-Thank you so much for tuning in to "The Tonight Show."
Let's get to the news and jokes.
Well, guys, earlier today, President Trump called in
to "Fox and Friends" and announced that he's gonna start
coming on the show once a week.
But I think he caught the hosts by surprise.
Watch this.
-I haven't heard that.
-Yeah, Trump announced that he'll be joining
"Fox and Friends" once a week,
so at least he's cutting back a bit.
[ Laughter ] That's right.
It'll only be one call a week and 168 hours per call.
[ Laughter ] "Oh, wow, it's Monday again.
I got to go. My --"
[ Laughter ]
I'm not surprised Fox had to schedule
a weekly call with Trump.
He's like your relative who always calls at the worst time.
"Oh, you're in the shower? Oh, that's interesting.
I was taking a shower the other day, and I --"
[ Laughter ]
After the surprise announcement, Trump was asked about
Bob Woodward and his new book, and here's what he had to say.
[ Laughter ]
"It was very boring. None of the pictures popped up,
and nothing I scratched made a smell."
[ Laughter ]
Yep, Trump claims he read a 480-page book in one night.
Please, I have more faith in there being a real vaccine
before the election.
[ Laughter ]
I get the feeling Trump read the front cover and the back cover
and thinks that means he read the entire book.
"I read it cover to cover." [ Laughter ]
The only way Trump finished a book in one night
is if he ate it. [ Laughter ]
"Very bland, very boring."
With the first presidential debate just two weeks away,
Trump was asked how he's preparing for it.
Here's what he had to say.
-So, no, he's not preparing for the debate.
[ Laughter ]
Later, Trump was asked about his repeated suggestion
that Joe Biden is taking drugs. Listen to this.
-You think he's taking some sort of drugs to pep him up?
-Hmm. Interesting. Now, remind me,
which candidate had a chunk of white stuff
fly out of their nose last week?
[ Laughter ]
-Ugh! [ Laughter ]
-"That's right. We're gonna make [sniffs]
America [sniffs] great [sniffs] again, again.
[Sniffs]
Eventually, they wrapped things up,
and Trump was eager to confirm next week's call,
but I'm not sure all the hosts were on the same page.
Watch this.
-Then we'll do it every week? We're gonna do it every week?
-All right. -Sounds good.
-Mr. President, thank you very much.
You may want to do it every week,
but Fox is not committed to that.
We're gonna take it on a case-by-case basis,
and Joe Biden, as well, is always welcome to join us
for 47 minutes, like we just did with the President.
[ Laughter ]
-You know it's been a great chat
when the person you're talking to
says exactly how many minutes it's been.
[ Laughter ]
"Well, we've been talking for 47 minutes, Grandma."
[ Laughter ]
Well, guys, everyone's talking about this today.
Apple held their big annual event
and unveiled new versions of the iPad and iPad Air.
Check it out.
Yep, the iPad Air has an all-new A14 bionic chip.
It's really powerful. To give you an idea,
it's the same chip that's powering Mark Zuckerberg.
[ Laughter ]
And this is great -- the new iPad's screen
is now sharper than ever before.
That's right. Experts say it'll revolutionize
the way you watch TikToks on the toilet.
[ Laughter ]
Apple also introduced a new Apple Watch.
Take a look at this.
Joe Biden was like, "Damn, if only the numbers were bigger."
[ Laughter ]
Yep, the Apple Watch is supposed to make everything super easy
while you're on the go, or as Americans in 2020 put it,
"On the what now?"
Apple also announced that they're gonna start offering
their own fitness classes.
People were like, "Yeah, yeah great.
Can I still order Domino's with my watch?"
[ Laughter ] This is interesting.
I saw that Pepsi is launching a new kind of beverage.
Check this out.
-Pepsi unveiling its new drink, called DriftWell,
with ingredients said to promote relaxation and ease stress.
-Yeah. That sounds way better
than what I've been doing --
pouring Nyquil into my SodaStream.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, the name of the drink is DriftWell.
DriftWell doesn't sound like a drink.
It sounds like a retirement community
where some bad stuff went down.
[ Laughter ]
I think I've seen that "Dateline."
And finally, speaking of drinks, Red Lobster is launching
a new Mountain Dew cocktail, called Dew-garita.
Here it is. Yeah.
I don't know. The Dew-garita sounds like
something you drink before a colonoscopy.
[ Laughter ]
Fun fact -- if you dunk your Cheddar Bay biscuit
in your Dew-garita,
you legally become governor of West Virginia.