[MUSIC]
Think about a defining moment in your life.
A moment that had a major impact on who you are today.
A moment that made you rethink your priorities.
I wonder how many of you are thinking about a moment of adversity.
Maybe you involved in an accident.
We left a broken relationship.
We have failed at something that was really important to you.
One such moment that made me rethink what matters most to me,
was also caused by adversity.
It was December, 2000, 4 days before Christmas, I was 13 years old and
had bruises all over my body, there were at least 50 of them.
And when it started as a normal nosebleed here and there,
turned into something abnormal and concerning.
So went to my local doctor who took a blood sample and
that same night I was admitted to the hospital.
A number of tests followed until the doctors could tell my parents and
me the diagnosis, leukemia.
And I could still very vividly remember my first reaction hearing this.
At least it's not cancer.
>> [LAUGH] >> Well,
my parents had to tell me that leukemia, in fact, was cancer.
>> [LAUGH] >> And I was devastated.
What followed were long lines of chemotherapy.
Every morning I got an infusion of something that looked and
smelled and indeed, was toxic.
I lost all my energy, most of my hair and
some mornings I couldn't quite recognize that face I saw in the mirror.
And it turned out that chemotherapy alone wouldn't do the job.
I needed a stem cell transplant from a genetic twin.
No one in my family was a match, so the doctors turned to the worldwide registries
of stem cell donors, and luckily, they found a genetic twin.
A stem cell transplant saved my life.
But this is not the end of the story, it's the beginning.
This is not a talk about cancer, it's a talk about life.
Having survived cancer, my attitude towards life completely changed.
I realized my life is finite and it's my own choice and
responsibility to make it matter.
Going back to school was a blast.
I enjoyed studying.
Which is probably not the most common thing for a 15 year old.
Started writing for
a local news paper, joined a drama group and found my passion for acting.
I created an exhibit about cancer to educate the public,
together with a fellow patient.
Traveled all across Europe and
couldn't care less what other people thought about me.
Overcoming cancer was a catalyst that kept me pushing forward in life.
It taught me lessons.
Some people only learn when their life is coming to an end.
But now?
More than a decade after surviving cancer,
the clarity of this defining experience started to wear off.
While my attitude towards life is still very much shape of that perspective that I
gained, lessons that I learned at least present in everyday life and
an autopilot starting to taking over again.
So the past few years of spend far too much time with people only talk energy but
never gave me energy, I worry too much about what other people think about me and
[SOUND] worked many hours and treated my body with respect.
Think about your own moments of adversity.
How much of the choices you make still shape that experience?
Since coming to Stanford, I had a lot of time to reflect on my own life, and
I realized something.
Lasting change in live doesn't come through the occasional setback or crisis.
Lasting change in life happens in the small moments of each day.
The small moments that give us the opportunity to reflect on our lives,
and reconfirm or change who we want to become.
So the other day, a close friend was asking me, what's one thing in your life
that you want to change and what keeps you from doing it?
And I said he knew the answer being single.
>> [LAUGH] >> That's true.
>> [LAUGH] >> Deep relations matter a lot to me.
And in that moment, I felt inspired to finally do something about it.
But seconds later, the voices in my head started shouting, this is a bad plan.
Online dating is time consuming and
random and there's a lot of creepy people on there.
>> [LAUGH] >> Meeting new people,
it can lead to rejection.
And isn't complicated relationship just more work than being alone?
And this is exactly the pattern that keeps repeating over and
over again in the moments that can be potentially be defining for us.
You realize that you want to change something, but then you stop.
You realize that you want to finally end that unhealthy relationship,
quit that job you hate, spend more time with that friend, start volunteering,
eat healthier, start working out, say I love you to someone, whatever it is, but
you don't take action.
You realize and find this talk or conversation or
article aspiring, but then that moment passes.
Too often, we let that moment slip through our fingers
because we don't feel empowered to make a choice.
We don't feel empowered to overcome the obstacles.
But in these moments, we have to go further.
Which would reflect on what's holding us back and make a choice to act.
So that conversation with my friend got me thinking.
Yes, I can find a thousand and I'm creative so
probably even more reasons why dating is time consuming and complicated.
Hey, it's important to me so it's worth the effort.
The only way I can lose is better than not doing anything at all.
And looking at my own life I can find many of these small moments where reflecting on
what's holding me back, and making a choice to act,
can actually bring me a little bit closer to who I want to be.
So last year, for example, I spent a lot of time recruiting for an internship and
consulting.
Although deep down I knew that that's not quite the thing I want to do with my life.
But it seemed prestigious and other people excited so I gave it a shot and
went to all these recruiting events and sessions and
interviews and, well, actually ended up with an offer letter.
And holding that thing in my hand I thought, well, it looks like a solid plan,
it would be stupid to turn that down.
And I was this close to signing until I stumbled upon my Stanford application
what matters most to me and why?
And we're reading that,
I realized what should have known before that spending time on consulting
wouldn't bring you any closer to that Korean media that I want to have.
So I took action and turn it down.
At the end of last year, I felt pretty exhausted.
I over committed to too many classes and I took projects and activities and
social commitments and all that stuff we over commit to, many of you do.
And I felt that my mind lost it's usual clarity and focus.
And seating on the airport, waiting for
my flight back home for winter break, felt like I have to do something about this.
But the only idea I had was mediation because I remembered
conversations with friends, we talked about the benefits of meditation.
But I didn't quite like the idea of sitting cross-legged and
focusing my breath like ten minutes and hoping it will be better.
>> [LAUGH] >> But truth be told,
I didn't have any better idea.
So I downloaded that meditation app that friend recommended and tried it out.
What can I say?
I'm doing it every day now, and my mind is a lot clearer.
I'm actually taking a meditation class next quarter.
And this list of small defining moments, reflecting and
acting, can make a difference, it's practically endless.
And I'm not a master in acting on all of these moments yet.
I'm still figuring things out.
But now I want you to think about your own life.
Think about yesterday, what did you do, who did you talk to,
when did you feel inspired.
What were the moments when you thought, I should do this, or
I should stop doing that.
But you didn't take action.
You lacked that conversation.
You put that book aside.
You closed your eyes.
We think too much, and hold back too much.
We want to do so many things in our lives, but we don't even start,
because we think we can wait.
Don't wait for cancer.
Don't wait for adversity to hit you in the face.
But the next time you think, I should do this.
Don't go back to your busy life.
Don't go back to autopilot.
But instead, ask yourself what's holding you back.
Reflect and act right now.
Your defining moment can be right now.
Thank you.
>> [APPLAUSE]
[MUSIC]