- Jack, right? - Yeah, Jack.
- How old is he now? - He's 2 1/2 now.
Yeah. - That's a cute age.
- It is a really fun and cute, amazing age.
[audience aws]
Look at that--ha ha--12th man.
- I mean, come on.
- Are you--are you patient with him?
[audience laughter]
- I--you know, it is really very easy to be patient
with this kid, he is... - Is it?
- just a remarkable kid. - He's good?
- Yes. - What about the Terrible Twos?
He's not in that? - No.
- There's no terribleness happening?
- From what I understand, most of the Terrible Two stuff
comes from a kid's or a toddler's inability to express
what they want? You know, they know what
they want, but they can't tell you because they don't know
the words yet? He's so vocal,
he just never--he's-- it's not that hard for him.
- He's talking? - Yes! And it's super
frustrating, because you're like "All right now, Jack,
I think it's time for bed," and he'll say:
"Mm, I thought about it and no thanks, Dad."
[audience laughter] "Not right now."
And I'm like "He's so polite! What am I supposed to do?"
He'll be like "Mm, I don't think so, I'd rather not right now."
And I'm like "I did teach you to be polite--
okay, you can stay up." - Wow.
He's really manipulative. I think it's manipulation.
- Well also, that's early, especially for a boy,
to talk, isn't it? - From what I understand, it is.
I mean, he's our only child, so I don't have a lot of experience
against which to weigh his upbringing so far, but
yeah, it's pretty early, I think.
He's really smart and vocal. - Wow.
I'm just gonna call him a genius right now.
- Yeah, I can--yes, he is. He truly is.
- That's amazing. - He says amazing things.
Profound things. I was laying next to our bed
while he--we made a little nest for him on this little retreat
we took over the holidays-- - I'm sorry, you made a nest?
- Yeah. [audience laughter]
- Twig--we spit in twigs-- - I see.
- There was like a tiny nest, lots of pillows and stuff, so--
'cause we didn't have a crib, so he was gonna sleep
on the floor in his little nest. - Uh-huh.
- And I was sitting down and I said--
I said "You know, Jack, there's a lot of people here
and it's very loud, and, you know, people are going to be
having a lot of fun, and there might even be some tension."
And he just said "It's family."
I was like-- I almost started crying.
"Thank you, son, you're right." He's like my therapist.
- Wow. - Yeah.
- That's amazing. - It was amazing!
- Yeah, so you don't have to worry about drinking better wine
to be patient with him. - Yeah, [laughs].
- If your kids were that smart, you wouldn't have anything
to worry about. [audience laughter]
That's the problem right there.
So you're drinking--you know what he drinks?
Maybe this is the ticket. You drink the Fireball stuff.
- Yeah, Fireball! Oh, that--
[cheers and applause] That's right.
That's right.
I don't know why, I don't even know why.
It's um...I guess I liked Hot Tamales as a kid growing up?
And now I'm old enough to consume alcohol,
so I put the two together? - Uh huh.
- And it's really terrific. For some reason,
it's just what we always drink.
- I just recently heard about it--I didn't--
- Do you like it? - I've never had it, but
it sounds horrible-- - It's garbage.
It is hot liquid garbage.
- But you know they found, like,
something that's in antifreeze in it, you know that.
- Really? - Yes.
- That makes sense. [audience laughter]
I drank some and I was, like, out in the snow in my boxers,
I was like "This is-- I'm not even cold."
- Yeah. [audience laughter]
- Antifreeze. - Because you had
antifreeze in you, that's why.
- That--it can't have that much antifreeze, 'cause if it had
a lot, I'd be dead by now. [audience laughter]
As much Fireball as I've drank.
- If we have some backstage, I'll bring some to you.
Andy, bring out the Fireball stuff.
- Whoo!
[cheers and applause]
- I don't know how much you drink.
- That's--that's about enough. - Is that right?
- I don't know how much you're supposed to serve,
so I just, you know.
- Yeah, 20 shots. - 20 is right?
- 20 shots is right. - Okay.
You can have one shot or whatever you want,
because we're gonna do something that you're very good--
no, thank you. [audience laughter]
- Now you go ahead. - I have to drink 'em both?
- Well you can-- whatever you want.
- Ooh! Oh!
- You ever smelled regret?
[cheers and applause]
- That'll help you fall. - That's great.