Meghan Markle was interviewed along Mellody Hobson to talk about how to advance women's
equality.
And I couldn't help but notice Meghan's ability to turn the conversation towards herself at
every possible opportunity.
Now, this interview is about 30 minutes long and it's a massive lode of body language,
verbal and behavior signals, so I'll be talking about it in more videos.
But in this one, you'll learn how to spot the speech patterns of someone who can't help
but talk about themselves.
And that's an useful clue to spot a narcissist.
Welcome back, my body language buddies! my name is Jesús Enrique Rosas, I'm the Body
Language Guy, and it would be great if you join us by just liking this video, subscribing
and hitting that bell! let's get down to it!
What is most interesting about this interview is that Meghan is invited to talk about a
current, very pressing issue, that is women's equality.
She is not being asked about herself, as in her personal experience, but instead what
is her take on these affairs.
This is very important to understand the context of the interview.
Because there's also Mellody Hobson, who is an American Businesswoman, President and Co-CEO
of Ariel Investments and chairwoman of Starbucks.
They were invited to the DealBook Online Summit to express their opinions, so this is an excellent
opportunity to compare both communication styles so you can better spot those not-so-subtle
differences.
But it's also important to remember that it's never a good idea to actually compare two
or more people, because, just like this case, both Meghan and Mellody have their own views
on these topics.
And that's a critical distinction.
We are NOT here to compare their opinions, or how do they look, or anything.
We're not here to say that one is better than the other in any way or form, but instead,
understand the way they give their message so it helps us create a profile of each one,
individually.
And, I must say that the first question asked to Meghan was not very impersonal.
Andrew Ross made a reference to people asking, why did Meghan, with so much privilege, dedicate
herself to the paid family leave issue.
- I don't understand.
She has this great privilege.
How is this and why is this her topic?
You're gonna listen to just a fraction of her answer first;
- But even before I had any sort of privilege in my life, whem my life and my lifestyle
were very, very different, I always just stood up for what's right.
Ok, here's what happens.
Andrew asks a question directed to Meghan.
"Tell us why are you into this."
So, the first part of her answer makes sense.
She talks about herself doing the right thing.
Whatever 'doing the right thing' means for her.
But then, as she continues, maybe you can spot a pattern:
- So I've been gone from the US for a really long time.
I lived in Canada for seven years of work, then moved to the UK, and then came back to
be a mother of two.
Alright, then... she keeps talking about her personal experience, of living in different
countries... maybe in the next part of her answer she actually lands in the topic itself.
- And to see that the US is one of only six countries in the entire world that doesn't
offer any form of national paid leave... just don't make sense.
Now she lands on the topic and she addresses this problem of the United States regarding
paid family leave.
But you might have noticed that I labeled the three previous clips with letters.
And I did that so we could keep track of every section of her answer.
As a quick recap, in section A she used a reference to herself, in section B she talked
about the countries she has lived in, and in section C she addressed the issue.
Just in case you missed the exact words, I'm going to replay section B. You are about to
understand why is this so important:
- So I've been gone from the US for a really long time.
I lived in Canada for seven years of work, then moved to the UK, and then came back to
be a mother of two.
I made sure that you listened again to section B so you notice something.
What Meghan said in this section does not add absolutely anything to the topic.
She living in various countries is not actually relevant to the topic of paid family leave.
And to prove my point, let's listen to sections A AND C back to back and you'll see how unnecessary
was section B:
First, section A:
- But even before I had any sort of privilege in my life, whem my life and my lifestyle
were very, very different, I always just stood up for what's right.
Then, section C:
- And to see that the US is one of only six countries in the entire world that doesn't
offer any form of national paid leave... just don't make sense.
You see? it was seamless.
She addresses the personal focus of the question and turns it immediately to the topic at hand.
This doesn't mean that she couldn't talk about the countries she lived in, as long as it
was relevant to the conversation.
Maybe, hypothetically, she met a friend in Canada, that decided to move from the United
States because of this issue and that was the origin of her awareness.
That needless section B is talking about herself, about living in the US, in Canada and the
UK.
But living in a country doesn't mean that you automatically realize the struggles of
the people there.
In behavior analysis, every sentence counts.
And in this case she felt the need to justify herself in some form, why this topic was relevant
to her.
But when you know that something is just the right thing, there is no need to justify anything.
That's why you listened to sections A and C and it made perfect sense.
We haven't even mentioned her body language, or her voice tone, and you might be asking,
"how deep can you go with an analysis like this".
And... sometimes you can extract a whole story from just nine seconds, just as I did in my
previous episode about her wedding.
And you can learn to spot all those signals with my 100+ body language tips that you can
download right in the description of this video.
But what's even more fascinating is that this apparently useless section B, is in fact very
helpful to understand one dimension of Meghan's personality and that you can apply in any
conversation.
Two things happened.
She felt the need to justify herself, and at the same time she mention countries were
she has lived.
Just the need of justifying yourself is a form of insecurity.
That's a given.
If you listen so someone giving reasons that you haven't requested, that's a signal that
they are not so sure about themselves.
Maybe that's why she made that nose touch.
The second thing is that Meghan justified her involvement in paid family leave by talking
about herself.
When she never had to worry about the topic in a personal way.
If she felt forced to justify herself, she'd better mention someone, maybe anonymously
that made her get involved in this topic.
But she somehow felt that she needed to share how many stamps her passport has.
Let's make a quick comparison with the way Mellody answers her first question about financial
literacy.
In Meghan's defense, this question had a much softer personal component.
Let's see what can you get from her answer:
- Yes I absolutely wrote that because this is one of those issues that it's, this idea
financial literacy, and our unwillingness to speak about money is causing us to actually
widen the gaps that exist in our society.
Andrew asked about an opinion that she had shared previously about financial literacy.
And Mellody addresses the personal part in just a few words.
"Yes, I absolutely wrote that".
And then she immediately switched to "we".
OUR unwillingness to speak about money is causing US to actually widen the gaps that
exist in OUR society.
With her words she gets involved in the topic but at the same time she tries to focus her
answer in the issue itself as quick as possible.
I know.
It's unfair to judge Meghan from a single sentence, but she did pretty much the same,
more than a couple times in the rest of the interview, and I'll be explaing all of them
in future videos, including all her body language and the meaning of why did she wear that poppy.
It would be overwhelming to try to cram every single clue on just one episode, and the best
way that you can absorb these tips is to get them one by one.
Even more important is to apply them every day.
Let me know how it goes.
If you want to support my channel and help me make more videos, all you have to do is
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My name is Jesús Enrique Rosas and I'll see you soon, my body language buddies!