(upbeat music)
(soft music)
- Grant has to perform stand up,
but I get to write all of the stand up.
- Oh my god.
- And I'm gonna write you seven minutes worth of stand up.
The last three, you'll have to riff.
- You ever done stand up before?
- No.
- Ha!
Grant has to say it's all love
every time.
- Like, if he like sees the whole second amendment,
and then he has to just be like, this!
- Yes!
(soft music)
Everybody put your hands together for Jabookie Young White!
(laughing)
Adam Conover!
(audience cheering)
(audience laughing)
Now, the headliner that we have all been waiting for.
Grant O'Brien!
(audience cheering)
Yeah.
- Thank you very much.
- You're gonna do a great job.
- What's up everybody?
Keep it going for your comics, all right?
These guys were great.
Great.
After that, I moved to New York City,
is anyone here from New York?
Okay great.
(crowd laughing)
And after that I moved to Los Angeles.
Is anyone here from Los Angeles?
(clapping)
Great.
I've been on the dating apps a lot lately.
Boy, you meet some characters on there.
(crowd laughing)
No, it's all love.
Um,
this is a serious point.
Flossing is fake.
These people who are so big on flossing,
it's like oh you're probably the pro-vaccination
part of the tooth industry,
which is just you know, idiots.
I just did one of those escape rooms, uh yeah, right?
This one was called depression, and I did not escape.
(crowd chuckling)
You guys know the radio host Ira Glass?
I'm Ira Glass, it's This American Pie.
Stiffler's mom bought a butt plug
but didn't buy any lube.
Nah, it's all love.
I have the, oh, I have, actually, I have an audio visual.
This is the Second Amendment of the United States.
A well-regulated militia, which,
have you ever seen a well-regulated militia in your lief?
It's like oh good, some top down structure finally.
Like this is my impression of a militia,
which is just sorta like.
Oh, what's going on over here?
At least we still have the right to bare arms.
That it's like oh no, oh they took my arms, oh no.
In a world where God hosts an open mic
and everyone only gets five minutes.
Nah, it's all love.
What's the deal with tipping?
You know, like I paid, why do I have to pay twice?
Nah, it's all love.
Bed bugs, more like board bugs.
Quit chomping on my skin.
Yeah, Donald Trump, Donald Trump's in the news.
I always call him Donald Rump 'cause he's such an ass.
(distant chuckling)
It's all love.
Guys remember that movie Thank You For Smoking?
I always think to myself, what if they called that
Thank You For Joking?
That's what I'm actually thankful for.
I didn't actually want anybody to smoke, but
yeah, I want people to joke a lot.
I'm Grant O'Brien, that's my time.
Thank you, guys, appreciate it.
(crowd cheering)
(soft music)
- Give it up for Grant O'Brien!
(clapping)
- When did you feel the worst up there?
- When did I feel the worst?
When I was doing Stiffler's mom in an Ira Glass voice.
- The Ira Glass thing, I mean some of it people half laughed
at, the Ira Glass thing I was dead silent.
- That militia thing sucked.
(laughing)
(soft music)
- Hey what's up?
It's Ally.
Did you like that clip?
Me too, just so you know there's a full
22-minute long episode up right now on DropOut.
- So go to dropout.tv and start
your free trial today to see Ally do this.
I want you to publish your diaries.
- I wrote a poem for a straight girl today because I'm dumb.