing?
Billy: Honestly, I was just calling to wish you a happy Halloween and see if y'all giving out candy tonight.
Jim: No, I'm not.
Billy: Okay well, me and my wife we're going out for trick and treat. How can we come see you man? I wanna come say hello.
Jim: No, how about that?
Billy: But why are you so grumpy man?
Billy: It's the giving time. It's the season of giving.
Jim: I don't wanna f**king talk to you dude!
Billy: Yeah.
Jim: Cleared up, I'm gonna clear your head like f**king beef!
Billy: Okay, well, listen here man.
Billy: My blood sugar is low at Halloween, I was hoping to get some free candy.
Billy: Where can I get something from you?
Jim: You ain't getting anything free from me buckwheat!
Billy: Did you just call me buckwheat? Why would you say that to me? [phone call ends]
Russell: Oh my God!
Russell: He still uses buckwheat. Years later!
[phone ringing]
Billy: I just want you to know that we're gonna TP your house and I -
Billy: - because you have been a very big a**hole and I'm very upset about that. So I hope you're ready for it.
Jim: You're f***ing ass too, how 'bout that?
Billy: Okay, I hope you're ready 'cause I've got 3 cawls of Bounty toilet paper uh -
Billy: Bounty paper towel rolls and some Charmin.
Jim: You better keep dome of that foot in your holes hom - [indistinctive]
Billy: Okay, alright, buckwheat!
Billy: Don't you ever call me buckwheat again.
Billy: Don't you ever call me buckwheat -
Jim: F**k you motherf***er! I'll whip tour f***ing ass!
Billy: I'll come over there and shove a Snickers bar so far up you ass you'll f***ing taste it!
Jim: Come on! Come one!
Billy: I'm son diddly doo do gonna slap that ass! I'm gonna f***ing slap that ass!
Jim: Yeah, yeah, yeah! Billy: I'll tell you what - What you are f***ing saying?! F**k you! Billy: Ill don diddly doo do - [phone call ends]
Russell: He hung up!
Russell: Oh my God! Man...
Abdo: Honestly, the machete guy is so crazy! We had to call back one hour later.
Abdo: But this time, his crazy daughter answered instead!
[phone ringing]
Girl: Hello?
Chris: Yeah, hey, I - James was just talking to my dad a moment ago
Chris: and I was just trying to call to see if I can smooth things over.
Chris: I don't know if they were arguing or what was happening but like -
Chris: [stuttering] It was really bad vibes.
Girl: Hold on, hold on, who is this?
Chris: Yeah, it's Chris.
Chris: Like, my nickname is Chris but my legal name is Mahmood.
Girl: Are you gay?
Chris: A little.
Girl: Answer my question, are you gay? Yes or no?
Chris: Well, just - For now I'm kinda just gay part time, to see if I like it.
Chris: I wanna try it out so like - [stuttering] like a little test drive.
Chris: It's like I'm test driving a car.
Chris: But with my booty. [chuckles]
Girl: Are you white?
Chris: [stuttering] Why are you so grouchy though? I don't get it. I just, like -
Girl: I want you to spell grouchy.
Chris: G-R-O-U-C-H-Y. Grouchy.
Chris: Do you want me to use it in a sentence, too?
Girl: Yes, use it in a sentence.
Chris: James'[censored] daughter is a grouchy bitch.
Girl: Okay, look here, motherf***er, you ain't gonna call me that.
Girl: That's how you know, you're not gonna call this number again. [phone call ends]
Chris: Hello? Grouchy little bitch? Where are you?
Russell: Oh my God...
Russell: His daughter, which I initially thought was his son, sounds so much like him.
Russell: Like, definitely his DNA.
[phone ringing]
Girl: Stop calling this goddamn number!
Guy: Why did you - What do you want? What's the nature of your business?
Chris: No - [stuttering] We wanted to come by for Halloween, I think we used to be neighbors or something
Chris: 'cause like, you were in my dad's Rolodex and like -
Guy: Where you at? Right now, where you at? We can go trick or treats.
Chris: Like, do you have a costume or no? Hello? [phone call ends]